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Chinadoll

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Reply with quote  #1 
It took awhile for me to reach this point, to be able to talk about my lovable friends. I miss them dearly, every day. Words to explain how much I love them are difficult to express, just like everyone here. We all just take it one hour, one day at a time dealing with our grief as best as we can. I'm a different person now, better for having loved them and fulfilled by the love they showed me.  I've learned many truths about life, but this lesson surpassed them all. Live in the moment, cherish each day, love without conditions.

Nicky was very sick from neglect when we rescued him, so tiny, mixed terrier. He grew up to be a very strong healthy dog, the smartest dog I've ever had. He could do anything, follow multiple commands in one sentence, protector, and raised two orphan cats and one very small Chihuahua. He was the 'strong' one, no fear, and so gentle with the others. He rescued me from a medical condition, one that I saw no escape from, at the end of my rope, he refused to let me give up. He brought me into the light, restored my hope and I am eternally grateful to him. We had to let him go at 17 1/2 years, CHF finally wore him down. He fought so hard, as I knew he would, but in the end, he laid down in his favorite bed and was at peace as the home vet helped him cross over on April 27 of this year, 3 months after Chinadoll had passed. 

China was with us for 10 1/2 years, when we got her she was 9 oz and so weak she could not stand up for more than a few seconds. She would become my 'heart dog', a term I wasn't familiar with before. Her back legs both had a luxating patella, one worse than the other. She learned how to compensate, it never slowed her down, she was the most loving dog I have ever seen. She picked me to bond with and what a bond she created. She slept every night on my shoulder and chest, she showed affection and a sweetness beyond normal. She never barked, she loved every living creature she met, she would run to perfect strangers as if they were long lost friends. She was with me every moment I was home, a true lap dog, her eyes were so beautiful and deep, she touched my soul with each look. I retired seven years ago and was able to be with her each day, what a blessing. I had polio when I was 2 and have worn a leg brace since. I related to her problem, I guess, and my bond was deepened. I helped her in every way that I could, but in the end, she helped me far more. She passed away on January 12, this year. She was diagnosed with a 'slightly' enlarged heart last August and was on medication. On that morning, she awoke and had a rasping sound in her breathing. I took her to the vet as a 'walk-in', they put her in an oxygen tent. The next 3 hours she became worse, I would only see her once, for a few seconds, as she began to die. I do remember looking into her eyes, she was so peaceful, as if she knew, and tried to comfort me at that moment. My healing will be life long, I am forever grateful for the gift, for the love, I received so much more than I could ever give, I am changed, but so much more for the better, even with the grief. Life looks different to me now, my heart is so much softer, I am touched by every post on this forum, I share the pain so easily now, I simply 'understand'. 

So many people on this forum have helped me without even knowing they did. I thank you, from my heart. Don and Vera and Bella have been an inspiration to me, and I will be forever grateful to them. I have a few pictures to post, of Nicky and China. Nicky grew to be 15 lbs, China peaked at 3 lbs.

[image]

[image]

[image]

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The cat in the picture is Noel, he passed away last November, he loved China so much, a sweetheart.

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Charlie
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PeanutWee

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Reply with quote  #2 
The grace and love you've shown in your words shines through their little faces in the photo's. I feel so humbled, the losses you and your wife have faced in such a short time along with your wife's health issue, your soul is so steadfast...truly you are a wonderful person and your family so fortunate that you are theirs.

I wish for you peace for your heart and soul. May the love of your loves surround and sustain you for you are so deserving.

