lili_c1010
It's been exactly 1 week after Cookie - Shih Tzu (16yrs) has passed on 07/03/2020. I thought I am feeling much better but today just reminded me on what happened last Saturday and I totally broke down. It's really difficult especially when I still need to go to work during this period. 
Cookie, mummy miss you so much. I wasn't even with you when you left. You were probably in too much pain to wait for me to arrive. My life now will never be the same without you. The house is quiet, no more having you walking  or following me around the house, trying to get my attention to be petted or hoping for some treats to be given to you. Don't see you lying flat on the floor anymore. I used to joke around saying that you look just like a rug when you lie flat on the floor. You will always rest your head on my lap or my arm when I hug you to sleep. You will never stop loving me even though I scream at you sometimes and truly I really didn't mean to. I have always loved you since the 1st day I brought you home and I will continue to do so. I believe you are in a better place now. You will always be in my heart until we meet again on the rainbow bridge.

Love
Mummy
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Buddy_Mama
Oh Lili, I’m so sorry for your loss of Cookie. I understand everything you’re feeling. I too lost my sweet Buddy a week ago tonight, and it still doesn’t seem real. Losing our fur babies is the hardest thing to deal with. They depend on us, they give us unconditional love, and that’s why it hurts so much. I hope you continue to share here, and benefit from the support and understanding that everyone offers. Sending you hugs...
Cindy (Buddy’s mama)
My baby Buddy 5/4/10-3/7/20, rescued March 2011
My sweet Mandy 11/27/91-11/2/10, rescued November 1992
My beautiful Barney 4/28/73-9/7/92, adopted May 1973
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Gmr
I'm so sorry for the loss of cookie.  I lost  my Peanut (shih tzu) of 14 yrs in Nov. I'm in the sadness phase now and sometimes get angry that she is gone. Sometimes I can't stand that she is not here. I need her so much. Just retired and moved to an appt. She seemed to like it here. Why did she have to go after 6 mths living here. I'm all alone. I know everything you are feeling. So much about them is missed. They are such precious babies. Hugs to you.
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lili_c1010
yes. cookie and i just moved to our new place too about 4 mths ago. i feel so bad coz of my work, i had to travel to outstation every other week and had to send her to d pet hotel during this time. and each time i had to leave her there for 6 days. this routine has been ongoing for 1 year. i didn't realise her condition was so bad until she seized at d hotel while i was away last week and i can only be back on Friday night. my sister's friend helped to send her to the hospital on thurs and found out that she actually had kidney failure.  toxic readings were high. they tried treating with fluid therapy and all. but cookie couldn't make it and left before i can even be at the hospital on Saturday. my heart hurts like hell. why am i so careless and didn't notice that she was in such a condition.  why did I have to leave her for so long. i am so mad and heartbroken.
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lili_c1010
when i recalled,  it seems like she doesn't want me to know she's unwell. she has been acting quite normally.  it does feel make me feel a bit better when i think of it this way and if it's true. coz she truly loves me n hope that she will leave without me being too heartbroken watching her going through all the suffer. i didn't witness any of her medical procedures. im also glad that she's been healthy her whole life. it's just so unbearable to not see her around anymore
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codysmum102
Lili,
I am so sorry that you lost your precious baby Cookie.  Animals are good at hiding their illnesses.  It is instinctive because in the wild if an animal shows weakness they can be in big trouble.  I moved into a new house in the middle of September last year and Cody, my bichon, passed on January 11th.  Part of the reason we moved is because we living in a 2 story house and he was having trouble going up and down the stairs.  He didn't get to spend much time here in our one story where he could roam the whole house because there were no stairs to navigate.  It's been a little over 2 months used to greet me when I came home. I called him my white shadow because he followed me everywhere.  He was my confidant, best friend, my baby boy and my love.  I miss him so much.
Julie 💔
"Grief only exists where love lived first."
--Franchesca Cox
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lili_c1010
in real life it just feels like no one understands me..don't really know who can i talk to about how i really feel now. i don't feel right to keep talking about it to my friends. im so glad that this forum exist. it helped me to really address my feelings. with support i get frm all of you, makes it slightly easier to get through.  hope that you guys are getting better too
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Anitha
So sorry for your loss. My baby Kitty went to rainbow bridge last sunday. I feel you. Its heartwrenching. You can connect with me anytime to talk about your furbaby. I am here to support you and all pawrents. Huggs💕
Nita
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lili_c1010
20141116_215223 smaller.jpgthis photo was taken 6 yrs ago. to me u always look as good ,as young and as pretty. i love u cookie. 
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codysmum102
What a precious baby girl.  Thanks for posting that picture.
Julie 💔
"Grief only exists where love lived first."
--Franchesca Cox
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Buddy_Mama
Oh Lili, Cookie is so beautiful! What an amazing picture! Like Julie said, thank you for posting it. I think it brings us all closer to share our babies' photos, so others can enjoy their beauty and how special they were. I hope you're having a better day today. One hour at a time...
Cindy (Buddy’s mama)
My baby Buddy 5/4/10-3/7/20, rescued March 2011
My sweet Mandy 11/27/91-11/2/10, rescued November 1992
My beautiful Barney 4/28/73-9/7/92, adopted May 1973
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lili_c1010
she's a real sweetheart. just by looking at her melts my heart and always put a smile on my face. my feelings are very complicated and comes in waves. i do feel better if i have some distractions like movies. when i think of the silly things that she does, makes me feel some comfort too. but when i miss her, it feels really terrible. tears flowing, and it's difficult to concentrate during work. i read that these are the stages of grief but i don't know if i will ever get better coz it just doesn't feel like it. i wonder if it's really normal. 
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Buddy_Mama
Don't worry Lili, everything you're feeling and going through is completely normal. I feel those waves too. I wish I could fast-forward life to many months from now so I would be feeling better, but none of us can. All we can do is ride this rollercoaster of grief and hang on, and hold on to those happy memories...
Cindy (Buddy’s mama)
My baby Buddy 5/4/10-3/7/20, rescued March 2011
My sweet Mandy 11/27/91-11/2/10, rescued November 1992
My beautiful Barney 4/28/73-9/7/92, adopted May 1973
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lili_c1010
yes. hang on to those happy memories. you too. it does help when im able to do that. hope it works for you as well
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lili_c1010
i saw an old post which I think every paw parents will benefit from it during this heartbreaking period. ive copied the link

https://forums.rainbowsbridge.com/post/coping-with-grief-10108748?pid=1310985199

hope u guys will get through better with this
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