I've been beating myself up all day thinking about last Sunday. I really didn't want to leave Dante to go to my parents' place but I did anyway. Why didn't I stay? Why didn't I spend the day with him? Now there will never be another Sunday to spend with him.
I feel so sick. I can't stop asking myself if I did the right thing. I feel responsible. I feel like I killed him. I keep telling myself it was his time, he was suffering, but I just keep replaying it in my head and I just. I don't know how to live with myself after making the decision to put him to sleep.
Maybe I just feel that way because I want so badly for him to still be here. I miss him so much. I wanna scream. I want to get in bed and never leave. It hurts so much. I want my baby.
3/19/2013 - 5/4/2018
You are gone, my special boy, but I will love you forever. R.I.P.