ChronicallyAce
I've been beating myself up all day thinking about last Sunday. I really didn't want to leave Dante to go to my parents' place but I did anyway. Why didn't I stay? Why didn't I spend the day with him? Now there will never be another Sunday to spend with him.

I feel so sick. I can't stop asking myself if I did the right thing. I feel responsible. I feel like I killed him. I keep telling myself it was his time, he was suffering, but I just keep replaying it in my head and I just. I don't know how to live with myself after making the decision to put him to sleep.

Maybe I just feel that way because I want so badly for him to still be here. I miss him so much. I wanna scream. I want to get in bed and never leave. It hurts so much. I want my baby.
Dante
3/19/2013 - 5/4/2018
You are gone, my special boy, but I will love you forever. R.I.P.
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xxcesarxx
RIP
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Mackysmum
It's horrible, i know I went though this aswell , after macky left i wanted the vet to bring him back , i even wanted to sleep on his grave or next to it cause i thought he's all alone and its raining and cold i had to protect my boy.
I'm so sorry your feeling so bad
You did the right thing for him it was the nicest thing you could of done for him as he was suffering and your his best mate so you had to let him stop suffering . Making the descion to put them to sleep is the hardest decision we make but how selfless is it. He loved you so much and you loved him so much you did the right thing honest .

Don't beat yourself up for not spending the Sunday with him you never knew he would go we don't think of this so we carry on with life like normal so it's not intentional and again he knew you loved him so much .
It's so normal to feel bad or guilty but it does pass once the thoughts gets clear we see things for how they are and it starts to be more rational .
Pm me if you need to chat im here
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ChronicallyAce
Mackysmum, thank you. I know you are right, but it will take some time for my heart to catch up with my head, I think. I just keep trying to remind myself how sick he was. He trusted me to care for him, and I know that this was the best for him, but it's so hard to let go when all I want to do is hold on to him. I would give anything for one more day with him, but maybe that would make it harder. I would always want one more day, one more day. No amount of days could be enough. I look forward to the day when I can see things more clearly, but right now there's probably too much sadness clouding my thoughts.
Dante
3/19/2013 - 5/4/2018
You are gone, my special boy, but I will love you forever. R.I.P.
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Ginger4256
I am going through the what-ifs constantly.  It won't go away.  I keep thinking of what I could have done.  It's pure torment.  You are not alone.  
Boo' s mommy
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Mackysmum
I understand its so hard I know in the very start it feels like you will die from pain .
I'm having a couple of bad days really thinking of the should offs and feeling sad , i have found grieving is like a wave or rollercoaster every day can be different.
Like you I wish I could have more time with macky , to cuddle him as he was my big bear and to cook his dinner and take him for his walks that he absoulty loved .
The hardest thing for me is accepting hes gone for ever that will take more time with me but that's ok because you can't erase such a long life we had together.
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