Lqte
My beloved dog passed away 3 days ago. She got sick about a week ago, everything happened so fast, it's hard to grasp this new reality. We visited several vets, they first thought it was an intestinal issue, then a kidney issue, the last diagnosis was a tumor in her pancreas that produced tons of insulin, draining her energy as a consequence (insulinoma).

The first medical treatments would not work and her symptoms began worsening. We ended up taking her to the vet hospital, where they would run tests on her and apply serum, she stayed there for 2 nights. We all thought she would make it, but it all took a downward turn.

The very day she died, we had an scheduled meeting with a vet, since she had worsened. Unfortunately, an hour before we went there, we received a call:  they told us that she was suffering a heart attack, they were trying to stabilize it, but that we should get there ASAP. As we rushed into the car and drove, we received the final call, she had died, and we were not able to be with her when it happened.

Afterwards, one of the vets told us that the previous night she was in such pain that she would howl ( as if she were calling for us, maybe?). This sent chills down my spine since I later learned that around the same hours of the night, strangely, all of my family members and I were wide awake, unable to sleep and thinking about her, as if we were all synchronised or connected.

Needless to say, this loss has been devastating, the thoughts of her suffering alone and probably feeling abandoned are horrible. She was only 6 years old and filled with life and love. Have you felt any similar feelings of guilt? And if so, how have you dealt with them? Can you share some advice?

* Sorry for the length of the post and my English
* I'll include a pic so you can see how beautiful she was 

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Mar
I'm deeply sorry for your loss..its very hard and such a tremendous pain that I know you are going through..I lost my beautiful Pixie,  a month ago, it hasn't been easy I miss her daily ,she also had a heart attack. She was happy and seemed to be healthy was hospitalized and on meds  with in 5 days she was gone. I cry, and miss her daily!. You did everything that was in your hands to save your baby ,she knew how much she was loved, and still is because they live in us ,they never leave our hearts or minds.  Write your baby a letter ,how blessed  you were to have her in your life,your feelings ,your thoughts etc. It's helped me ,journaling helps a great deal. I have my baby Pixie urn ,I put flowers next to her and I lit a candle and pray for her and for peace and comfort for us that stayed behind. What a beautiful picture of you baby. You take good care of yourself and it's ok to cry  let it out.  I will keep you in 🙏🌈🐕🐈💔Take carel
Blessings 
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Mar
Also this is a good place here in the forum, great people, that understand what you are going through..it's helped me. 
Blessings 
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Pecan_mom
I’m so sorry for your loss.  I feel your pain and I’m sorry that you had to go through this.
our beloved dog Pecan passed away just over a month ago on March 20th.  She was a happy and healthy Cockapoo and was only 9 when she passed away.  She was my soulmate, my best friend, my confidant, my walking/hiking partner and my therapy dog for 9 year.  I work from home so she was with me 24/7 even shared a pillow every night.  She was healthy all day on March 19th until things changed around 6:30pm when she pooped on the couch and she has never done that before. My husband took her out she had a big poop again and she came back and went in the cave she had under our dinning table and wasn’t moving.  I got her out so she took up.  Took her for a little walk she seem ok but tired.  My parents came home and she started wagging her tail for them.  She came in had water and some food even jumped on the couch to sit beside me.  She seemed fine but my daughters and I had a bad feeling so I called a few vets.  They told me it’s a good idea for her to be seen but we can keep an eye on her for a few days.  One vet told me don’t worry just take her to her own vet and it’s not life threatening.  I stayed with her all night and didn’t leave her for one sec.  until around 2:30 in the morning things changed and we rushed her to the emergency but she passed away as soon as we put her on the bed so the vet didn’t even get a chance to check her.  They told us it could have been heart attack, stroke or even cancer.  I was so shocked I was screaming and hitting myself for over 30 minutes until my daughters who were not doing well either took me out. She was so good and perfect how could she go so fast and quietly.

i was a mess for over 3 weeks crying all the time and blaming myself for her death.  So many what ifs, I should haves and maybes.  So many different scenarios.  Until I started talking to a grief therapist.  Other vets and found this page and other support groups.  Now I still miss her and cry everyday and the guilt comes back some days but I know in my heart and I am 100% sure you were the same.  I did everything for Pecan and treated her like my daughters.  I truly believe we all go when it’s our time to go and no one has control over it and the same rule applies to our pets.  I have also learned that when our animals love us so much and are loyal to us sometimes they purposely hid their illness so they can spend more time with us.  Please don’t blame yourself and know that you have done everything for your dog and she knows that.  She’s still with you and loves you unconditionally.  
Sp
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Amararata
Lqte: What a lovely dog....she howled for you...how absolutely heartbreaking! I'm so sorry for your loss. I recently lost my animal spirit twin and I cry everyday. She had an undiagnosed kidney problem that my vet didn't catch that  I think developed from her second rabies vaccination shot.

Pecans Mom: I feel so guilty everyday as well, I miss my girl so much. I blame myself for what had happened to her as well. I wish there was a device where dogs can tell us they are in active pain or at least where we can connect to their minds and see what is happening with their health. I missed so many signs that my dog was ill, and I blame myself because I should've known from all the other signs what was going on.
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