Gizmo
I had to make the hardest decision of my life to euthanize of baby boy Gizmo. He was diagnosed with a congenital heart problem two years ago. We were able to keep him happy for those two years using medications and having his abdomen tapped ever so often. On April 9, 2018  we had to euthanize him. We knew it was going to be time soon, but that day just came faster than expected. One day he seemed to be fine and the next he hardly had energy to hold his head  up. I thought that I was going to be prepared for it, but that was so not the case. I am really have a hard time coming to grips with this decision. We had a vet come to our home and had it done there, thinking that would be best. It has been very difficult for me to deal with. I am barely able to get through my days and some days are just horrible. I am trying to focus on his two brothers that we still have. The emptiness in my heart is so heavy at times it hurts and I feel I can not be happy.      Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated?    
Gizmo's mama 
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camunki
I am sorry for the loss of your Gizmo....and euthanizing a pet is one of the hardest things we have to do for our babies. Again, we are their caretakers and have to make the right decisions for them. We do not want our pets to live in pain.

This is all too fresh new and raw for you....the grieivng path does take a long time. Try to keep your Gizmos memory living on with pictures, paw prints, talking to your sweet boy.

Please keep posting, it truly takes away that alone feeling.

Cam


 
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Gizmo
Thank you for the reply. I am hoping being able to post here will help. I cry all the time wondering if I did the right thing by him. I did not want to be in pain and suffer at all. The one thing plays in my head is one of his brothers kissing his head as he laid there in one of his favorite spots. I loved him like he was my kiddo.
Gizmo's mama 
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Lamont
I keep thinking that if life were fair my cat would have lived a healthy, happy life of 20 or so years, then she would have died peacefully in her sleep. We would have grieved but understood that she had not been cheated out of one day, and that she had been spared of any terrible illnesses.

But that was not our story with Bertie. She came to us from the SPCA with a history of being a stray, and scooped up by the pound twice in her young life, then taken to the SPCA to be sorted out. She cleaned up really well, a muscular but compact girl, true to her Manx breed. Six months later at her first checkup they said she had a heart murmur, but she was a bundle of energy, and the best girl, ever. We lost her 6 years later to feline hyperthyroidism/congestive heart failure, 10 years short of a long life. The last few months were a roller coaster of vet visits, medication, and discussions on what could be done. Eventually she lost her fight, and we chose to end her suffering before it became unbearable. I know "We did the right thing.", but like you, we are so very sad to have lost such a special friend. 

I would feel a lot better about the whole euthanasia thing, if there was some way that our pets could truly understand. 

So many feelings to sort out, it will take time.

I wish you a better day tomorrow.

L
Bertie's Daddy
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Alicia_krypto
I just had to do this on Monday. I had never gone through this before in my life. I kept replaying that moment in my head over and over again. Did I do the right thing? Who the hell am I to alloy the vet to take my Krypto’s life away. What if I... and so on... honestly, I had 2 signs after this happened that helped me understand that yes, I did do the right thing, however, that doesn’t make my grieving process any better. The day after I had my krypto released of his pain, he came to me in a dream where he was so happy and pain free. The second happened while I was at work. I work in a orthopedic surgery office and one of my patients was telling me how she is in excruciating pain due to her arthritis. And all of the symptoms she told me she was experiencing was the exact same pain my krypto was in.... I know it’s hard to understand, but I know deep in my heart that we made the right decision. How selfless of us to release our babies from pain, even though that means they will no longer be with us? I will pray for you and gizmo
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catiebee
It's beyond heartbreaking to have to do. And I don't think there is anything on earth that prepares you for it. Just a stunning blow, and the pain lasts for a long, long time.  I'm very sorry you're struggling, grieving and having to find your way through all the feelings. All I knew to do was to keep expressing it with words, tears, whatever way I could let out the pain, disappointment etc.  

People here well understand and relate.

