Thank you, Larissa, I really meant every word. I couldn't stop thinking about your post and really thought about it a great deal.
I still think it would be so soothing for your poor sad heart and soul if you have another "baby" that's really YOUR baby--not a farm animal baby, but a pet baby, regardless of the species you choose. The love in your heart clearly knows no bounds, so you wouldn't love the others any less, but you just need someone special who you know will be there for a long time, a special little buddy you get to dote-on and pamper. Your heart and spirit will heal right away when you have another baby who needs you. It's not replacing one with another; it's honoring the memory, the life, the soul of your sweet lost love by giving the same tenderness and attention to another animal who needs it. Maybe you rescue an otherwise healthy, but abandoned baby who needs you to heal his soul, but who will also blossom and grow and flourish under your warmth.
I think we're very much alike in terms of the rewards and joy we find in caring for others, and that is exactly what I did when a little angel fell into my arms, who had been abandoned and dumped outside twice, and who, under all of the fur, has scratches and cuts all over his body, but who I will heal and watch as he grows into a magnificent, proud, confident, healthy cat, and who in healing him, I am also healing myself--and honoring the life and the memory of my precious, princess kitty who I adored for 17 years, and who I will love always and forever.
This was how he looked after I pushed my forehead against his and told him he has a mommy now.