jimmy17
I know it`s not even been 3 weeks, but just can`t stop thinking about my lovely old boy. It feels like he`s just a whisper away from me and that he will still come running into the room as if he`d never been away - then reality sinks in and I get that awful sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I thought my husband was dealing with it much better than me, then last night ( New Years Eve ), he lost it completely, how the house is so empty, no one to look after. even the little things like being in the car and Jim would always be on the back seat looking through the window, or climbing onto our knee to get an even better look. I do know these feelings will fade, then a bit of guilt sets in knowing that he`s slipping further and further into the past. We`re seriously thinking of helping out a bit at the dog rescue centre where we got Jim from 17 years ago, even though we cannot contemplate getting another little friend for now, we just need to have dogs in our lives. Jackie x
J Taylor
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heartsick
You are very wise. Your little Jim loves you as you love him.
You need time to grieve. Jimmy will bring your next little one to you
and you will know it is right.

I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet precious Jimmy.

The beginning raw searing pain of new grief is just awful.

They take a piece of us when they go,

But they leave a piece of them with us also.

Grief is awful and there is nothing else like this pain.

I am divorced - when I was married I buried my son- at that time I became a Certified Grief Counselor- I used the same graveside service for my Bear as I did for my son.

Please know that when we lose someone we love we don't stop loving them -

LOVE NEVER DIES.

The soul bound connection that is between our babies and ourselves is forever.

Nothing - not death- tears -grief - or sadness will ever break the ties between us for those ties are made of LOVE so strong that NOTHING will ever sever those connections.

LOVE NEVER DIES.

When we grieve for those we love it is because we do not quite know how to live without them. We breathe because we have no choice but the living part takes a huge amount of learning and time.

Grief is not something we get over but something that we learn -slowly- over time- to incorporate into our lives until it becomes a part of us like our bones and our breath.

Please know that we all understand here and we are all here for you.

Please come back and tell us more about your life with your beautiful baby so we can get to know him better through you.

We are all in this together and all walking the same roller coaster path of grief together -

some a bit ahead of you, some by your side, and some will come behind for you to help along.

If you read the beginning of any one of our threads you will see yourself. I, literally, walked in circles wringing my hands. My chest constantly hurt as I was unknowingly holding my breath.

You Are In My Thoughts.                                      

Susan(heartsick)

 

In one of the stars, I shall be living.

In one of them, I shall be laughing.

And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.

~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery

 

 

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Burl_B
Prayers.  I am going through the same thing myself.  I had to put my little girl, Chihuahua, down just over 3 wks ago also.  She had a heart condition for the past year or so and it kept on getting worse.  She was almost 15 1/2.  It was the hardest decision I had to make. I have been crying everyday since then.  Some days are worse than others.  The house feels empty and the normal everyday things that I do seem so different now, because she was always by my side.  I have had a dog most of my life, but she was the one that I had the longest and also the one I had when I went through some real rough patches in my life.  I have talked to other people and it was also mentioned about helping out at the shelter.  Just be a 'Cuddle Buddy' from some of the other dogs there.  If I am up to it, I am going to contact them next week and see about it.  

So know this, you all are not alone.  Hugs and Prayers to you all and others that have lost.
Katy Lou, you will forever be in my heart.  Until we meet again.  Daddy loves and misses you so much.  You are daddys daughter.
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jimmy17
Heartsick and Burl B, thank you so much for your kind words. It really helps talking to others who are on the same journey. Hubby and I have just come back from a walk on our local beach, a walk we`ve been on many many times with Jim. I`ll admit it was very hard to see all the other dog walkers having a lovely time, but in a way it made Jim seem close to us again - almost as if he was telling us that it is ok to still try and have a bit of fun. Heartsick, I am so very sorry for your losses, your lovely words ring so true, love never dies, we know Jim loved us very much. you could tell by the way he looked at us - a look of pure trust, just as we loved him so very much, as we will do each and every day for the rest of our lives. Burl B, you, like us are just starting out on this path of utter grief and sadness, after seeing all the dogs on the beach today we`ve decided to go to our local dog rescue and see if they need 2 extra pairs of hands to help out. Who knows, we may be able to bring a little bit of love to some unloved dogs, even for a couple of hours. Thank you both again. Jackie. xx
J Taylor
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bartlett
Having lost my sweet Chester man 4 weeks ago, I know so well the empty sad feelings you have as you do things that your best buddy would always do with you. I finally got up the nerve to look at some of the pictures of my baby and it just tore my heart out to know that all of that was now just a memory. What I wouldn't give to be able to hold him and kiss his old face again.
After the first week of just being a total wreck I decided to go to our local animal shelter, which is rather small, and have been back several times. Rain has kept me away for the last couple of weeks, but I plan to return next week. I usually stay a couple of hours and take as many dogs as I can out for about 15 min. I hate that I can't take them all out, but some of them are just too big and since I'm 76 yrs old i don't think I could handle them. They are all so glad to see me and even though I can't take them all out I always stop and pet each one. It's sad in a way, but i think it truly helps to feel like you're making a difference even though it's small. You would probaby enjoy it even more since you have a hubby to go with you. I wish our shelter was closer by and I would probaby go several times a week.
Ican also identify with the guilt that you feel as time passes and the pain isn't quite as severe, but I know that kind of pain is not something that you can live with on a daily basis.
I'd like to know if you try the shelter thing and if you do, I hope that helps in your ability to cope with your loss. Thoughts and hugs to both of you.
Chester's mom (Joan)
joan bartlett
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jimmy17
H Joan, thanks for your reply. I so much understand when you say what wouldn`t you give to be able to hold your Chester once more. We were with Jim when he passed and the vet let us stay with him afterwards, but having to walk away and leave him was so hard. I felt we were abandoning him. We got his ashes back a week later, and in a small way it did feel like he`d come home, but how I`d love to cuddle him once again, just to hold his paw and kiss his face. When I see people with their dogs, I feel like telling them to enjoy every moment with their little friends because when the inevitable happens, the pain is soul destroying. It will be 3 weeks tomorrow since Jim went, and you are so right, that first intense grief has subsided - it is no longer constant - more like when a memory surfaces, then its like a kick in the stomach. I think you are great going to the animal shelter, for 76 years old you are an amazing lady to be doing such kind acts for those poor shelter dogs. we are going to go to our local shelter to see if we can be of any help, even if its only to spend a few minutes with each dog - at least they`ll hear a kind voice and a nice stroke from us. Jackie. xx
J Taylor
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