Wishing you much peace as time goes on. 
Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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Gizmo
Alicia_krypto wrote:
I just had to do this on Monday. I had never gone through this before in my life. I kept replaying that moment in my head over and over again. Did I do the right thing? Who the hell am I to alloy the vet to take my Krypto’s life away. What if I... and so on... honestly, I had 2 signs after this happened that helped me understand that yes, I did do the right thing, however, that doesn’t make my grieving process any better. The day after I had my krypto released of his pain, he came to me in a dream where he was so happy and pain free. The second happened while I was at work. I work in a orthopedic surgery office and one of my patients was telling me how she is in excruciating pain due to her arthritis. And all of the symptoms she told me she was experiencing was the exact same pain my krypto was in.... I know it’s hard to understand, but I know deep in my heart that we made the right decision. How selfless of us to release our babies from pain, even though that means they will no longer be with us? I will pray for you and gizmo



I feel you. This was a hard decision for me as well. I am coming to grips with the idea that it was what was best for my little buddy Gizmo as it was for your little krypto. As you said it doesn't make the grieving process any better. I am having better days but I still find myself crying at the strangest of times and places. I am still not wanting to be around many people because i do no want to pretend to me happy when I really am not.  I am pray for you as well. It is nice to have a place to communicate with others dealing with the same type of feelings and situations!
Gizmo's mama 
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Gizmo
Lamont wrote:
I keep thinking that if life were fair my cat would have lived a healthy, happy life of 20 or so years, then she would have died peacefully in her sleep. We would have grieved but understood that she had not been cheated out of one day, and that she had been spared of any terrible illnesses.

But that was not our story with Bertie. She came to us from the SPCA with a history of being a stray, and scooped up by the pound twice in her young life, then taken to the SPCA to be sorted out. She cleaned up really well, a muscular but compact girl, true to her Manx breed. Six months later at her first checkup they said she had a heart murmur, but she was a bundle of energy, and the best girl, ever. We lost her 6 years later to feline hyperthyroidism/congestive heart failure, 10 years short of a long life. The last few months were a roller coaster of vet visits, medication, and discussions on what could be done. Eventually she lost her fight, and we chose to end her suffering before it became unbearable. I know "We did the right thing.", but like you, we are so very sad to have lost such a special friend. 

I would feel a lot better about the whole euthanasia thing, if there was some way that our pets could truly understand. 

So many feelings to sort out, it will take time.

I wish you a better day tomorrow.

L


I am so sorry to hear about your little Bertie. I can sympathize with what you were going through. We too had a roller coaster ride of feelings, medications with our Gizmo. He was having to have his abdomen tapped multiple times a month and this was just not good for him. I knew he was getting tired I just really thought I was going to have a few more days with him.  I hope that you have fond memories! I am trying to sort out all of the feelings as well. Some days are better than others and then there are just those really really bad days. 

I will be thinking of you and your Bertie!

Gizmo's mama 
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Stasia
I am sorry you are going through this. The same thing happened to me last year with Sylvester - he was old and so he had a few health issues and it all caught up with him. After doing a little research, I decided it was time to say goodbye. It devastated me. He was 20. 20 years and the day I had dreaded his whole life was here and I was beside myself. But I had to do it for him, and so I did. I wish I could tell you that certain things help but honestly, I am still grieving his loss - hard. I have been depressed ever since and I've become "stuck." I haven't moved forward at all this past year. I changed some rooms around right before he passed and I still haven't straightened up the chaos from that. Everything I put in boxes so that I could move furniture is still in boxes. I can't seem to keep my house clean, bathe on a regular basis, or do anything. I have no motivation, no energy, nothing. 

I got another cat shortly after Sylvester passed bc I couldn't stand being in my house alone. And I am all alone. I have no husband or boyfriend, I have no roommates, I have no children. So, when he was gone, I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to do anything with him not there. It all was just wrong. So, I decided maybe another cat would be good. And it was...Hudson helped me through it but I am still depressed over it. I love Hudson, she is amazing and I am so glad she is there bc at least my home is a home again and not some dark depressing place...but, it doesn't take away the pain of losing my little buddy of 20 years. In fact, the only thing I am able to do is take of her and pay attention to her.

I have suffered from depression for a very long time so I have a therapist and I found this forum but I would love to join a pet loss support group however, I am having a hard time finding any that are still active here. 

I don't know what else to do. I keep waiting for it to "get better" like everyone says it does but I haven't felt that yet. So, I just focus on Hudson and try to force myself to do something everyday...just one thing. My therapist said that exercise helps so I told a co-worker to make sure I go for a walk everyday - just one. Its helping a little bit in the moment.  But I still cry when I think of him or when I look at a picture of him. I have his ashes in a box on a shelf with his picture, favorite toys, a pawprint and a fluff of fur. And still,k I cannot wrap my mind around the fact that I will never pet him again, or kiss him again. It still hurts so much. 

It has been the hardest loss I have ever suffered in my life. Worse than any person. 

I feel for you. I do. I know how awful it is. Hopefully, being here will help us all.
Stasia
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