My family and I put down my sixteen year old dog Princess on Friday. I knew it was time but I wasn't ready to let her go but it was time. I'm glad she isn't suffering anymore but my heart still hurts so much. The only reason I think I feel better is because I no longer live at home with my parents which is where Princess lived. I think part of me is tricking myself into believing she is still running around the yard there. They live 5 minutes from me.

But I find myself now dreading and feeling physically ill at the thought of going over to my parents house now. I lived there most of my life, it's my home but now it doesn't feel like home. I don't want to go there. But I know telling my parents that will break their heart more than it's been breaking as their house is now so quiet. I don't know what to do. I think deep down I know once I return back to that house the delusion I've created is over that I'll have to face that she really is gone. I'm not ready for that.

We had Princess cremated and a little bit of her ashes are being turned into jewelry so she will always be with me but it's still so hard. I didn't want to let go of her at the vet office. Leaving her there was the hardest part. I carefully wrapped her up in the blanket she had that matched mine and her favorite toy to be cremated with her and I know she's at peace but I'm not. Part of me is also worried because the vet tech said that Princess might have been worried more about me when she was passing and now I'm scared I caused her stress during her passing.

Princess was my first and only dog, there is no other dog like her. She saved me so many times in my life and I just wish that their lives aren't so short. It honestly feels like part of me died with Princess.

I want my baby back.
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Hello Chelly,

I am really sorry to hear what happened to Princess, my condolences. We had lost our beloved Creamy last Friday as well to sickness. And same as you, I feel like a wreck right now. I want her to be with me again. One minute I am ok, the next I am crying again and again.

I wish I'd know what the right words are, but sadly I don't. All I know is that they are at peace right now, and at a happy place playing with the other animals. Stay strong, Chelly. We can do this for them.
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When I was about 18, long ago, our mixed spaniel, Copper had reached the end of the road. At 17 years or so, he was frail, and declining fast. He and my mom were connected at the hip, Copper adored her, and she him. She couldn't bear the thought of putting him down, so I gathered him up and took him to the park for a while, just to let him lie in the sun for a while, and when I picked him up to take him to the vet, I saw that he'd just stopped breathing. 

So many feelings and memories come back remembering him and what a sweet boy he was. We just don't get to have them long enough.

My sympathy to you and your family.
Bertie's Daddy
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