Maz67

Hello, I am new here and posting because two days ago I found my 14.5 year old cat Benji had passed away. He wasn't ill and there was no warning. I was a total mess for a day after that and am still sad today, though less traumatised, and the house is quiet without him.

To cheer myself up today I went to the cat sanctuary just to browse potential new companions for my other cat Anna. I fell in love with one of the cats and considering adopting him, but feel as if Ia disrespecting Benji's memory in a way because it is so soon.

To put it in context, Benji was not an easy cat to live with and although he had his moments and I loved him, my bond with him was not as close as some of the other cats I have had. I am feeling a little bit guilty really because I am not grieving more after 14 years with him. Also to say the new cat looks and behaves totally differently from Benji and I don't intend the new cat to be a replacement.

Sorry for the long post, but I wondered if there was a 'right'time after a loss to consider a new pet. What are others' experiences and views?
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Charlies_Mom
Maz67:

Please there is no right amount of time to pass after a loss to consider a new pet. Benji has directed you to the new cat that needs to be adopted. He wants this new cat to have a loving home as he did with you. Benji wants Anna to have a friend. Do what you feelings tell you too do. Benji is still with you at the rainbow.

I am very sorry for your loss, I understand your feelings. I adopted a dog only 1 week after I lost my german Shepard but I felt she wanted me to give this dog a home he needed. It was Charlie and I am so glad I adopted him. He was older dog but became my best friend for 5 wonderful years. Sending hugs.

Charlie’s, Bargin and Short Cakes mom
Breckie
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LindaDwyer
there is no right or wrong time to get another pet, you will know when the time is right, don't feel you are replacing the lost one , one does not replace another but it makes a new place of its own.  

 Four years ago I lost my beloved bengal cat to cancer.  He was 12 years old.  He was so bonded to me that when I left him alone he'd pull out his hair, I took him to the vet and the vet said it was just stress and to get him a kitten.  I got him a siamese kitten, I used to joke that he left me for "another woman".  When he passed the siamese was devastated, she'd look for him constantly and cry, and even try to get outside to look for him.  The Christmas before he passed my daughter had a large oil painting done of him for me, I have it on the wall but couldn't bear to look at it so I turned it around.  That year for mother's day my daughter and son in law bought me another bengal kitten, he wasn't born yet but they had put a deposit on him and I got pick of the litter.  The siamese was overjoyed to have another kitten to love, as time went on I turned the picture around so I could look at him once again.  This time with fond memories of him and the time we had together.  This year for Christmas that same daughter bought me another bengal kitten, this one is a snow.  At first the siamese didn't like her but after a few days everyone adjusted to her being here and they are all happy and run around playing together.  I still have his picture hanging up and I like to think he's watching over the others.

Will you get over the loss?  Not entirely, you will always think of the one you lost but having another will help lessen the grief,  Think of it this way, he's physically gone but he lives on in your heart and memories. He'll always be with you.



He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion"
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CoulsonMom
I had to send my 2 year young baby to the rainbow bridge on Jan 5th. He had a little “brother” by way of a feral kitten we brought into our home. Coulson, my kitty, loved that kitten. They would play, eat, sleep, and lick each other. None of us humans have been able to pet him, so we were thrilled he had Coulson to love and get the physical love he won’t allow us to show him yet. We are going to get Spook a new brother. He tries to cuddle up with my daughter’s boy, but her boy wants nothing to do with Spook. We know Spook needs another friend, so we are planning on adopting him a boy who’s at least a year old and fostered with other kitties. I knew, right away, that Spook would need that. I also knew I couldn’t do it right away because it felt like I’d be replacing Coulson, and betraying him. I’m getting used to the idea of a new kitty because I know Spook needs a buddy. I’m still in pain over Coulson. The feeling of betrayal, however, is finally leaving. You will know when the time is right. And you never know, God may place a kitten in your path. All but 2 of the cats I’ve had in my life have been foundlings. The other two were adopted rescues. Be patient with yourself.
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