Sincerely,
Peanut's Mom

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"Sometimes even the smallest things can take up the most room in your heart"
-Winnie the Pooh

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Chinadoll

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Reply with quote  #3 
Thank you for such kind words, I know what a difficult time you are going through and yet you take the time to reach out to others. Your words are so comforting, You humble me in turn. I pray for peace and comfort for your family, as most of us have said 'this is a truly difficult and painful process we have to go through'. I think more of the happy times now, but it is still a day to day process. I have petted one dog, my daughter-in-law's toy poodle but it is not an easy thing to do. My blessings to you.
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Charlie
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Bullymom

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Reply with quote  #4 
China and Nicky were very lucky dogs, having found such a loving home to fill with their love. And you were very lucky too having their company for so many years. I'm sure they are all together and feeling your love now.
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William

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Reply with quote  #5 
Chinadoll:
Awesome pictures. They capture a very happy life.
Your post was so well written. Such a tribute to your babies.
I'm sorry for your losses. But what a fantastic job you all did taking care of each other.
Kim🐾🐾💕❤️

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Chinadoll

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Reply with quote  #6 
Bullymom and Kim, thank you for your sweet words, it means so much, it helps. It was the best of times. Blessings to both of you.
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Charlie
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lissab

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Reply with quote  #7 
What An adorable bunch! I'm so sorry for your losses, thoughts and prayers are with you.
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Lisa
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Chinadoll

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Reply with quote  #8 
Lisa - 

I went to your post and read your story about Zakk. I can't even fathom what you have been through in your effort to care for him during those 4 plus years. What you did to help him and fight for his life demonstrated the amount of love and passion you have for Zakk. When that bond is completed, and it can happen so fast, we will do anything to help them, and you certainly did. We all have our personal beliefs, and I know he is looking over you, he knows the extent you went to for his sake, he knows how deeply you loved him, he knows you did all you could do. The last nine months of Nicky's life my wife slept on the floor with him, we took shifts, because of the meds he was on. I am so sorry the good times were so short, but God bless you for being there, he needed someone like you, and you were the one. I know how much you miss him, and I do pray for peace and comfort for you. Your story demonstrates what people will do when that 'love' happens in your life.

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Charlie
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MyBella

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Reply with quote  #9 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chinadoll
It took awhile for me to reach this point, to be able to talk about my lovable friends. I miss them dearly, every day. Words to explain how much I love them are difficult to express, just like everyone here. We all just take it one hour, one day at a time dealing with our grief as best as we can. I'm a different person now, better for having loved them and fulfilled by the love they showed me.  I've learned many truths about life, but this lesson surpassed them all. Live in the moment, cherish each day, love without conditions.

Nicky was very sick from neglect when we rescued him, so tiny, mixed terrier. He grew up to be a very strong healthy dog, the smartest dog I've ever had. He could do anything, follow multiple commands in one sentence, protector, and raised two orphan cats and one very small Chihuahua. He was the 'strong' one, no fear, and so gentle with the others. He rescued me from a medical condition, one that I saw no escape from, at the end of my rope, he refused to let me give up. He brought me into the light, restored my hope and I am eternally grateful to him. We had to let him go at 17 1/2 years, CHF finally wore him down. He fought so hard, as I knew he would, but in the end, he laid down in his favorite bed and was at peace as the home vet helped him cross over on April 27 of this year, 3 months after Chinadoll had passed. 

China was with us for 10 1/2 years, when we got her she was 9 oz and so weak she could not stand up for more than a few seconds. She would become my 'heart dog', a term I wasn't familiar with before. Her back legs both had a luxating patella, one worse than the other. She learned how to compensate, it never slowed her down, she was the most loving dog I have ever seen. She picked me to bond with and what a bond she created. She slept every night on my shoulder and chest, she showed affection and a sweetness beyond normal. She never barked, she loved every living creature she met, she would run to perfect strangers as if they were long lost friends. She was with me every moment I was home, a true lap dog, her eyes were so beautiful and deep, she touched my soul with each look. I retired seven years ago and was able to be with her each day, what a blessing. I had polio when I was 2 and have worn a leg brace since. I related to her problem, I guess, and my bond was deepened. I helped her in every way that I could, but in the end, she helped me far more. She passed away on January 12, this year. She was diagnosed with a 'slightly' enlarged heart last August and was on medication. On that morning, she awoke and had a rasping sound in her breathing. I took her to the vet as a 'walk-in', they put her in an oxygen tent. The next 3 hours she became worse, I would only see her once, for a few seconds, as she began to die. I do remember looking into her eyes, she was so peaceful, as if she knew, and tried to comfort me at that moment. My healing will be life long, I am forever grateful for the gift, for the love, I received so much more than I could ever give, I am changed, but so much more for the better, even with the grief. Life looks different to me now, my heart is so much softer, I am touched by every post on this forum, I share the pain so easily now, I simply 'understand'. 

