DeeDeeDee
I just had my beautiful 16 year old Maltese, Daisy, put down.  I don't know how I am feeling.  The tears come, and then I am ok.  I questioned whether I was doing the right thing.  The Vet agreed with my decision. She had a large cancerous tumor on her little muzzle.  I am home now.  It feels so strange in my house.  I was so used to her being around.  I will take my pain and deal with it, rather than having let her live with pain and unhappiness. It was just her time to go.  I know she is in heaven with Jesus and running all over the place.   Thank you for letting me vent.
Denise
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MAlcindor
My deepest condolences for the loss of your beloved Daisy. The decision to help our little ones pass is one that I have not experienced but whichever way they pass I know the deep pain that is felt. I still cry every day for the loss of my babies. The empty house is one of the worse things to have to get used to. They become such an integral part of our daily lives that we miss them in everything we do. You did what a loving compassionate parent would do, you did not want her to live in pain. Please know that she is still with you and watching over you. Everyone here understand your pain. Come and write here as often as you need to, it is very therapeutic. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.
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Indiana_Andrea
DeeDeeDee wrote:
I just had my beautiful 16 year old Maltese, Daisy, put down.


I am so sorry upon the loss of Daisy, Denise.  It sounds like you did a very courageous thing by helping Daisy over the Rainbow Bridge.  My kitty, Mistletoe, has been gone for 11 hours and I'm struggling. I felt a lot stronger at 4am this morning, when we got home from the emergency vet with his little body, but now this afternoon I'm feeling very fragile.  No sleep and no food probably have a little bit to do with it, I suppose.

Our Mistletoe was 16 years old also, just like your sweet Daisy.  Where DID those years go, eh?  I just blinked and they were gone.

We'll all help each other get through this..... in baby steps, one at a time.

~Andrea
They never live long enough....
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DeeDeeDee
Thank you Marlin and thank you Andrea for your kind words.  I cried reading them.  I offer my sympathy to each of you on the loss of your fur babies.  Actually, I think we all know going into this that the day will come when our babies will leave.  It's the way life is.  God Bless us all and give us peace and comfort during this tough time.    Denise

 
Denise
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Indiana_Andrea
DeeDeeDee wrote:
Actually, I think we all know going into this that the day will come when our babies will leave.  It's the way life is.  


So very very true, Denise.  I'm at that point, not even 24 hours out, where my head knows but my heart just isn't willing to accept yet.  Thank you for God's blessing.... I'm going to need it tonight especially.... right about 11pm cst onward, until about 4am cst.  :-(  

Lovingly, Andrea


They never live long enough....
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DeeDeeDee
  Andrea,  My husband and I haven't had a full nights rest for about a year and a half.  Daisy would wake us every night to go out.  Then the task of trying to fall back to sleep, only having to get up at 6:00 for work.  Ugh !!  I am  6 hours out.  Feeling weepy and alone.  It will pass.  I know it will.  Have to work tomorrow.  Did not, and won't share with my work friends that Daisy is gone.  Their hugs and  " I'm so sorry". would only make me cry.  So....I think I'll wait until Monday to share my sad news.  Hopefully I won't feel so vulnerable 5 days out.    I hope you get a good nights sleep.   Denise
Denise
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Indiana_Andrea
DeeDeeDee wrote:
  Andrea,  My husband and I haven't had a full nights rest for about a year and a half. 


Dear Denise.... this email made me smile.... NOT because I thought it funny or humorous.... but because I always stand in amazement how much "animal people" really are alike. xoxo

My precious Mistletoe has had to eat every 2 hours, round the clock, or he would vomit.  And once he got the "vomiting cycle" going, it was very hard to get it to stop.  We never knew the cause of this.  For the last several years my husband would take the 11pm & 1am feedings and then I would take the 3am feeding onward.... until 11pm that night again. Mistletoe stopped being able to eat hard kibble back in 2012, near his 10th birthday, and could only tolerate turkey breast that I would cook for him... along with some canned food.  If his vomiting got really bad I would have to resort to tiny bits of tuna fish or baked chicken breast or sometimes even baby food... and in that case he would have to eat hourly.  I have not slept more than 4 hours per night in a very long time because I too... most of the time... could never manage to get back to sleep after that 3am feeding.

If I would have told this to a "non-animal person" they would have looked at me in amazement and thought surely we were looney!!  To be honest, even our vet sometimes wondered how (or why) we could do what we did for this one precious soul.  But we never considered it odd.  It was simply something we gladly did in order to keep Mistletoe alive and feeling fairly decently.  I feel so blessed to be able to share it here and know I will be understood.... and even have others who give up sleep and think nothing of it.

It is now 11:55pm on Wednesday night.... I've been up since Tuesday morning, having got no sleep last night due to getting home from the emergency vet near 4am with precious Mistletoe.  Sleep was not to be last night and it feels that way again tonight although I can't believe I'm still conscious.  But my husband and I have gotten so used to surviving on little sleep that I fear it has become a part of our lives now. This frightens me because I know that surviving on little sleep is not good for anyone.  But the pattern might be set.  We'll have to wait and see.  We have an appointment at 9:30am tomorrow to take Mistletoe to the crematorium so I suppose I should be trying to get a few winks... although I don't want to lay my head down.  In a little over two hours it's going to be the 1 day anniversary of Mistletoe's death and I somehow want to be awake to commemorate that and "remember".

I totally understand about you not wanting to tell co-workers about Daisy.  I would do the same.  I pray you are sleeping now and will manage to get through tomorrow with minimal tears.  It's so hard.  I'm afraid my heart takes over my head, so reasoning with myself is a futile attempt.  I know things will get better with time... they always have... but right now that goal is far from my radar.  It doesn't even seem like a possibility that the sun will ever shine again.  Your words of "weepy" and "alone" fit perfectly!!

Many hugs of understanding and love to you~ Andrea


They never live long enough....
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DeeDeeDee
Hope you are sleeping well, Andrea.  My everyday routine with Daisy is now gone.  It's Saturday night.  Date night for my husband and I.  I would feed Daisy after we got home from 4:00 mass.  I would bring her food upstairs with me while I got ready to go out.  Now there is no food to bring up, no Daisy in my bedroom with me, no letting her out before we leave, making sure she peed and pooped.  UGH !!!  It's just so strange.  Just venting.....  D.  
Denise
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MAlcindor
Our lives do change so drastically, that's what makes us feel so empty. No more doing anything for them. 
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DeeDeeDee
Empty..... That's a very good description of how I feel, Marlin.  I'm 3 days out.  I know it will get better.  This is my third time around.  Both times I had my doggies put down I got another dog a week later.  Now my third time having Daisy gone there is not other doggie replacing her.  We haven't been able to travel much or be out late in a long time.  Always had to get home for the doggie.  So....  my new "mantra" is "Suck it up. Denise."  
Denise
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catiebee
I'm so sorry for your grief, Denise. People here understand very well how deep the hurt runs and how long it last. It's very difficult getting used to the new normal. Hope you're taking good care of yourself while the pain is so fresh.
Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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