I made the dreadful decision last Monday to put my handsome little love bug Bennie down. I am completely devastated. No body seems to understand what I’m going through. I just feel like nothing with ever be the same. I miss him so much. My vet and two specialists he consulted with couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him. After many tests they decided to treat him as If he had IBD. Unfortunately Bennie did not respond to any medication they typically use for IBD. He completely stopped eating and was just wasting away. He went from 15 pounds down to 10. No matter what they tried he was non responsive to any medications. I had him at the vet for 5 days with no change, I decided to bring him home and that weekend was our last weekend together. Bennie was there with me through some very rough times in my life, a double mastectomy, five surgeries, an abusive relationship and a divorce that took five years. He would greet me when I came home from work and never left my side. He would follow me in to bed at night and sleep with his little head on my pillow. Now all that’s there is an empty spot that smells like him and worn out bed sheets where he pulled the fabric with his little nails. My heart is broken. 💔
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Hi Cnicosia13,  I am so sorry for your loss.  Your sweet boy, Bennie, is beautiful.  He has such insightful and warm eyes.  I can see why you loved him so much and why he was so special to you.  

I've always known what was wrong when my kitty girls had to be laid to rest, so I don't know the agony you are going through.  Not knowing must be horrible.  Perhaps he had kidney disease or heart issues.  Those things are pretty common in older kitties, and my experience is that some regular veterinarians don't really understand how to diagnose them or treat them correctly.  I switched over from a regular vet to an Internist and got a whole lot more answers and more thorough treatment.  

Anyway, all of us here understand the pain and loneliness of losing a beloved fur baby, so please keep sharing.  It is heartbreaking that other people in our lives don't understand, but there is a community of people here who do understand.  Pets are our companions, roommates, confidants, sources of support and happiness, and so much more.  It's natural to be devastated when they pass on to Rainbow Bridge.  

Sending healing thoughts at blessings your way, plus a special acknowledgement for the life that Bennie lived and all that he gave to you. He deserves to be recognized. 
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Bennie's Mom,
I am so so sorry for our loss of your regal and handsome Bennie.  There are no words to ease the ache and fill the empty hole within your heart and soul...Your loss is so recent and your grief so so harsh in its intensity - this can only be felt not described.   Bennie, is your life companion and while today it may not feel so, he will be with you forever and always.  You two are bonded, sharing life's ups and downs and developing a bond, a relationship that defies the change in physical form.  
It is so difficult to have to make that fateful decision for our special fur one...and yet you made this most painful decision for your boy - it is the most unselfish decision ever made...You let your life companion go with his dignity, with respect and with love....Our companions are so so stoic, never complaining and always anxious to save us from worry or upset - We often are unsure of why or how they became ill...They simply cannot tell us and rely upon us to make the best decisions at the right times.  Bennie will know always and forever his special mom loved him like no other would or could...He carries your heart, your 'secrets' and your love with him...And he will never leave your side...He will hear your voice, see your tears and carefully still wear out those bed sheets with his nails...He is thankful for such a caring companion and mom - the bonds we create with our fur ones are enduring...they transcend the world we move within.
Grief is a journey...and if no one understands your loss, that is really 'their loss' they have never experienced the bond, the unconditional love of a fur one...You need to let your grief be your grief, not be the grief others expect you to have or not have.  It is a long journey, and one taken day by day, step by step often with many steps backward...But, your life was changed because of Bennie and is still changed because of Bennie.  Your grief is a reflection of your love for your sweet little man.  
Come to the forum often, as there are so many kind, understanding people here.  No judgement, just acceptance...
May your heart feel the touch of your Bennie's love each day still...May you find a moment of calmness today, just a moment...and that will be ok for now...
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Bennie's mom,  I am truly sorry for yours loss.  In this forum you will find a community filled with very caring and understanding people.  We all have suffered the "loss" of a beloved pet.  Perhaps, the circumstances might differ, but the pain is the same. 

CKMP thank you, in writing to Bennie's mom, you have helped me ease my pain.  

Again, Bennie's mom, I am very sorry for your loss.
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So sorry for Your loss.I went through it today again with my poodle Jordan.He was sick kidneys were failing and then he stopped eating and drinking.You have been through a lot..wish Your furry friend could have lived longer.
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Thank you so much for your kind and comforting words. It’s so nice to know that they’re people out there that genuinely care.
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