So many people on this forum have helped me without even knowing they did. I thank you, from my heart. Don and Vera and Bella have been an inspiration to me, and I will be forever grateful to them. I have a few pictures to post, of Nicky and China. Nicky grew to be 15 lbs, China peaked at 3 lbs.

[image]

[image]

[image]

[image][image]
The cat in the picture is Noel, he passed away last November, he loved China so much, a sweetheart.


Hi Charlie,
 
Where do I start?.....
I read your post about China and Nicky more than a few times, I had to read it several times because I wanted to be able to read it without tears falling. Even though you have already shared with me about your adorable China and your rugged and handsome Nicky as well as Noel, reading this post still brought tears.
I delayed in responding because I wanted to write the perfect words to you, I'm not sure I can say anything better or more eloquently than you wrote above, so I will write from my heart....just as you did about your babies.
You and Deborah not only opened your home, but your hearts to your babies, you provided each of them the love,comfort and security that they needed to become healthy and loving family members, you took them in even though they had health issues and with yours and Deborah's love, they flourished, man oh man did they ever flourish, a true testament to the wonderful and loving home you and Deborah provided them.
The strength you and Deborah have shown is absolutely amazing, to lose Noel, China and then Nicky in a span of 6 months is more than anybody should have to bear, and all through that, Deborah is fighting her own battle with her health, and with you by her side, you both have been able to find a way to go through each day with such grace and dignity, you have found the strength to write and support others on here even while your own hearts were absolutely shattered, not an easy thing to do at all, you both amaze me, Peanut's Mom said it perfectly, I too am humbled, you and Deborah are truly such wonderful people.
The photos are so beautiful, so wonderful and so touching. The one with the three of them together, Nicky looks like he is keeping a lookout for both Noel and China, being the protector that you knew he was, China is busy with her stick, and Noel is laying there so calm, while listening alertly and keeping his eyes on China to make sure she is safe. I mean how great is this photo, let's not forget that Noel is a cat, and here he is hanging with two dogs, but they weren't cats or dogs....they are family and that is because of you and Deborah, they loved each other because of the way you loved each of them.
I can't get enough of the photo of the young Nicky running for his life from Noel, so funny the expression on Nicky's face, not sure what exactly happened here, but man, does this photo make me laugh as I am sure Nicky pushed Noel's buttons one too many times, only as a little brother can do....so funny, wonderful photo.
You can see that Noel truly loves China, the way she is pulling on his tail, how hilarious is that, it's almost like China is saying, "c'mon Noel let's play" and Noel is looking at her in such wonderment at the feisty little girl daring to pull on his tail, so funny this photo, yet it again tells the story of the loving bond that Noel and China have.
The words you wrote touched my heart deeply, like you, I am changed as well, my heart is also softer and I too now "understand". You especially touched my heart with mentioning us and Bella, thank you for doing so. I am realizing that this will be a long journey, as you said "the healing will be life long", but I am so lucky knowing that I have you and the others here to lean on when needed, for that I give my most sincerest gratitude, without the support from you and the other wonderful people here, I honestly have no idea how I would have survived this difficult time.I have built friendships here that I hope last for life. Thank you.
Please give my warmest and biggest wishes to Deborah, she is never far from our thoughts, such strength. Always to you both I wish such peace, healing, light and love to find your hearts, may the warmth and love of your China, Nicky and Noel as well as your other babies always, always be felt so deeply in your wonderful hearts.
Thank you so much for sharing these great photos, I really enjoy seeing your babies.
 
