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Vickie

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Tomorrow Sunday the 18th it will be 5 months since my babe
had to go.I still go through why?.Josie had been with the same vets
since being a puppy.There was some thing wrong with josie but the vets were incompetent.I will never forgive them has long has i live.I know i can
not turn back the clock but it does not stop me from wishing that i had not signed that form.I should have found another vet to get a second opinion.
Maybe i would have found out what was causing her to pass out.Its all maybe's.I am looking at Josie's photo & her ashes you know it is all so is wrong.
This is the first time in ages that i have cried.I can only hold on to the fact that at least josie was home with me not in the vets.I miss & love her with all my heart.
Vickie

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Janine

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Reply with quote  #2 
I know how much you miss your beloved Josie. I know (and feel also) the same type of guilt and second-guessing you go through. I wish you had gotten better answers from your vet, Vickie. But I do believe you made the right decision at the time. I don't believe they would have told you it was hopeless if they thought there was anything that could be done. I know that doesn't take away the pain and sorrow you feel at your loss. I feel it too for my Katie every day. Thinking of you this Sunday on Josie's five month marker.
Your friend,
Janine



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Vickie

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Reply with quote  #3 
Janine thank you.i know you understand & are a real friend.
Your katie means the same to you.I really thought i had come to terms with
it but it has come back to bite me.I raked the back garden was putting leaves on the field when Tommy his dog is Toby come up to me & pretended
he did not know about Josie.I had to go back to the day so it all came flowing back then he said have you thought about getting another dog.
Told him no & got the usual.I come in shaking i thought i was going to have
a heart attack.My heart was pounding i must admit it frightened me.
The hate i feel towards the vets.It has stunned me.
luv vickie
ps/ No luck on the farm reminds me stuff might be ready to pick usually
forget & its wilted

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wallysmom

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Reply with quote  #4 
Hi Vickie    I wasn't coming around here much 5 months ago but I so understand how you are feeling.    My heart goes out to you!   Go easy on yourself.   

Nancy
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Vickie

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Reply with quote  #5 
Hi nancy thank You.I know i am beating myself up
over josie & i try not to.Have just had a nice hot bubble bath.
That should calm me down.Him on the field surprised me thought him
of all people would have known better than to mention about getting another
dog.Is words not mine there is no way i will have another pet not the way i
feel it would be unfair.
luv vickie
   xxx

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Janine

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Reply with quote  #6 
Awwww, Vickie, so sorry Tommy upset you like that! Many people ask me too, will I get another.  I think they're trying to help.  But it would be like asking a mother who lost a child if they'd have another baby...it hurts because you know there's no replacement ever for what you lost. Please don't be upset though, I worry about your heart racing like that.  I know it's a bad day when the memories come flooding back. The second guessing will cause so much pain, it does me... You made the decision you had to make for Josie not to suffer, I truly believe that Vickie.  (((( hugs ))))

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I love you forever Katie Kitty.
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Vickie

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Reply with quote  #7 
janine it frightened me.Think its stress.I have calmed down.
I know people mean well but i am not like them.The last dog he lost
they went out & got Toby.I am not saying its wrong but at the moment there
is no chance.Nothing will replace Josie.I think some people are thoughtless.
I know people who have lost pets & would not dream of saying to them have you thought about getting another.Josie was not a piece of furniture.
Im shutting up its setting me off.Take Care
Luv Vickie
    xxx


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Janine

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Reply with quote  #8 
I would never suggest that to anyone either, my dear friend.  Your Josie was one of a kind. There is no replacement  She is with you forever in your heart.  Wishing you peace and happy memories of your beautiful Josie at this difficult time.  xoxo

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jasminesmom

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Reply with quote  #9 
Vickie, I am so sorry for your loss. I truly understand your feelings towards your vet, guilt over not getting a second opinion. My Jasmine (9/95-9/09) went in 7-07-09 for a slight leakage problem (other than that she was healthy), was given ProIn to take, and after I ingested her with the first dose, immediately became ill, but I trusted my vet. After 5 days on this deadly drug, Jasmine was in kidney failure and suffered until I sent her to The Rainbow Bridge 9-04-09. I should have changed vets when mine told me 'she had never heard of any side effects from this medicine.' My heart, like yours, is broken. The void will always be there and I'm told it gets better with time. As I go thru my daily life, so many reminders, so many tears have fallen, so much guilt. I have peace of mind knowing Jasmine is no longer in pain and sad. She is at peace running, playing and eating waiting for me.
Please take care Vickie. You will be in my prayers.

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Cheryl and Angel Jasmine
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Vickie

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Reply with quote  #10 
Jasmine i am so sorry on your loss.I have never heard of that drug.
I think most vets are in it for the money.I will never know what was wrong with Josie.I have got to learn to live with it.Yesterday was bad but today
seems a bit better.It seems to get easier but i think we learn to live with the pain.At first i could not talk about josie without crying now i can but some times it all comes back & bang.I call mine a roller coaster maybe one day i
will be able to get off it.Like you i know josie is free.I have her ashes at home
they give me some kind of comfort.I talk to them has if she is here.There is a
photo & she is giving me a right look.She was sick of me taking photo's it was
2005 christmas.At least i have them & my memories.Hope you find some peace.
Luv Vickie
    xx

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jasminesmom

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Reply with quote  #11 

FYI: ProIn is given for incontinence. Used to be Dexatrim, a diet aid, that was removed from the market for it was causing young women to have strokes. Now, it causes dogs to have strokes, seizures, stop eating.


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Susie_Squillions

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Reply with quote  #12 
Dear Vickie,

I'm so sorry your sorrow has returned, and the doubts along with it.  As I read through this thread, I saw that you were starting to feel a little bit better, and I'm glad to hear that.

Our animals can't describe their symptoms to us, and it's in their nature to hide them for as long as possible.  That makes it extra hard to diagnose them compared with diagnosing human conditions.  I understand your doubt and anger, and I hope you will be able to resolve it.  I am sure your vets wouldn't have let Josie go if they had known of anything that they could have done for her.

As far as adopting another dog is concerned, of course there's no way you could replace Josie!  That's not what adopting again is about. It's about opening your heart and home to another who needs a loving forever home.  It's about loving again.  It's about trust and faith, two lessons that Josie taught you well.

I often think of it this way:  When a close friend moves away, we miss them and wish they were still with us. At first we compare other friends to the one who has moved, and it makes us miss the distant one more.  At some point, we settle in with a new friend and start getting out and about again, going to galleries,  movies, or dinner together, and sharing our secrets again.  Suddenly, we discover we're having a good time and we start to see the value in the new friend for who she (or he) is, and not because of comparisons to the friend who moved away.  We still think of the distant friend, and we still love them and miss them, but the heart has grown to accept this new friendship and to treasure it just as deeply, although not in the same way.  We learn that having more than one friend is a good thing, in spite of the fact that we resisted it at first.  It's the same thing with our animals.

Josie would want you to find happiness again, and to make a new friend to spend your days with in her absence.  As a matter of fact, she spent her life teaching you the skills to be a great dogmom!  She doesn't want those lessons to go unused for the rest of your life.  When the time is right, Josie will guide you to the perfect new friend, and she will remain firmly snuggled in that part of your heart that was hers all along. Your heart will grow to make room for the new one.  It's a wonderful feeling when it happens, and an even better feeling when we realize that our distant best friends are still with us, just as close as ever in our hearts.

I'm sending you virtual hugs to get you through the difficult days, and prayers for continued healing and comfort.



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My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)

"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley

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In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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