Jscandle Show full post »
Thankyou for the responses I take into consideration everything everyone says to me I’m so very sorry for all of the losses we have all endured. And I pray and I pray.........What a bitter sweet day. I don’t kno what I’m feeling this morning. Just blah. I kno today is a happy day for us. Despite that it marks one week. And I think I’m feeling bad. Life goes on when someone passes. And it has me feeling some type of way. Last night I broke out again yelling for Juice. Screaming why why why. There is no exact pattern for grieving. And I feel like I’m back and forth all over the board I wonder if I’m being to hard on my self. I also feel bad for my self Juice left such an impact on my life. He loved me no matter what. And I loved him no matter what. I put my dog befor humans and I have never been this messed up from any death that has occurred in my life .... I am in agonizing pain at times. Almost physical pain. It’s making me sick. And when I do find my self progressing weather it’s just simply a mood. I instantly stop and guilt overwhelms me A friend of mine is a reiki master. If anyone has ever heard of reiki. More or less it’s a practice of healing simply thru words and touch. I reached out to her last night when I was struggling. Looking for some type of guidance. She said such nice things like she felt Juices presence when we wer talking about him and that he is always with me thru spirit. And he is going to be my family’s guardian angel. I couldn’t help but get hysterical. She offered to do a healing session on my Piper and I. She said dogs respond so well to it. I am open to trying as I am desperate to feel better and have the thought of Juice make me smile other than upset me to where it’s hard to function Also this wed I am going to attend a pet loss group session. I am really at witts end. And I am not anywhere close to my normal self anymore. I am suffering from a loss. And am so deeply hurt over it. A piece of me is gone. And I need to get it back We all miss and love you dearly Juice. I am so lost without you.
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You're completely normal, considering what you've been through, Jay.  The feelings from grief are unpredictable and come in like intense storms. 

Yesterday I was walking around yelling, too.  I kept hollering things like, "This is rotten rotten rotten rotten!!" and "I want her back!!!!!!" over and over and over. I'm alone so there's no one here to witness me going off.

I'll be semi-okay for a little while. And then I'm not. Not okay in any way, shape or form. This stuff is devastating to deal with and it takes such a toll on our hearts to hurt this badly and for so many awful emotions to hit us one right after the other or all at once.

I don't have experience with Reiki, but being with others who've lost their dogs can sure hold a lot of healing. And I wish that for you.

Hang in there today. You're not alone.
-Missing Marissa deeply
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