From my heart to yours, your friend always, Don
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Chinadoll

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Reply with quote  #10 
Don, I am so grateful for your loving and beautiful response, once again, your words are so sincere and from the heart. You have been there from the start, I will never forget that. You reached out to me at a time in my life when I was at my lowest. Your story of Bella, as I would later discover, has truly been an inspiration to accept what has happened, to keep going, to heal slowly. You opened your heart and told me 'if you ever need to talk, express your grief, I'll always be here', and you have. It's really amazing that you and others here could be my closest friends and I have never met you and them in person. That's what this common thread of love for our dear friends has accomplished in yet another gift, friends. Deborah sends her warmest wishes for you, Vera and Bella. May you know the love and help you have expressed on this forum for so many will never be forgotten. Bless your family.

Charlie and Deborah

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Charlie
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camunki

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Reply with quote  #11 
hi Charlie and Deborah, I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved most recent Nicky and to make matters worse losing your sweet China on Jan 12th and back in Nov with your sweet cat Noel. That is alot to take in 3 pets in a 6 month period, my heart truly goes out to you. You loved your babies to the moon and back and "rescued" them just as they rescued you. The pics you display are wonderful they all are a happy family playing and loving life. 

I know the grieving path is a hard one, I lost 3 pets Jemma, Munk and Daizy in a 22 month period and i still cry to this day over my recent one Jemma. I know the feeling you are having, but your babies were taken in a much closer time frame, yet that doesn't change the feelings it just seems hard to move forward with so many losses and so close together.

I do know posting here helps so much. There are wonderful people here to offer wonderful insight and share their feelings.

For now your Nicky, China and Noel are on a new adventure at the Rainbow Bridge, no more pain all peace and happy days.....they are your guardian angels til you meet again.

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Chinadoll

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Reply with quote  #12 
Cam - Thank you for your kind wonderful words. My heart goes out to you, I've read many of your posts here, you are truly a blessing to so many. I pray for peace and comfort for all of us, it is a difficult path. Blessings.
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Charlie
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lissab

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Reply with quote  #13 
Thank you for the comforting words, Charlie. it's nice to know there are others like us. I'm truly sorry you had to endure this heartbreaking pain. I know many people don't get it, they are our family, it's helpful to know there are people like you and Deborah that have so much love to give these babies.. I'm definitely not alone here. And when you have that bond like you did with China, it's amazing. My prayers and thoughts are with you and Deborah. Healing does take time, but you can cherish the happy times and know they do know how much we love them and I do believe they're still with us. blessings to you both. ❤️

Lisa

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Lisa
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shantismom

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Reply with quote  #14 
Don mentioned you to me, I really can't imagine what it would be like to lose your beloved babies so close together.  Your pictures are so sweet and also make me smile, your little China so brave to pull the kitty's tail.  Just like Don's Bella a little lionhearted girl.
I came here getting close to three years ago when I lost my Shanti.  He was my once in a lifetime cat.  I have found such wonderful people here and they have become my friends.  I am glad you also found your way here, it can be nothing but a blessing for you.
I will keep you and your wife in my prayers.  Healing does come but you never really "get over" the loss.  Time will do it's work and I can see even now you can remember with some measure of happiness at the privilege of having cared for these wonderful little ones.
My best wishes to you as you continue your journey.
Marlene

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Chinadoll

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Reply with quote  #15 
Marlene - Thank you so much for your kind words and your offer of prayers for my wife and me. This forum is truly a blessing, you meet so many wonderful people here and no one feels like a stranger. We all have a common bond, a friendship that is unconditional, just like our lovely babies. I have begun to realize, like you said, that we will never get over the loss, it changes us forever. But none of us would give up one second of love we experienced, truly a 'once in a life time' bond. Thank you for taking the time to post here, I am touched by your words. Prayers and blessings for you and Shanti.
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Charlie
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