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Michelemh
Pkindree - So sorry for your loss.

Michele
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pkindree
Hi Michelle and thank you. It's very painful and I am still looking for my little buddy and want to check on him. It's so sad. I know you are here because of a similar loss and I am sorry for your loss as well. It is so fresh and I have been breaking down most of the day crying. Thank you and I appreciate your kind words of support. Patti
Patti
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Michelemh
My dog passed away six months ago but I still miss her. It gets a little easier but the loss is still there. It always will be. She was perfect.

Michele
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pkindree

Hi Michele, what was your perfect doggies name? My guy was Monty.  He was so cute because of his under-bite and always looked like he was smiling, and he even used to smile and make kind of a laughing sound at us when he greeted us. It was the cutest thing ever!

 

Patti
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Michelemh
Here name is Onyx. She was perfect. A once in a life time dog. The love of my life. She would have been 18. I rescued her when she was a puppy. Life will never be the same. I have another picture but it says it is too big.
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stevenkep
Hi Patti,

When you mention your Monty's underbite, it reminds me of Ruffles because she had an underbite as well.  When she came home to live with us, we used to joke that Ruffles couldn't be in the Westminster Dog Show because of that underbite.  It was part of her personality, and we always used to say, "That's just Ruffles being Ruffles!"

You also mention about not being able to discuss your feelings with your family, and that echoes what I have been going through.  My wife and daughter seem to want to move on and only remember the happy times with our dog.  I understand that, but I am not there yet.  I worry because as days turn into weeks, I don't break out spontaneously into tears as I did in the beginning, and I attribute that in part to the fact that I can't discuss my feelings about Ruffles to my family as openly as I am able to do so here in this forum.  But I have Ruffles's blanket, and consider myself fortunate to have the clothing that she wore on that trip to the hospital that night.  Last night, as I did my nightly vigil at Ruffles's bedside starting at a quarter to twelve, I talked to her, as I always do at this time, and started crying when I remembered how I used to say to her, "Ruffles is a good girl...yes she is, yes she is!"  I would say this to her when I was trying to convince her of that, even though at the time she may have been trying to get away with something.  And now my good girl is gone, and I'm getting teary-eyed as I type these words....

Friends, there are things that I read on these posts that also bring tears to my eyes, and it helps me to remember that nothing matters to me as much as Ruffles does, and nothing will ever make me feel like I've got to move on.  Because that's wrong, and it would be a sacrilege to my precious devotion to Ruffles.

Like you, Patti, and as others have expressed, there are times when I thought that I'd go out of my mind with grief.  And then I think how much I've changed since the events of mid-January to the present, and how things that I used to obsess about no longer seem to be that big a deal.  Because it's at these times that I try to look at things from a dog's perspective, and I am coming to realize that it really is a gift to be able to do that.

Sincerely,

Steve
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pkindree
Dear Steve, thank you for writing such an amazing message. Ruffles and Monty would probably have been great pals and they are over the Rainbow Bridge now smiling down at us. I pray for that.
I have found that my relationship with Monty was my relationship with Monty. Not anyone else had what we shared. So, I can only heal as quickly as I can. Just like you and Ruffles. You had a special bond that no one else fully shared. We connect with our animals the way we do with people - some are at a superficial level and some are very deep. We cannot compare that to what someone else felt with them. That's when I feel alone in my grief. I lost my little buddy who sat next to me literally every day, 24/7. Who else knows what that felt like? No one.  Because no one else had that. No one else sang your special song to Ruffles. That was between the two of you.
I'm so glad to hear that you are coming to some acceptance. I agree, our doggies would not want us to be sad. They come into our lives, and we know we will likely outlive them. We have to suffer them saying goodbye.
I will continue to come on here and pray for the healing of every good person, and hope that my heart too will soon not suffer so much. It's truly a painful loss of a companion.
Take care, and thank you again, Patti
Patti
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stevenkep
Thank you for that, Patti.  For the first time today, I cried when I read the part in your post when you talk about the special bonds that we have with our dogs, the bonds that cannot be replicated, not even with human relationships sometimes.  Yes, what we had with our dogs was indeed special.  But it need not end there.  We keep their memories alive, and without you lighting the eternal flame for your Monty, or Michele for her Onyx, or Julie for her Cody, or Zhanna for her Teddy, or Judi for her Bret, or me for my Ruffy, or Joe for his Pal, well...there really wouldn't be any point to carrying on in this wearisome world, would there?

