BorderCollieLover Show full post »
Mistysmama
"I feel sorry for this poor baby, but I just can't.  I could take in every unwanted cat I feel sorry for and have a cat hostel.  But...  if there is another cat, s/he will choose me, and it will be clear.
In the meantime, ugh, what do you say to people.
"

The people mean well. They want to see you mended, but they don't realise it, they are trying to "fix" your grief and mourning, in their own way. They shouldn't really do that. But they don't know they are doing anything amiss.
Grief and mourning is not an illness that has a "cure". It's not like a cold. It's something that lives with you, and slowly, gradually, changes the shape of you, in sweet remembrance of the loved one. I think it can bring us closer to Spirit in many ways.

I agree with what you say - "if there is another cat, s/he will choose me, and it will be clear."
That is what I have found too, over the years, to always work out. That is how I found my girl, who I now love still, years down the line
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
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BorderCollieLover
Ktmaier5:

  Thank You for your reply. Ellie was your world; your everything and you are not ready to open your heart and home to another dog right now. That shows how genuine your love and affection was for her. Although she couldn't talk Ellie felt the exact same way about you. Trying to reenact that right now with another dog wouldn't feel right. I think you are doing the right thing. When you are ready to accept the unconditional love of a (4) legged friend, you will know it. There's no timetable here. You mentioned that you might help exercise dogs at your local shelter. I think that's great.  It might even be therapeutic. 
I'm in the same boat. I can't let another dog into my life now simply because I'm still madly in love with my dog. I'm not letting that go right now. It was too special; too precious. My emotional bond with Shelby was on another level. 
Your Ellie was so very fortunate to have had someone like you as her human significant other. Our relationships with our dogs were consummated in Heaven. So pure; so genuine and, in a lot of cases, better than our relations with other humans.

Jim  
Jim Miller
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chilover
Bordercollielover

I totally get where you are coming from about not being able & wanting to get another dog! It just doesn't feel right, I get this!! I know some people do get another pet afterwards & understand that they may need that which is fine as we are all different, but I myself want to keep my 1 & only beloved dog 'Daisy' in my heart, & she has filled it so much there wouldn't even be room for another! She has stolen my heart & I would feel disloyal to her & disrespectful of what we had! I rescued her the following year after my dad died & we were a team! .She was my little baby & everything else all rolled into 1! A tiny dog with a whole lot of love! I know how special your bond was with you lovely Shelby and appreciate this..I can see what she was to you, your entire everything!!

I know that there are a lot of rescues out there needing a home & a loving companion, however, we pet owners who have loved and lost have to trust, listen to our hearts and trust our instincts in knowing that something is telling us we are not and may not ever be ready to share our hearts with another pet. I guess it wouldn't be healthy for us and not fair on the dog either. I would love to rescue all the dogs in the world as I love animals, but for my own health & out of respect for my baby I could never have another dog in my house, as far as I'm concerned, she owned it...I even feel depressed thinking that people will forget her and always want to talk about her..Pet grief is the worst, I've never known pain like it..It is so unpredictable & we are all blessed to have these forums..

Having our precious pets are worth suffering for because they are the most beautiful, loving, perfect, flawless creatures & we are blessed to have had them in our lives.

Sending peace and light.

Daisy's momma.
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BorderCollieLover
AllieGM:

Thanks for sharing. I don't think there's any doubt about it, your Boss was hoping that you would tak that kitten as your own. That means forever and you had major reservations about agreeing to a life-long commitment. Your heart was not into it. It didn't feel right. You will know when your next love has arrived. All the stars will be aligned. The karma will be present. I knew instantly when I first laid eyes on Shelby that she was the dog for me. We bonded instantly. We were together since 2002 and it was incredible. I have a lot of love in my heart for dogs but Shelby stole most of it back in 2002 - and she never relinquished it. It was a relationship consummated in Heaven.  It was meant to be. 
As far as people asking the inevitable, "When will I get another dog," it is becoming a little annoying. I'm getting it virtually everyday now. I'm in business for myself, so I can't duck all social situations. My standard response has been "you can't replace Shelby" but now has been changed to "I'll let you know."  I don't think there is any malice or bad intent associated with this question. It's just "small talk" within social interaction. 

Jim
Jim Miller
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