I wish all the lovely people in this forum, the new ones and the old friends a wonderful Christmas time.
Some may have lost their beloved ones just a few weeks or even just days ago with a pain so immense that it seems nearly impossible to concentrate on anything except the numb and empty feeling inside, disbelief and maybe guilt. Did I do the right decision at the right moment, did I care enough and all those questions that seem to haunt us.
As time passes, we slowly learn to live with the pain and doubts and it does become possible to integrate the loss and we feel at peace with our inner self again. The wound is still there but it healed in some way. We do realize that all the memories of joy and happiness will stay on forever, that they enrich our lives until one fine day we will be reunited once again.
Christmas time is a beautiful time, a time of family get togethers, a time when all people out there seem to be a bit friendlier. It is a time of candle lights and shining stars, a time of gifts, a time of joy and above all a time to remind us that the Lord Jesus is reborn to once again renew His message of what love is all about.
And as it is a family day we also miss our beloved lost ones so very much more than we already do on normal days. So a certain melancholy seems to be sitting with us at the Christmas table as we become aware of the empty seats of the sometimes many who cannot be with us anymore.
This is my first Christmas without Max, without my love, without my Onliest.
Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)