God bless,

Steve
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codysmum102
I know personally that I will never be able to move on totally from this. I still am not able to smile when I think of Cody, still not able to watch the videos, still not able to go to bed and not be sad because he is not laying next to me. That's when it hits me the most. I think it's because when I'm up I'm able to do stuff to take my mind off of it but when I am alone in bed trying to turn my mind off to sleep it all comes back to me how he is gone and isn't coming back ever. He was my once in a lifetime pet. We were so connected and he is so deeply ingrained in my life and heart.  I know there will never be another animal that will be as special to me as Cody and to tell you the truth I don't want there  to be.
Julie 💔
"Grief only exists where love lived first."
--Franchesca Cox
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codysmum102
Dearest Cody,
I can't believe that it's been 11 weeks today since you left this world. Every day seems like the next. Nothing really excites me anymore. Part of it is probably due to not being able to go anywhere but mostly it's because I miss you. We have the kitties and I feel I did the right thing planning to adopt them. They aren't really the type that would get adopted because they hiss at strangers. After you are around them for awhile they calm down but I don't think alot of people would want to deal with that when they can get kittens that are friendlier especially if they have kids. But I don't feel a connection with them like I did with you. Maybe it's best if I don't though. You are and always will be my #1. My baby boy, my love. You were the best part of my life and that will never change.
Love you always and forever, 
Mommy
Julie 💔
"Grief only exists where love lived first."
--Franchesca Cox
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codysmum102
Dearest Cody,
I drove to the mailbox today and got a letter from a place called the Face Foundation. They help low income people pay their vet bills.  They said that VCA animal hospital made a donation in your name. They sent us a heart with wildflower seeds to plant in memory of you which I am going to do. That was super nice of them especially since they already sent the memorial statue. They must have realized what a super special boy you are. You were such a trooper no matter what procedures you had to endure. Everyone that worked with you told me what a good boy you were.  We miss you so very much but we know you are no longer in pain. You are the best dog ever baby boy. 😢
Love you forever and ever,
Mommy
Collage 2020-03-30 11_41_51.jpg  
Julie 💔
"Grief only exists where love lived first."
--Franchesca Cox
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Michelemh
That is really nice and so is the wind chime. The veterinary office sent this? Can you give me any contact information to the Face foundation? I want to give to someone on disability with a very low income who is having a surgery on his cat this week to see if they will help him with the bill.

Michele
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codysmum102
Michelle,
I looked on their website and I guess they just serve San Diego area. I'm not sure where you are but check this out.

https://face4pets.org/apply-for-assistance/

This a link to their webpage.  It has another link on it to other places that will give money to you if you are not in the area. Scroll down a way on the page and you will see an area that says:

Not eligible for financial assistance from FACE?

Here is a list of other organizations that may be able to help: 
If you click on the highlighted area that says Resources for Veterinary Expenses it will give you a . PDF you can download with a lot of other places that can help in other areas of the country. Hope this helps. 

Julie 💔
"Grief only exists where love lived first."
--Franchesca Cox
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stevenkep
Hi Julie,

That is a really nice testimonial to you and Rick from the Face Foundation. It must have been very edifying to see your Cody memorialized in the letter and by the donation made in Cody's name.

I don't know if I mentioned this before, but...and I still find it difficult to talk about her in the past tense, please bear with me...after the time came, my wife and I received a sympathy letter from Ruffles's veterinarian who made a donation in her memory to the Purdue University College of Veterinary Medicine. I recall that her vet said that we would be receiving something in the mail from the College, but it never came. Your post motivates me to follow up on it, as I, too, am thinking of supporting an organization or institution/foundation that will help advance the cause of kindness to animals.

Hope to see you at the Candle Ceremony tonight.

Steve
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Michelemh
Thank you. I sent the information. I don't know if it is too late. Her surgery is tomorrow. He applied for some assistance but I don't think it is much. He has to drive several hours to drop his cat off. He can't go in either. Then he has to sleep in his van with his other pets for one or two nights since it is too much to go back home and come back again in his old van.

Michele
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