Indi_mum
I lost my beloved labrador Indi two days ago.  I am devastated and don't know how I will ever get over this.  She had a mammary tumour removed about six weeks ago and all seemed ok, vet thought they got good margins, but she had an infection that took a while to clear.  Then, just when it had, she started looking bloated.  She had got into the cupboard and found the gravy bones so the vet put it down to that but I had a gut feeling something wasn't right.  I took her back and they gave her an emergency ultrasound.  They could find nothing abnormal but she was drinking and urinating excessively so they took bloods and a urine sample.  Her blood wasn't clotting, her liver enzymes were high and it didn't look good.  The vet thought it may have been lungworm or poisoning.  She spoke to the animal hospital and they suggested bringing her in and giving her plasma and then doing more tests in the morning.  I took her there and left her.  They spoke to me on Friday morning to say that they had got her stable enough to do a CT scan and would get biopsy tests o saturday.  The results of the scan seemed inclusive (or perhaps I just didn't understand what they were saying) but they were awaiting the results.  That night I got a call to say she was struggling to breath.  They could give her more time but it was just postponing the inevitable.  I could not let her suffer and said to let her go.  I am gutted that I could not be there with her but it was an hour and a half away and I could not let her hold on.  It would seem that the cancer was an inflammatory mammary carcinoma which has no cure and is very fast spreading.  If i had known that I would not have let her go to the hospital and put her through that.  She could have stayed at home and gone with me and her family around her.  I feel heartbroken and so guilty and I miss her every moment of the day.
My heart is filled with labradors
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anang
I'm so sorry for your loss. Having to have your baby go through medical tests and procedures is extremely stressful. You did everything you could for Indi, and you made the right decision to not make her wait in pain. She knows how much you loved her. The grief is horrible, but you will find a lot of very supportive people here.
-Katie
K. Unger
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just_lost
I'm sorry about your beautiful Lab, Indi_mum :(  It reads to me like you put your Indi first and foremost, doing everything that you could do and more.  Not allowing her to suffer emphasizes how much you love her.  It's really easy to beat ourselves up and wonder, "What if...?", and I can certainly understand your feelings of guilt but do try to be easy on yourself.  You did your absolute best based on what you knew and the information you had.  Know that you're welcome here and that there are many wonderful, supportive people here.  I hope that you can find some comfort and healing.
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Jan_H
I am very sorry for your loss of your sweet Indi and all that you and she endured in her final days. It is normal to feel guilty and have regrets. But you did everything you could for Indi. Clearly Indi was very special and very much loved. People here understand. I hope we can help you through this difficult time.

My condolences,
Jan
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