Elly
Cinder doesn't understand where Raven is . They've been together for 15 years, they are indoor only cats,and suddenly Ravens gone. How can I console her ?All she does is meow and looks everywhere for her. Its so hard having to Euthanize a sick pet. I miss her so much too

E. Hickson
Quote 0 0
Jcunnane
Elly wrote:
Cinder doesn't understand where Raven is . They've been together for 15 years, they are indoor only cats,and suddenly Ravens gone. How can I console her ?All she does is meow and looks everywhere for her. Its so hard having to Euthanize a sick pet. I miss her so much too



Hi Elly,

I’m so sorry for the loss of Raven. It’s the most painful, awful, heart wrenching experience of having to say goodby to your beloved baby. We had to say goodbye and help our Bubby (a ginger tabby) cross to the rainbow bridge exactly 3 weeks ago today. He would have been 10 at the end of July. It’s just a horrible horrible thing to have to do. I had a very hard time walking away from my baby after he was put to sleep. Knowing I’ll never hold him again just brings so my tears to my eyes and the giant lump in my throat. We are lucky to have Bubbys littermate Lola. Like Cinder, she’s grieving. The longest they were apart from each other since the womb was 3/4 days each time he had to go to the hospital totaling 7 days probably. She was with him til we took him to the vet and I made sure they gave each other kisses and licks on their faces. I guess I knew in my heart he wasn’t going to come home. We didn’t know at that point. We thought it wasn’t a big deal.

The day we had to say goodbye to Bubby, I held him for a while before the medicine. I gave that shirt to Lola. For weeks she’s been laying on it. Today is the first day she isn’t. I truly think it helped her. She went looking for him. Stared out windows and our skylights and just looked around with a blank stare for a few days after he didn’t come home. He was our protector especially hers. So if you have anything that smells like Raven, maybe it will help. I’ve been giving Lola extra attention, making sure she plays. I tell her he will always love her. It’s really hard to watch her go through it.

I hope you find comfort here as I have. There are a lot of truly wonderful people who have helped me through this difficult time and continue to do so. They help put a smile on my face or even reassure that we did everything we could have for Bubby.

Sending you tons of hugs and Cinder too,
Jackie

Bubby's (Milo) Mommy - Always & Forever My Little Man 💜

Quote 0 0
Jan_H
Hi Elly,

A few weeks ago I had to say that final good bye to my sweet boy, Jagger. Like your cats, Jagger and Tiger were together indoor for 15 years. Initially Tiger didn't eat much (shocking for him) and followed me around a lot. He still likes to be in the same room with me almost all the time. But he is back eating normally. I left the basket with old towels and sweats that Jagger used to sleep in all the time. Tiger seemed to find some comfort in that. I think you just need to give Cinder some time.

Jan
Quote 0 0
Elly
Thanks Jackie and Jan for your posts. I wish I had something that Raven used to sleep on but she was such a strange little kitty, She always slept on the Wall to wall carpet or the bare floor. I tried to get her to sleep on the Love Seat or in a basket or box but she wanted no part of that . She sat on my knee every day and I combed her and she fell asleep with her head buried in my hand.So I have nothing I can give to Cinder. She was just ready to die. She weighed 3.4 pounds .Far less than half the weight she used to be.
 
   Im so sorry for your losses. !           

E. Hickson
Quote 0 0
Jcunnane
Elly wrote:
Thanks Jackie and Jan for your posts. I wish I had something that Raven used to sleep on but she was such a strange little kitty, She always slept on the Wall to wall carpet or the bare floor. I tried to get her to sleep on the Love Seat or in a basket or box but she wanted no part of that . She sat on my knee every day and I combed her and she fell asleep with her head buried in my hand.So I have nothing I can give to Cinder. She was just ready to die. She weighed 3.4 pounds .Far less than half the weight she used to be.
 
   Im so sorry for your losses. !           



Hi Elly,

The comb! The comb you combed her with. I did this with Lola. I showed it to her and she rubbed all over it. Cinder will be ok. I know it’s so hard to watch especially while you’re grieving. Just show Cinder extra love and that’s what will help get through this difficult time.

Hugs,
Jackie

Bubby's (Milo) Mommy - Always & Forever My Little Man 💜

Quote 0 0
Memories_of_Marmalade


"The comb! The comb you combed her with."


BRILLIANT JACKIE! Well done!!

XO,
James
Quote 0 0
Jcunnane
Memories_of_Marmalade wrote:


"The comb! The comb you combed her with."


BRILLIANT JACKIE! Well done!!

XO,
James


Thanks, James! Hopefully it will help. I actually found Bubby’s fur from the last time I combed him (a few days before his passing) so I was able to show that to Lola too.

Hope you’re hanging in there. Thursday’s are not our favorites 😢

Hugs,
Jackie

Bubby's (Milo) Mommy - Always & Forever My Little Man 💜

Quote 0 0
Elly
I combed Cinder this morning . She sat on my lap which she doesnt do all the time.I did pick up a lot of Ravens fur upstairs this morning ,she as always pulling it out. I saved it so I'll show Cinder and see if she reacts to it. Its so hard because Cinder has been going downhill lately ,shes almost 19 and our Vet is helping us keep her alive as long as she isnt suffering. I expected Cinder to be leaving us soon, but not Raven. 
E. Hickson
Quote 0 0
Memories_of_Marmalade

Dear Elly & Jackie,

When I was reminiscing with Marmalade before they put him to sleep, in the little, side examination room, about all of our adventures together the past 3 years, (although he couldn't hear me that well as he was almost completely deaf), he was staring at me the entire time, which he never did, with his one good eye. And I tried to appear calm and happy for him. I had prayed not to cry in front of him that evening, as he did not like the Animal Hospital at all, and I didn't want him frightened even more, and I was able to hold it together, thank God. 

Towards the end I joked with him that I was going to take some of his hair and "Have 100 clones of him made!" I think he would have gotten a kick out of that joke. Lol. As he was so silly sometimes, like all of our beloved's.

James
Quote 0 0
Jcunnane
Memories_of_Marmalade wrote:

Dear Elly & Jackie,

When I was reminiscing with Marmalade before they put him to sleep, in the little, side examination room, about all of our adventures together the past 3 years, (although he couldn't hear me that well as he was almost completely deaf), he was staring at me the entire time, which he never did, with his one good eye. And I tried to appear calm and happy for him. I had prayed not to cry in front of him that evening, as he did not like the Animal Hospital at all, and I didn't want him frightened even more, and I was able to hold it together, thank God. 

Towards the end I joked with him that I was going to take some of his hair and "Have 100 clones of him made!" I think he would have gotten a kick out of that joke. Lol. As he was so silly sometimes, like all of our beloved's.

James


James,

Funny you mention clones and love your story, btw. I would have a clone of Bubby if I could, although I know it would not be “OG Bubby”. The brain is dangerous.

The grievance counselor mentioned Cuddle Clones. They’re stuffed animals made to look like your pet. She said a lot of people in her support groups have done this. She was a bit weary before bringing it up since some people may find it odd but she said it helps people like me who are having issues of their fur babies not physically being here.

Anyways here’s the link. A tad pricey but some are done really well.
https://cuddleclones.com

Bubby's (Milo) Mommy - Always & Forever My Little Man 💜

Quote 0 0
Jcunnane
Elly wrote:
I combed Cinder this morning . She sat on my lap which she doesnt do all the time.I did pick up a lot of Ravens fur upstairs this morning ,she as always pulling it out. I saved it so I'll show Cinder and see if she reacts to it. Its so hard because Cinder has been going downhill lately ,shes almost 19 and our Vet is helping us keep her alive as long as she isnt suffering. I expected Cinder to be leaving us soon, but not Raven. 


Elly,

I wonder if she finds it calming now? Having Ravens smell. Glad you were able to find some of Ravens hair. It’s really hard trying to help another animal grieve. They can’t speak so you’re never sure what to do. 19! That’s an incredible life. I hope Cinder is doing ok.

I know it hurts because Raven was young. I think it makes it harder sometimes. You just never expect it. My husband told me this quote...

“The flame that burns Twice as bright burns half as long”

Hugs,
Jackie

Bubby's (Milo) Mommy - Always & Forever My Little Man 💜

Quote 0 0
Elly
Jackie ,I held the fur near Ravens face. She didn't seem to care and turned away.Seems the only thing that seems to help her is sitting on my lap or being next to me on the couch. Other than that, she just continually meows ,and paces around looking for Raven. 
Cinder gets a Urinary Tract infection almost every couple of months. Our Vet gives her a Convenia shot and that usually gets her through another few months. She has been a gentle, sweet ,gorgeous cat. Part Maine Coon , my friendly giant baby. ,BUT I realize all good things must come to an end . I just didnt expect to lose Raven as well. 
As I'm 85 I know there wont be anymore pets for us. I cant imagine how empty this place will feel.  

Raven was such a lot of work, with her crippled hind end . She would use the litter boxes also Poop and pee on our wall to wall rug, take her soft food out of the dish and eat it off the floor,Pulled out her fur, growled at company, includes family, but always greeted us when we came home. She would put her paw up on our leg.Had a little of everything I ate, spaghetti , meals ,sandwiches, ice cream. Plus ate her vet food.Life will never be the same ...
E. Hickson
Quote 0 0