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Pennysforevermom
Thank you to everyone who has responded and shared your stories about your beautiful fur babies. It really means alot. How do we get to the point where we stop blaming ourselves....wishing that we could have done more....wishing that we had known sooner that our babies were sick...constantly reliving our last day with them...they're last moments on this earth. Today I'm really trying to focus on the happy times with her. Her life was so much more than these past few months or her last day. My little baby came to me when she was 2 months old. 2 months...that's a long time to love a puppy. It comes in waves...one moment I'm ok. Then the tears....
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Pennysforevermom
Thank you to everyone who has responded and shared your stories about your beautiful fur babies. It really means alot. How do we get to the point where we stop blaming ourselves....wishing that we could have done more....wishing that we had known sooner that our babies were sick...constantly reliving our last day with them...they're last moments on this earth. Today I'm really trying to focus on the happy times with her. Her life was so much more than these past few months or her last day. My little baby came to me when she was 2 months old. 2 months...that's a long time to love a puppy. It comes in waves...one moment I'm ok. Then the tears....
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Quincysmomma
Pennysforevermom,

I have no idea when it gets better.  I did ok yesterday and today not so much.  My husband promises me its going to get better, but I think the general isolation because of the state of the world right now is not helping.

For some reason today...it seemed like it really hit me that this is all real that Quincy is really gone...I miss him so much.
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Molly4always

When I lost my sweet Molly in January because of lung cancer I was just like you. I blamed myself for everything like not taking her to the vet sooner, not seeing the signs and if I had her euthanized too soon.  I relived her last moments over and over and over.  At times, I would scream to myself that I killed my baby.  It was the most intense pain I had ever felt even more than losing loved ones.  After all, she was my responsibility and I felt that I failed her so much.  I read everything I could find on cancer in cats and found that this horrible disease is like a silent killer.  It comes on so fast without much warning.  That first month was agony but now I don’t beat myself up anymore.  I realize that even though I made mistakes; I did my best and if there was anything I could have done to save her, I would have done it no matter the cost. It’s not our fault that we don’t know the future.

And yet a part of me still can’t quite believe she’s really gone.  But just like Quincysmomma, sometimes it just hits me especially when I remember something about her that I thought I forgot.  At those times I point to my heart and say she’s always in here. My baby girl will always live in my heart.  I put a plaque on her urn that says, “I’ll hold you in my heart until I hold you in heaven”.

 

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Pennysforevermom
Qiuncysmomma and Molly4always,
I know how you feel. One moment I'm ok and the next minute I'm falling apart. When we bring these fur babies into our homes and hearts, no one and nothing really prepares us for the day that we lose them. Your posts really helped me because I've been beating myself up and second guessing my choices even though I did the best that I could and would have continued to do the best for my baby. Molly4always, I can really relate to your experience because my baby was diagnosed with lymphoma when she was 9 and I didn't see the signs. By the time I got an appointment with an oncologist, he told me that she had 2 to 8 weeks to live. There is no way that you can know, especially with cancer. Thankfully, she survived and was cancer free for 5 years. Which makes this loss so devastating. I thought she would pull through again. I'm praying for a better day tomorrow. I had no idea it would be this hard.
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