Dear Vickie, I'm so sorry your sorrow has returned, and the doubts along with it. As I read through this thread, I saw that you were starting to feel a little bit better, and I'm glad to hear that. Our animals can't describe their symptoms to us, and it's in their nature to hide them for as long as possible. That makes it extra hard to diagnose them compared with diagnosing human conditions. I understand your doubt and anger, and I hope you will be able to resolve it. I am sure your vets wouldn't have let Josie go if they had known of anything that they could have done for her. As far as adopting another dog is concerned, of course there's no way you could replace Josie! That's not what adopting again is about. It's about opening your heart and home to another who needs a loving forever home. It's about loving again. It's about trust and faith, two lessons that Josie taught you well. I often think of it this way: When a close friend moves away, we miss them and wish they were still with us. At first we compare other friends to the one who has moved, and it makes us miss the distant one more. At some point, we settle in with a new friend and start getting out and about again, going to galleries, movies, or dinner together, and sharing our secrets again. Suddenly, we discover we're having a good time and we start to see the value in the new friend for who she (or he) is, and not because of comparisons to the friend who moved away. We still think of the distant friend, and we still love them and miss them, but the heart has grown to accept this new friendship and to treasure it just as deeply, although not in the same way. We learn that having more than one friend is a good thing, in spite of the fact that we resisted it at first. It's the same thing with our animals. Josie would want you to find happiness again, and to make a new friend to spend your days with in her absence. As a matter of fact, she spent her life teaching you the skills to be a great dogmom! She doesn't want those lessons to go unused for the rest of your life. When the time is right, Josie will guide you to the perfect new friend, and she will remain firmly snuggled in that part of your heart that was hers all along. Your heart will grow to make room for the new one. It's a wonderful feeling when it happens, and an even better feeling when we realize that our distant best friends are still with us, just as close as ever in our hearts. I'm sending you virtual hugs to get you through the difficult days, and prayers for continued healing and comfort.
My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)
"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley
BUDDY GUY AYRES~LYNCH'S RESIDENCY:
KING BING THE GOD CAT'S RESIDENCY:
In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery