mmccormick
It has been a little over a year since I lost my best and only freind. A minni snawser named Ninja. My son bought him originally when he lived at home. Then when he got his own place that did not allow pets he left Ninja for me to care for. At that time I weighed over 300 lbs. I started walking him every day for at least one mile and together over the years I lost over 100 lbs. We became very close and I loved him and our time together. He is souly responsible for my weight loss and he may have saved my life. That being said I had him for about 14 yrs. And we walked together daily. Then he started to get arthritis in his hind legs and could not go up or down stairs so I carried him and let him walk as much as he could till one day he could not even walk anymore. At that time I knew it was time to put him down cause I could tell he was miserable and frustrated that he could not walk with me any longer and life expectancy for his breed was 15 yrs. I am so devastated still. I miss him and our time together and I feel responsible for walking him so much. I feel I wore his little legs out. I still cry every day at our walk time cause I miss his love so much. It feels better to just write this out but is it normal to grieve this long and hard???
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Bellabanks
I'm sorry for your loss..
The arthritis was not your fault it happens to them as they age they are small breeds. My bella legs started to bother her so I would carry her as well up and down the stairs to her favorite spots even have a chest strap carrier for her. This is fresh for me still every day hits a bit harder. Lost is never easy when you become so attached. Ninja helped you in an amazing way and you are right he probably saved your life just like bella did mine. Its nothing wrong with tears it just mean that you were fortunate enough to love and receive love.💛
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mmccormick
Thank you and I hope you feel better it sounds like you can relate to my pain. I wish I could say it gets better. I've thought of adopting another puppy but I can't bring myself to do it. I feel I am betraying him. And the thought of enduring this pain again scares me.
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mmccormick
I thank you for reaching out. The best thing I can tell you is don't let other people belittle your grief. As a man my coworkers and even my wife do not understand why I'm so upset over a dog. But they were more than that to us. They were our babies our children and we loved them as such. Don't ever feel awkward or embarrassed because you are not alone in how you feel. Even some dog owners don't get it because they were not attached as we were. I find comfort in knowing that Jesus has my son now and he will hand him back to his daddy some day.
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Becky1990
Mark,
I am so sorry for your loss of Ninja. I would say it is very normal even after a year that you still miss Ninja and the bond you two shared. You both saved each others life. The dedication you had for each other is admirable. Embrace it! He is your spiritual animal. Most people don't understand the bond we have with our babies and that is okay. It is their loss. I prefer animals over people any day. I am truly sorry for your loss. Hugs, Becky
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mmccormick
Thank you. I needed that.
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kristenharlow
The thing we miss, the thing we lack that hurts so much, is the ability to show them our love in the material world. However, when we feel this deep pain, it is proof of how much we loved the gift that they were. Inside that human love, the unimaginable love of God is holding our pups for us until we return. 

Mark, with the love you gave Ninja, you prepared him for the ultimate, eternal love which is enveloping him now. The love you gave him was in preparation for the awesome love of eternity. 
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BorderCollieLover
Mark:

  Sorry to hear about your beloved Ninja. You were a great pet owner. No, you didn't wear out his legs, if anything you extended his life with all the exercise. It's OK to grieve openly. It's a sign of strength - not a weakness. I cry each and every day about losing my dog. It's very healthy emotionally to do so. We're all glad that you are in this Forum. I hope that you post often and let us know how you're doing. Stay strong. 

Jim
Jim Miller
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Mistysmama
mmccormick, A year is not so long at all, when we miss a dear one. I sometimes still cry for missing my Misty and it has been seven years. Just sometimes, it will touch my heart and bring tears, and I think that is quite natural when someone you loved very deeply is no longer there.

No you didn't wear out your little Ninja with those lovely walks ! You helped him stay fit and active. You helped BOTH of you stay fit and active.

I heard a doctor lecturing about arthritis once, and he was saying that regular exercise actually helps joints stay fluid, as the movement helps stimulate the synovial fluid between the joint fascia. In his opinion regular moderate healthy exercise doesn't cause arthritis.

So whatever you do don't blame yourself. Bless your little Ninja and kind thoughts to you.

Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
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mmccormick
I want to thank EVERONE for the support. I'm so glad I joined and posted. You all have my heartfelt grief for your precious pets you all have lost. But on a lighter note I have thought about Ninja a lot today and have read some really sad stories in this forum that made me feel better about the life he did have.
I appreciate all of your kindness. I still walk sometimes at our favorite spot when I do I feel he is there with me somehow. They say that a animals love is unconditional.
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