LoriJ

Hi - I don't know how to deal with the guilt and remorse I am feeling.  I made the decision to put my 13 year old dog to sleep a couple days ago.  He had many issues, vomiting constantly, weight loss, arthritis and cancer. My vets both felt he might have a couple more weeks, but there was not going to be any getting better. They said it was up to me of course, but in their minds it wasn't too early. I decided to let him go.  And now, I have huge guilt, that maybe I should have brought him home for a couple more weeks.  But if I did, he would have likely gotten worse, but maybe he would have had a few more good days too.  He was still alert, and I just feel like I have let my best friend in the world down by making a bad decision.  I don't know how to cope with this and the physical pain alone is consuming me.

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smkovalinsky
I'm so sorry to hear how bad you're feeling,  but I do NOT think you made the wrong decision:  You spared him further pain and deterioration by allowing him to go to sleep.  He knows how much you love him.  I had to put my 11 year old pooch,  my very best friend, down on July 9.  It was for similar reasons:  Cancer found on the liver and spleen,  and arthritis which was very painful.  It broke my heart but it was to end his suffering.   We all have second thought and doubts and guilt:  It is a MAJOR symptom of pet loss grief.  Hold him close in your heart,  and stay connected.  He is still yours,  just on a different level now,  at least I truly believe this as do many others.  
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LoriJ

Thank you for your kind words, and I am so very sorry for the recent loss of your friend too. I have had to part with other dogs too, 2 and 6 years ago, and Carson was my last dog.  That makes it hard in itself, I have not been without a furkid for 20 years.  But also, with the other 2, they collapsed and their passing was imminent.  I have never had to really make the choice before, and as much as my head keeps saying it was logical, my heart is saying the opposite, and that I was rash and didn't see the signs he was giving me to keep going for a while.  Illogical, yes, but emotions do overtake that right now I guess. 

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Baileys_mum_01
Lori J, I am so sorry for you loss.  It is such a difficult decision to make to let our babies go.  I had to make that decision nine weeks ago. My vet told me a similar thing.  Bailey wasn't going to get any better and be might only have a few weeks left.  My boys were home from university for a brief visit so they could say goodbye.  They wanted to be there when he went to sleep.  If it wasn't for the boys I might have hung on a little longer but then had to get back for exams.  I still feel guilty but not as much as I did in those first few weeks. I realise now we let Bailey go at the right time.  I am glad we were with him.  I wouldn't have wanted him to go to sleep alone at home whilst I was at work.  I couldn't have the time off with him because I work in a school.  The vet told us it was the kindest thing before the pain got worse.  I miss Bailey so much but I feel him with us.  We have his ashes on a side cabinet with his photos and a candle.  Some days are easier than others.  Bailey was still very much alert although looking back at the last pictures of him I realised how thin and sick he looked.  The vet told me it was the medication that was keeping him going.  Please be kind to yourself and realise you did what you did out of love before your baby suffered even more pain.  You remember him still being alert and you were with him at the end.  This is a great place to come for support.  You are not alone.  Take care.  You are in my thoughts.
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Mistysmama
Lori, those symptoms are BAD. You did the right thing. He was suffering. Dogs are incredibly stoical, and often have to be near death's door before they show any weakness. Constant vomiting in itself is bad enough. That is miserable. They keep no nutrition down, and feel the effects of that as well as the unpleasantness of vomiting....and that's apart from the pain of arthritis....and the cancer.
Please try to find a little peace and forgiveness for yourself about your decision. You freed him from the dreadful decline which faced him.
Blessings to you and to his spirit.
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
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