MissingBoonie
Hello,
Like everyone here, I had to put down my 9 year old, first born chihuahua Boonie, on Thursday. Last week I noticed he was a bit disoriented and we took a trip to an emergency vet which was pretty useless. My regular vet squeezed him in last Saturday and did full blood work and X-rays. The good news was his blood work was perfect! The bad news was he had a heart murmer (which I know is common) and a slipped disc. Luckily my vet gave us some prescriptions and we went home to spend a wonderful week together!

Wednesday night we snuggled and I went to bed as usual. Thursday morning I woke to him coughing and laboring to breathe. My heart sunk, I remembered the vet saying signs of heart disease being exactly what he was showing. We rushed to the vet and after an hour in an oxygen chamber and X-rays showing his fluid filled lungs, I knew the choice I had to make.

He died in my arms. His breathing was weak and suddenly he was quiet. I've never cried so hard in my 30 years of life. My heart is broken and my whole body aches for him. I'm filled with guilt...how did I not know he had a murmer and heart disease?? Did he suffer all night before I woke up?? Was he scared??

I have my other two chihuahua babies here with me and they are sad as well. I feel sick with grief. I know I made the right choice and it will get easier but I'm dying inside. I've posted memorial pictures on my Facebook page, ordered memorial jewelry, have a custom urn for his ashes....yet nothing can comfort me.

I know no one here can make me *poof* all better but any advice, prayers, or kind words are greatly appreciated!

Xoxo, Boonie's Mom
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goldenbuny
I am so sorry for your loss of Boonie. I am going through the same thing. I had to have my cat with kidney disease to sleep yesterday. I also feel guilty, like I should have done something more. Just try to remember that you cared for them the best that you could and try not to beat yourself up about it. Good thoughts and prayers your way.
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Gertie
MissingBoonie wrote:
Hello, Like everyone here, I had to put down my 9 year old, first born chihuahua Boonie, on Thursday. Last week I noticed he was a bit disoriented and we took a trip to an emergency vet which was pretty useless. My regular vet squeezed him in last Saturday and did full blood work and X-rays. The good news was his blood work was perfect! The bad news was he had a heart murmer (which I know is common) and a slipped disc. Luckily my vet gave us some prescriptions and we went home to spend a wonderful week together! Wednesday night we snuggled and I went to bed as usual. Thursday morning I woke to him coughing and laboring to breathe. My heart sunk, I remembered the vet saying signs of heart disease being exactly what he was showing. We rushed to the vet and after an hour in an oxygen chamber and X-rays showing his fluid filled lungs, I knew the choice I had to make. He died in my arms. His breathing was weak and suddenly he was quiet. I've never cried so hard in my 30 years of life. My heart is broken and my whole body aches for him. I'm filled with guilt...how did I not know he had a murmer and heart disease?? Did he suffer all night before I woke up?? Was he scared?? I have my other two chihuahua babies here with me and they are sad as well. I feel sick with grief. I know I made the right choice and it will get easier but I'm dying inside. I've posted memorial pictures on my Facebook page, ordered memorial jewelry, have a custom urn for his ashes....yet nothing can comfort me. I know no one here can make me *poof* all better but any advice, prayers, or kind words are greatly appreciated! Xoxo, Boonie's Mom
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Gertie
I am so sorry for the pain you are in. You can't blame yourself for Bonnie's death. I had the same experience in Jan. My 11 year old kitty Myles was put to sleep on a Sunday morning, I thought it was his asthma flare up. But when I took him to the vet he had congestive heart failure. His lungs were full of fluid. I had no choice, I put him to sleep. I blamed myself for not knowing my baby had a heart murmur. I blamed the vet. Then 6 months later I had to put my 9 year old Lhasa to sleep.

Sadly I know your pain. It is going to take time to grieve. I have no words of comfort, just write about your baby. know he loves you and is watching over you.
If you need someone to write to I am here.

Hug's to you... Duncan & Myles Mom.
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MissingBoonie
Thank you for your kind words. I've read everyone's story and it brings me great comfort knowing I'm not alone and that there are other people who are losing more than 'just a pet'.

I put him down Thursday and I just feel an overwhelming ache in my heart for him. I luckily have two others so I'm not alone at home but it just feels different.

I suppose it brings comfort just to speak out about him!
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heartsick

 

 

I am so very sorry for the loss of your  sweet precious Boonie.

Grief is awful and there is nothing else like this pain.

I am divorced - when I was married I buried my son- at that time I became a Certified Grief Counselor- I used the same graveside service for my Bear as I did for my son.

Please know that when we lose someone we love we don't stop loving them -

 LOVE NEVER DIES.

The soul bound connection that is between our babies and ourselves is forever.

Nothing - not death- tears -grief - or sadness will ever break the ties between us for those ties are made of LOVE so strong that NOTHING will ever sever those connections.

LOVE NEVER DIES.

When we grieve for those we love it is because we do not quite know how to live without them. We breathe because we have no choice but the living part takes a huge amount of learning and time.

Grief is not something we get over but something that we learn -slowly- over time- to incorporate into our lives until it becomes a part of us like our bones and our breath.

Please know that we all understand here and we are all here for you.

We are all in this together and all walking the same roller coaster path of grief together -

some a bit ahead of you, some by your side, and some will come behind for you to help along.

Grief takes time. It usually takes the whole first year of “firsts” without them to take a true deep breath again. Be kind to yourself. None of this is easy.

I am here for you.

We are all here for you and we care about you and we understand.

You Are In My Thoughts.                                      

Susan(heartsick)

 

 

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Lety
I am so sorry, I wish I can make it all go away, but I can't , sometimes it feels like it is all a dream and we can't wait to wake up, it is going to get better, trust me, the pain never goes away 100% but it will get better with time, I will have you in my prayers, please find comfort knowing that your Beautiful baby is in the comfort of God's arms, and it brakes his little heart to know Mommy is sad.



Baby Nacho, one month today my love, it's been pretty hard and can't stop crying today, but I am so happy you get to be in the arms of God, please be patient my love, we will be together for ever again one day. Love you!
Lety
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