GEMINIXX69
I am new to this group. My sweet Minnie passed away one week ago today. I have read so many of the stories on here and my heart breaks for each one. None of us are alone in our grief. I'm thankful to have a place to vent where people understand. I can't stop feeling guilty. My Minnie was only 9 years old and had been healthy all her life. We found her collapsed one day with blood coming from her mouth and rushed her to the vet. Had I known that I would not be bringing her home, I would have kept her home and let her go comfortably and safe in my arms. I thought I was helping her. I thought the vet could make her better. And she did try. They did all they could. I should have known in her condition that she wouldn't pull through. She died in a cage at the vet clinic. Alone. I was with her up until they had to close the night before but then I left her. I never saw her alive again. She died sometime that night. I didn't know until morning. I hate myself for not keeping her home but at the same time, I would hate myself if I didn't take her to get help. I am miserable. I wish she was here right now. I can't stop crying and hating myself.  My daughter is heartbroken. Minnie was our life. Why did she have to go so soon?
Linda L.
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SashaWolf

I’m sorry for your loss...

but this saying will not take your pain away 
I lost my baby 5 days ago. 6years old, black angel and very shy. she was very weak, not eating or drinking...
I left in the morning to the vet, in couple hours they told me she has spleen cancer and very poor prognosis. my mind wanted to stop her nightmare. 

I did not want to see the 3 inches monster that would take my baby away from me.

All I knew was that I wanted to spare Lola of even one more moment of suffering, because she was so sweet and special and she was afraid of everything. I kept her in my arms, I cried and told her my love, my angel, mommy loves you...while she went to sleep.

Now I am tormented with guilt. I can’t eat and I can’t sleep. I miss everything about her.myhouse felt never so empty.

I wrote Lola a letter begging for forgiveness Because I can’t forgive myself.
i have never felt so much pain in my whole life.

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GEMINIXX69
I'm so sorry about Lola. They think cancer is what took my Minnie as well. But it was so quick. I had no idea there was anything wrong until it was too late.  I wish I had taken her for regular check ups. Maybe she would still be here. I would not want her to suffer though. Please try to take comfort in knowing that you didn't let sweet Lola suffer. She knows you love her more than anything. I know the pain of your loss is unbearable.  I pray you find peace in knowing that you will be with her again. I'm sorry she had to leave so soon.  I find it helps to look at pictures of the happy times, and I talk to Minnie every day. I want her here so bad. I know that as time passes, it will get easier for us.  We just have to take it day by day, moment by moment. Prayers for you....
Linda L.
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ppomi
Linda, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, and you're absolutely right in that you're not alone in your grief. I have similar regrets and guilt as I had gone to bed thinking my pom will pull through the night and woke up a couple hours after to find out that she passed on after I went to bed. You made the right decision to take Minnie to the vet to give her the best fighting chance. None of us could know when the moment would be, and we could only try our best without that knowledge. I'm sure though Minnie knew that she was being helped and cared for and that you and your daughter love her so much. 
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Duece
I feel your pain - My baby Duece passed on January 6th and this morning has been so emotional for me, tears streaming as I type this - just hang in there, our babies knew we loved them and they loved us - I still feel guilty for no reason at all, his vet and I knew his health was failing, I had just dreaded the day and wanted him with me forever - I loved my baby like no other and it do hurt so bad.
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Runningman66
Reading all these posts is just so heartbreaking and my eyes are streaming with the tears as I know what you all are going through and that is probably something near pure hell.My prayers are with you all and just say we must hang in there although I’m the last one to give out advice.

Love Runningman
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SashaWolf

Linda, you’re a very loving mommy.
You are in pain and still find the strength to comfort strangers. Minnie was loved and lucky to have you as her guardian.
These days I found solace in a book:
The Pet Loss Companion: Healing Advice from Family Therapists Who Lead Pet Loss Groups

sometimes books are better than people...same as our immortal fur babies. I’m dreaming of Lola rubbing her little body on Minnie. Their journey just begun in a place of warmth and comfort. 

They were loved so much...

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snrein1016
My heart goes out to you. No one should have to feel the kind of pain we feel when we lose one of our family. It's cruel and unfair. We really do the best we can. If you had known it was her time, you would have brought her home. I'm sure she knows that. Your pain is a reflection of how much you loved her. Blessings to you.
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