ricemanstm
A little over 16 years ago I walked into a pet store holding an adoption event.  I didn't know what I'd find but I thought "What the heck."  I saw this beautiful little tortoise shell, sitting with her front paws folded under her.  I made a little sound to get her attention.  She looked back at me half open eyes as her ears zeroed in on me.  She was sassy, I could see that.  

I found a clerk and asked if I could hold her.  He said "Oh sure! Yeah, she was just cleared this morning.  Somebody found her in a dumpster with a gash on her chin.  Doc patched her up and got rid of the infection."  I raised my eyebrows.  "No, she's 100%."  He reached into the cage and put her in my arms.  She IMMEDIATELY...nuzzled in and buried her face in my arms.  She had me...she picked me...I looked at her as she started purring.  "I think I'll take this one."  And thus started our friendship...kinship...partnership.  

I named her Delenn after one of my favorite female characters in "Babylon 5".  We had a lot of adventures together but most importantly...she was my guardian angel.  She saw me through the best of times and got me through the worst of them.  And she stuck with me through all the stupid decisions I made in my life.  She was my CONSTANT companion, she was my familiar.

Together we went through 3 states, 3 cities, 3 counties, two apartments, two houses, one condo, 3 girlfriends and four cars.  She approved my wife :-)...watched over our kids and guarded the house.  She was my gaming partner and editing assistant.  She was always within reach and ready to jump in.

I can't believe how much I miss her.  Making the decision to send her on her final journey...without me...was one of the best and worst ones I could make. I can only pray I never have to do it again.  I also pray we'll all be reunited one day.  But for now there's just an empty hole in my heart and soul that I can't fill or close up at the moment.  I just go one breath at a time.
Delenn 2.jpg
Stephen "Riceman" Myers
"The greatest tribute one can give a loved one is to share their life and stories with others."

Quote 0 0
Sadiesmom061308
Delenn is beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss. You have come to the right place as everyone here is wonderful. We are all grieving for our babies. I hope you can find some peace. Sending blessings.
Tammy
Quote 0 0
NormaT
How fortunate that Delenn found you and that you had 16 years together. She is such a sweetie. Letting go of them is just the most difficult thing ever. Although we know it is he right decision a the right time it is still so hard. I would love, in time, to be able to give my love to another fur baby but I know that I could NEVER again endure the pain of loosing them.

Norma
Norma 
Quote 0 0
Beaglemomma
What a BEAUTY she is.  I had a kitty for 20 years but she has been gone for about 8 years now.  She was sweet but a "touch me not" kitty but never more than a foot from me. 

I am so sorry for your loss.  It is so wonderful to have these babies and so very hard to lose them.  Words just don't do any of this justice and they all sound so trite.  But you can KNOW that anyone here knows exactly how you feel or we wouldn't be here.

Don't know what people did before Ginny started this site.  I can't imagine going through this AWFUL time without everyone here helping each other.
janice
Quote 0 0
LUCYLULU
Agree with Janice. Delenn is beautiful--and with such light, and bright green eyes. I am very sorry. Making the decision to take their pain is so heartbreakingly hard. At the time, irregardless of illness or age, we don't want them to suffer anymore. It's after-- coming home, or going to bed, or 'sitting in our spot' etc.-- it's then that we feel the finality of it all. We will never be together again. Delenn knew then and knows now that you made the unselfish decision because you loved her so much. Some moments, hours, days will feel as if you cannot make it through. You will. Though you are right to take it one breath at a time. 

Like Winnie the Pooh said:  'If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart. I'll stay there forever'. I hope you get little signs from Delenn. And I hope that you come here often.  Extra hugs,  Kasey
Quote 0 0
ricemanstm
Thank you all for your kind words.  Today has been especially hard.  I'm really missing her today.  i come home and I keep expecting to see her poke her head around the corner or come prodding into the kitchen screaming at me that her bowl is empty.  I haven't had the courage to clean up her things...I know I'm going to just lose it when I do.  I know my friends don't get really get it so I don't really talk with them.  My wife just looks at me...I mean I know she's trying but she doesn't get it.  The kids try to comfort me.  Right now...i just try to get through in silence as best I can.  It's only been 48 hours and it feels like forever.  I knew this day would come but I never thought it would.  I just miss her plain and simple.  I miss her fur, I miss her presence, I miss her stupid claws getting caught in the carpet.  I miss hearing her cough up a hair ball, I miss tiptoeing around it at 2 AM and then playing blind man's bluff trying to find it.  I miss her so much...
Stephen "Riceman" Myers
"The greatest tribute one can give a loved one is to share their life and stories with others."

Quote 0 0
davey1
Thank you for sharing your story of companionship and love for Delenn. Sixteen years is an incredibly long time, personally I only have a 3 human friends I've had longer than that. That says a lot about the bond you form with your pet. Interacting with them on a daily basis, they become a very important part of what we consider home. It is one of the most difficult experiences to see our friends leave us.
It is my hope that you understand what you feel now is a measure of your love for Delenn. Also know that you provided what sounds like a great home, something Delenn needed very much. You did that, and that's incredibly special.
Let your heart heal, try to remember the good. It may help to find small ways to honor Delenn, like making a memorial, scrapbook, or posting on here to help others.
I wish you the best, losing your best friend is hard, be nice to yourself.
Davey's Dad
Quote 0 0
BeachieGirl33
My heart goes out to you and I'm so sorry for your loss.  I will send a prayer for you.  Try lighting a candle for Delenn.  We do that every day and night for Little.  It does help I think.   I still have Little's litter box in the bathroom and it's been 5 weeks.  His blanket is still on the bed.  I'm not ready yet to change anything.  Take care of yourself.
Delenn is beautiful!  I know my boys are checking her out at Rainbow Bridge!

