I got out of the shower tonight and for a split second I thought you’ed be there. I went to put the lotion on my feet and I was thinking I would have to do it quietly so you wouldn’t hear and come to lick it off. I went by the park today and even after 3 months I still miss you as much as ever. I feel I’ve changed since your transition. Nothing feels as enjoyable. I think of the stress I’m going through with my health and how much peace and support you provided. Living life without you here is strange. I can’t believe how unexpectedly I cry over you still, how intensely. Then, I go an entire day not talking to you or thinking of you and I feel so guilty. I love you more than anything son. I still can’t believe your not coming back thru that doggie door. I hope I see you in my dreams tonight. Love you son, Mom. 
Laraine Esposito 
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I am so sorry for your loss.  I know how you feel.  Lost my boy 2 weeks ago.  Miss him so much but am glad he is not suffering.  I will never forget him and I am trying to learn to live without him.  I understand the guilt.  The first time I watched a movie and laughed I felt guilty like how could you be laughing it hasnt even been 2 weeks yet.  I have to remember that all my feelings are normal and that I am human and need to working on forgiving and loving me too.  This group helps so much as everyone at one point or another has felt exactly as I have.  We have all lost a beloved family member and are hurting.
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I understand how  terrible and hard this is.  I am so sorry .  I list my Hollie 1 month ago and I miss her more each day.  Life and routine is do not normal anymore.  The tears still come and the thoughts are ever single day. I hope in time things become more manageable.  Stay strong and keep visiting the forum 
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