IndysMom
I lost my Indy 4 and a half months ago. He was only 5 months old and we don't know for sure what happened. i noticed his back legs seemed to be bothering him. He had an x-ray done and he had a swollen disc in his back. He was an English Mastiff puppy and he was clumsy. He tumbled down the driveway going after his ball so I figure that's what happened to his back. He was given medicine on Tuesday and Thursday morning he was dead. I knew he wasn't feeling well Wednesday night so I slept on the floor next to him. I went to wake him up in the morning to go outside and he was cold and hard. I was in complete shock. I didn't even cry until I had to say the words out loud. I had done everything I was supposed to and I some how failed him. I had never bonded with a dog as quickly as I did with him. The second I looked in his eyes, I knew we were meant to be together. I picked him up, he let me cradle him like a baby and he put his paw on my face and just stared at me, the connection was instant. I have not been Ok at all since his death. I started drinking every night so I could sleep and to numb the pain. It was so traumatic for me to find him that way. I had waited over 4 years to get another dog after my previous baby died. I still don't understand why he was taken from me so soon. He had made me the happiest I'd been in years and he started to heal the broken parts of my heart. I don't know how I will ever get over it. 
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