Peace.
Betty
Quote 0 0
ricemanstm
One of the last things I did with Delenn was take her on one last patrol around our home.  She had this routine where she would patrol upstairs.  She'd go into each of the kids' rooms and then come and sit with me in the man cave while I did my nightly gaming.  After about 10 min, she'd move just outside the door and lay down so she could keep watch over the entire up and downstairs area.  She hadn't done that in a couple of months.  So my daughter and I took her on one last look.  I picked her up and I said "Ok sweetheart, here we go.  Let's take one last look."  She looked at me, her eyes still bright, and her ears perked up.  We started up the stairs and she immediately looked around all alert.  

We started in the guest room.  She looked all around, left, right, up, and around.  Then she looked down as if to say: "This room is clear."  Then we moved to my son's room.  Same thing...left right, up, around...then down.   To my daughter's room...each time...same thing.  We did the entire upstairs.  And when we finished she struggled a little saying "Okay...let's go.  We're done up here."  

We did the downstairs next.  Same routine.  We did the master bedroom left.  Here she took her time.  She took it all in moving her head slowly before she finished.  Then she looked at me, and I kissed her head and told her "Thank you Delenn.  We love you.  Daddy loves you."

My daughter and I took her out into the backyard for a few minutes, let her lay in the sun.  When she tried to get up we knew it was time to go in. We put her on the floor and laid there with her.  We could tell she was tired.  It was time to go.  We put her in a basket with cotton sheet so she could lay comfortably.  Then we went to the car.  It seemed fitting that I drove her out here from California in our Camry...and now I was going to take her to the Rainbow Bridge in it.  I turned on the headlights in respect for my fur daughter.

We got to the vet a few minutes later and they took right us in.  We all knew what was next.  We were both crying, Delenn just looked at us.  We were caressing and kissing her.  The vet said let me borrow her for a minute so we can prep her.  As the vet took her to the back Delenn and I locked eyes.  I said "I'll be right here baby.  The doctor is going to make you feel better."  My daughter and I waited for the vet to return and 5 minutes later she did.  At this point...Delenn was just laying there...completely unresponsive.  I asked the vet "Did you give her a shot?"  "No.  I haven't done anything.  All we did was put the IV cath in."  

I saw her chest was still moving, but she just laid there with a blank stare.  "Delenn?" I scritched her ears. No response.  I stroked her chin.  Nothing.  My daughter kissed her.  Nothing.  At this point, I'm convinced her soul had left and all we were looking at was her mortal shell.  We both started to cry.  "My sister..." my daughter said through tears.  "My Delenn..."  The vet, Dr. Yip was trying to remain professional but I could see she was moved by our grief.  She said "I'm going to giver her the anesthetic now."  She flushed the line and then pushed the drug.  Delenn's chest heaved twice...then stopped.  "She's stopped breathing." I said.  Dr. Yip looked down and then put her stereoscope on her. "Her heart is still beating.  Let me give her the second shot."  Then she administered the paralytic.  My daughter and I were openly bawling at this point.  A minute later Dr. Yip listened to Delenn's chest one more time.  "She's gone."

We just cried...and cried.  We held each other.  Dr. Yip excused herself to give us privacy.  My daughter and I read  some Psalms 46.  Then we read "The Rainbow Bridge".  We kissed her.  I picked her up...she was so limp it killed me inside.  We read some more prayers and then said our last goodbye.  At 2:23 she was at peace.

I miss her so much I don't know what to do.  My friends have their own lives.  My wife wasn't much of an animal person, she's trying but she's not much support.  My kids need me strong but I'm a mess.  I want her back.  Mornings are the worst because I miss her yelling at me in the morning.  I'm hoping by getting things out here I can find some way to get my brain and emotions back on track.  I feel alone right now.  She was my sidekick and companion. And now I'm just alone.

I'm sorry for just blathering on but...I miss her fur...her claws in the carpet...boxing with her...

Yesterday was so hard.  We had some storms come through.  And I like to think she sent us this rainbow as if to say "I'm here. " rainbow.jpg 

I miss you Delenn...Daddy misses you.  We all do.
Stephen "Riceman" Myers
"The greatest tribute one can give a loved one is to share their life and stories with others."

Quote 0 0
LUCYLULU
You are 'in the storm'. I agree.  Delenn sent you that beautiful double rainbow because she was letting you know 'I'm Here'. You are sharing your story-- your love for Delenn. Please treasure that picture...that moment. It's remarkable. You've shared it with all of us on the Rainbow Bridge forum. Thank you. Hugs, Kasey
Quote 0 0
ricemanstm
Thank you for the words Lucy.  It was full and complete rainbow...we don't get those very often.  
Stephen "Riceman" Myers
"The greatest tribute one can give a loved one is to share their life and stories with others."

Quote 0 0