Fallenthropy
Chewy was a 14 year old tabby.  We knew he was developing thyroid issues but thought we had more time to deal with them.

I came home Saturday after spending the day with my niece to find him panting and straining to pee anywhere, even his litter box.  We rushed him to the vet only to find out that he was close to liver failure as well as having an inflamed bladder.

I had him put to sleep since I couldn't see my beloved Chewy suffer any more.  I must have had blinders on not to notice how thin he had become or anything else.  All I knew is that I loved him and now he's gone.  I can't stop crying or feeling guilty because of it.

I feel like the worst pet owner in the world.  He's gone and I'm surrounded by all the space he used to fill.

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Susie_Squillions
Dear Fallentrophy,

You message is so sad.  I'm so very sorry to hear about your loss, and about the continuing guilt you feel.

You say you feel like the worst pet owner in the world.  Really?  Think about it.,  Chewy had 14 wonderful years with you.  I can tell by the level of sorrw you have expressed that he was loved and treated the way every animal deserves to be treated.  He had love, he had companionship, he had food, water, and litter ~ he had it all!  My only argument with your statement is with the term "pet owner."  We are so much more than that.  We are companions, best friends, and caretakers.  But no one really owns another.

It's so easy to not see the weight loss and other signs when we're with them every day.  As they get older, the weight loss seems a bit normal to us because they're less active, so it stands to reason that they would lose muscle mass.  Our animals are hard wired to hide signs of weakness in the wild.  It's their best method of survival to prevent their predators or competitors from seeing them as being vulnerable.  They use that same instinct in our homes, no matter how domesticated they are.  They can't speak to tell us they don't feel well, so it's up to us to have to figure out if something is wrong, and if so, what it could be.  It's often not even easy for our veterinarians to get the right diagnosis on the first or second try.  A lot of the time, it's a guessing game, and we do the best we can to help them.

I have many kitties at the Rainbow Bridge, but three who are especially close to my heart, having been cats who changed my life.  I've sent a message to them to take Chewy under their wings and teach him the ropes. 

Please come back and tell us about Chewy's life with you as soon as you are able to, when the memories of better times begin to come through for you.

You and your sweet Angel Chewy are in my thoughts and prayers.


My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)

"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley

T.J.'S RESIDENCY:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/TJ006/Resident.htm

BUDDY GUY AYRES~LYNCH'S RESIDENCY:
http://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/Buddy128/resident.HTM

KING BING THE GOD CAT'S RESIDENCY:
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BINGO009/Resident.htm

In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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Fallenthropy
I got him as a 7 month old rescue kitty.  He was friend and companion.  And often we joked that he was in charge, not us.

He was my baby and I really feel lost without him.   My husband keeps telling me that things will get better.   We just have to keep remembering that we loved him too much to let him suffer any more.  I should have referred to myself as something other than owner but grief is raw.  I can't even leave my house.  I tried and dissolved into a puddle of tears.  I just know that I'll look up to the window when I get outside and won't see him waiting in it for me. 

And I don't know if I could bear to witness that yet.

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Susie_Squillions
((((((((Fallentrophy))))))))

Everyone here understands what you're going through, and we will all do what we can to help you find your own path to healing. 

I didn't mean to sound critical when I mentioned the word "owner."  I should have put in a smiley face or something to let you know I was being gentle.  What I meant to communicate to you is that you were so much more than that.  To call yourself an owner does you a disservice.  You were, and always will be, a momcat.

xoxoxo


My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)

"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley

T.J.'S RESIDENCY:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/TJ006/Resident.htm

BUDDY GUY AYRES~LYNCH'S RESIDENCY:
http://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/Buddy128/resident.HTM

KING BING THE GOD CAT'S RESIDENCY:
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BINGO009/Resident.htm

In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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