Stephanie_k
The day before Christmas Eve I had to suddenly and unexpectly put down my beloved cat Luna. She was only 5 years old. I still feel so lost and I literally know what it feels like to have your heart break into a million pieces. She was my baby. She was never in a room without me, she was right by the door every day I came home from work waiting for me, she was on my lap the second I sat down, she came to me the second I called her name, she slept with me every night, she loved my kids just as much as I do, she was truly one of a kind. Now there is a hole in my heart. I can't seem to adjust without her. She started vomiting one day and I figured she just had a stomach bug and she would be fine, then she stopped eating and I had no idea that if a cat stops eating after 24 hours there is a major problem and they can die without food within 2-3 days. I rushed her to the animal hospital after 3 days and he did blood work. Said he liver count was high and gave me antibiotics. $400 later I went home and tried for a day to give it to her and she still wasn't eating. Another 50$ for a pill to make her eat that she would just throw up. I took her to another vet who told me we could try IV fluids but there's a likely chance she wouldn't recover. I feel sick to my stomach with guilt that I didn't have the money to try to save her, even though they said the chances of her recovering were slim. I have never cried so hard in my life making the decision to end her life. I wasn't ready, I wasn't expecting any of this. I still feel like I'm living in a nightmare I can't wake up from. I should have done something sooner. Everyone just looks at me like "it was just a cat get over it already" but they have no idea the bond I had with her. I know my time with her would one day come to an end. But not 5 years. This was really long and thank you to whoever reads this. I know you all know this pain I'm feeling now. God bless
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JDUB
Stephanie,

I'm sorry for your loss. Almost 4 weeks ago, I had to put my Shadow down. She had been my baby for 14 years. My most faithful companion ever. I felt a world of guilt because she trusted me when I drove her to the vet only to be betrayed by me. I know it was the right thing to do to end her suffering but it hurt horribly. The few days after, I wanted to scream and cry and felt guilty all at the same time. It is awful. I know your pain but you are not alone. Time WILL help a little bit with each passing day. Take care
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camunki
hi Stephanie, i am so sorry for the loss of you Luna, and her being only 5 y/o makes it that much worse. I know the feeling, i had a dog who passed away at 4 1/2 y/o and i felt she was "shorted life".

You have to remember, you did everything that you could for Luna, and the vets even said there was a likely chance she would not recover. Same thing with my dog Dakota, they did $4,000 plus worth of work, and the last resort was to put her under sedation, for a biopsy, but the vet said she was so weak she would probably die in surgery.....i felt like i still "should have taken that chance to do surgery", cuz "what if" she lived. I know alot of us have guilt, the what ifs, the could haves and the should haves.......in the end, its so hard to accept the fact that our beloved pet, just like a child is gone, physically...and that hurts......I had to make the choice to end her pain, and i did....and alot of guilt consumed me, but in time, i knew that i did the right thing for "her", not for myself.

You are still grieving, and the path of grieving is a long and hard one. There are many compassionate people on this site who know what you are feeling. Please know you are not alone & keep posting, it helps!!

My sincerest sympathy....(((warm hugs)))....Cam

Cam


 
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Stephanie_k
Thank you JDUB and camunki for your responses. It know it's going to be a long hard road ahead. Thank you for your support
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JerseyNonna
Stephanie, I am so sorry for your loss of Luna.  I think we all wish we had more money to help our babies in their time of need but I have learned that sometimes all the money in the world won't keep our loved babies with us in this realm.  sometimes the problem is a much deeper one where nothing at all but for the decision we all made could have been done.  having done a lot of soul searching these past few days especially (bad bad days for me), I realize that as there is a season for everything that includes a season where our beloved fur-babies are called back home by God.  have to believe that too since if I didn't i'd be slipping down that deep dark hole of an abyss and that is not what Roxie worked so hard with me all these years for me to do.

please know there are good days we have along with bad days; we will still try to find our beloved friend in our homes, in their favorite places, remember their personalities and even the silly tilt of their heads if we said "want a treat?".  also know this is a place full of the most compassionate and loving folks I have ever been blessed to meet and get to know, albeit under other circumstances would have been a lot nicer.  I wish you many warm thoughts and prayers and many hugs today.
JerseyNonna
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