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PandorahBear

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My name is Amanda. I adopted a gorgeous black and white cat, named Jade in January of 2012. About a year after having her,she waa diagnosed with Hyperthyroidism. For the past two years..she has struggled with it. Losing weight....from 7 to 4 pounds. She was on medication for it...but it wasn't helping. And her thyroid tests came back with bad news...

I had just got married. Went on my honeymoon and left Jade with the vets for the week. She as already showing signs of getting worse...but how bad she got in such a short time...I was not prepared for.
I returned home...to a cat who was weak, and obviously suffering. She wouldn't look at me...would turn away from me when I called her. All she did was lay in the bed I made her..shaking. she could barely lift her head without trembling. She was so weak. I called my vet in hysterics. He told me they tried everything they could to get her to eat. He also told me..that it was apparent that she is losing the battle with Thyroid Cancer. I made the decision that day...to put her to sleep....
An hour later.. I was holding her lifeless body,wrapped in a towel...at my vets...

I feel...so lost. It happened too fast. It was so unexpected. And I can't help but feel guilty. I keep asking myself if leaving her at the vetz was too much for her. She went down hill so fast. She was already on her way...but I thought I had more time.
She was my baby. My favorite. We were so close. I feel so lost and cheated. I've cried every night since. This grief is over whelming. I miss my jade...this hurts so much.......
I'm going to miss the way she would wake me up. The way she would gently paw at me to get my attention. I'm so heart broken.....
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Minis_mom

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Reply with quote  #2 
Amanda,

I am so sorry for your loss. I understand how you feel. We lost Jack, our awesome toy fox terrier, to cancer last June and I am watching my little baby, Mini, deal with oral cancer in her cheek. She doesn't have much longer either.

You did nothing wrong, in fact you did everything right. I don't think it would have mattered who you left her with or even if you hadn't left her, because it was just her time. I know that doesn't help make the pain go away or diminish it in any way. The important thing to remember is that you were there with her to the end. You held her in your arms and she felt your love and knew she was safe. She doesn't hurt anymore and isn't suffering. That's what I tell myself everyday when I think of Jack.

Remember the joy she brought to your life. Please don't hold any guilt or question whether you made the right decision. You did everything you felt was right, and it was.
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