I do find comfort in knowing that my Brutus will not suffer the painful path of full blown congestive heart failure with the bloating and difficulty breathing due to his much enlarged heart. He was just beginning to get the cough. The fact that he was also diabetic compromised his heart and other organs on top of everything. I was also spared the most difficult decision that a furbaby parent has to make as that is a likely scenario. My Brutus crossed the Rainbow Bridge on his own. The last gift my sweet beautiful boy gave to me was that when I held his face in my hands, he looked at me and the cataracts were gone and his eyes were as brown as brown could be. He said goodbye as we stared into each others eyes, and then he was gone. The vet started CPR but after I while I stopped his hands and whispered "enough, stop, my baby has been through enough, let him go in peace"
All the above is true but the fact remains that I cannot see clear right now--all I know is that I feel broken. Brutus was my second heart outside of my body. It has been made worse because my mother passed October 12 2017 and my stepfather passed on March 11 2018. With Brutus passing on March 16 2018 it was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. After 5 weeks and 3 days I can't stop crying.
I feel broken and lost and struggle for ways to travel this grief journey.