In a couple hours it will be 24 hours since Mistletoe's spirit left this earth.  And my heart is shattered in a million pieces.  I can still see him laying in his usual spots inside the house here and sometimes when I turn my head quick I think I see him going around a corner.  16 years is a long time to have someone laying by your feet... or looking at you with eyes of love.  My precious Mistletoe was my shadow.  He found contentment in nothing else except being by my side and looking into my face.  I really was not worthy of his unconditional love and devotion.... not as pure as his was.

In about 20 minutes it will mark the moment I first saw Mistletoe dragging his back legs... and then the spiral began, which ended in his death via euthanasia a mere 90 minutes or so after that.  It happened so fast!

I know all the things my head *should* know:

~He was 16 years old and lived a good long life.
~Passing away quickly was kinder and more merciful to him.
~There was no way he could have gotten better or pulled out of the issues he was having.

... and all that jazz.  But there's absolutely no connection between my head and my heart yet.  All I know is that I miss the best friend I ever had and I want him back with me.... and I don't know how I'm going to take my next breath or my next step without him.

I love you, my boy.  Please watch over me, Mistletoe, and somehow... if you can... let me know you're near.

They never live long enough....
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I am so sorry for your loss. Friday will mark 3 weeks without my Rookie and my heart often has still not caught up. When you spend so much time with a good friend it is so hard to comprehend their (physical ) presence being gone. I wish you peace in the coming days.
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I am very sorry for the loss of your sweet Mistletoe. I can relate to what you wrote there on all the "jazz" which is all true but not felt right now. It is extremely painful to lose a beloved one, even when we know that their time has come. With my beloved Max I knew but still, the moment it happened I lost it completely. It will take a while until the "jazz" is heartfelt, so know we are all here for you to dry your tears.

My good thoughts and wishes are with you
Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)


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I understand that pain. I remember vividly even three weeks later my kitty’s final day. How she went from fine that morning to deteriorating by that night and that fateful decision to help with their suffering soon after.

It’s okay to feel this way. It’s okay to think about the what if’s. It’s natural. I’m pretty sure we’ve all done it. I do it still sometimes but as the days have passed I look back and feel relieved on how she passed. Peacefully with me and not prolonging her and making it worse. Although my heart still aches to feel her curled against me again.

I understand. Our stories are so similar with how quickly it happened despite us both knowing their age. But our beloved furry friends and family could live fifty years and I’d still say it wouldn’t be long enough.

It sounds like you two were very close. Your baby was lucky to have you for so long. 💕 You gave that sweetie a good prolonged life full of love and joy.
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