Pipers_mom
Hello.  I am new here.  I lost my sweet greyhound Piper last year on Christmas night.   She slipped away in her sleep.  We knew something was going on with her and had been working with our vet to try and figure out a diagnosis but were not able to do so in time. There was no sign that her death was imminent.  We woke up at 4 in the morning and she was gone.  I know many people wish for these circumstances but I have had a really hard time coming to terms with the fact that I did not know her time was near and she died alone.  How could I not have known?

Now a year later, I am really struggling as the anniversary is approaching.  I have always loved the holidays but this year, I wish I could just fast forward through them.  I miss her so much.  I feel like I am always on the verge of crying.  When I am alone, I often do cry.  I don't want to be a downer to those around me but I also don't want to put in the fake happy face either.

What have you done to get through the tough times?

Pam
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Scottmisseslittleboy
Hi Pam,
Anyone worth having in your life won't expect you to be an "instrument of joy" to them. They will take you as you are. So be your self however you may be.

My "little boy ", a 30 pound Maine Coon cat succombed to genetic kidney disease about two months ago. He and I held on for each other, (he was looking like he was going to make it and then all of a sudden not) until I had no other options than blood transfusions every week, and I would not think of making him suffer for me. And if I could have given him one of my kidneys so he could live, I would have.
I won't lie, I have been incredibly tormented since he passed away. That cat loved me and I loved him and he gave me reason and purpose in this life. Now I wept alot, mostly to myself missing the little guy. I will always love him.
Holidays are no different than other ways that we keep track of the space between night and day. I think one of the reasons we are so close to our furr babies is that they have mastered living in the now. They love us unconditionally and never said a mean or careless word to us. They LIVE and they LOVE.
So, in answer to your question, I guess I try to do something kind even if I feel too depressed to do so. Or don't feel like it because I am pissed off at Death and would really like to smack the poop out of the old Grim slimeball. Or whatever.

There is a saying: "If you are depressed you are living in the past
If you are anxious you are living in the future "

But I understand your feelings, maybe,
So, hey, I wish you peace.
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Idahosmom
Hi piper's mom. Welcome to the forum, where everyone understands the grief of losing a very special love. I'm so sorry for your loss and that you were not there to hold Piper in your arms as she passed. I wasn't home when my baby boy Idaho died. My husband drove him to the emergency room and by the time I met them there, he was already gone. I was devastated that I didn't get to say goodbye to the love of my life. But my sister told me that Idaho meant it that way, that he wanted to spare me; he knew I would not be able to cope if I had been there at that moment.
I'm sorry to say that Christmas is going to be extremely difficult for you, just as it would be for many of us. I hope you surround yourself with other loved ones during this time, especially those who understand what you're going through. And we're here, your forum friends.
Thinking of you and Piper this holiday season.
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pattycake_
Keeping you in my thoughts. I just lost my pet rabbit who I had for about 9 years after a surgery that went well. I am so lost as to what I am going to do this holiday season without my bunny who was always there right next to the Christmas tree. I hope that you can find peace, maybe through this forum. Happy holidays!!
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lostlittleboy
We lost our 4 year old lurcher, Buddy, two weeks ago in an accident (he ran into a fence at full speed chasing a rabbit).
I feel that last two weeks is more like two years - as he meant so much to the whole family, especially during the holidays because he was spoilt more than usual (he got more presents than everyone else in the family).

But I realise the reason for this is because he was loved by everyone, we're still talking to him, looking at his pictures, sharing memories (I even wrote some really awful poetry about his favourite activity; running) and my wife is thinking of getting a collage of pictures together (there are more pictures taken of him than anyone else) to be framed.

Whilst I could easily be consumed by guilt, rage at the fence he walked/ran/sprinted past every day or just shunning the holidays; at the end of the day, the feelings of sadness is a reflection of the happiness you had together.

In both our cases, you have to admit that they passed away doing exactly what they loved doing...

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