Forum
Sign up Calendar Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment  
rottiladi

Registered:
Posts: 8
Reply with quote  #1 
 
I thank you all for your kind words of comfort regarding the loss of Zippy and Buzzy, but I just can't move on, his bed where I found him is still there, and I feel that if I move it Buzzy will be offended, I just can't get this 'little man' out of my head, I can still see him lying there, so still. I have my strong moments, but memories of them both come flooding back, wham and knock me sideways.  I still have the Mothers Day card up, and I feel Buzzy will think I don't love him.if I take it down  I have lost my babies before but Buzzy has really tugged at my heart.  I read all new and old posts to give me hope that things will get better, and what I can't understand is: there is so much grief and love shown at once, which is so comforting, but why do our loved ones have to go when there is, around the world, so much suffering to animals at the hands of human beings?, they pray for the day they can be released from their living hell, whilst all we want is the best ever for our babies?I know crying will not bring Zip or Buz back, nothing will, but I miss them so much it hurts.
 
 
0
Susie_Squillions

Registered:
Posts: 947
Reply with quote  #2 
Dear Denny,

It's absolutely normal to feel the way you do.  I'm so sorry to hear that you're having a period of such immense sorrow right now.

We often get stuck in our grief, and it is such a sad place to be.  You don't have to "move on" until you're ready to.  Try to think of it as "adjusting."  Sometimes we have to put considerable effort into adjusting to a new set of circumstances and its not easy to do.  I hope we can help you find a way to move forward (not on) so you will be able to find a foothold on your own path to healing.

Nothing you do could possibly make Zippy and Buzzy feel as if you didn't love them, or as if you were forgetting about them.  It can be hard to let go of the reminders of the final days.  I know, believe me.  But try to think of how our animals ~ especially dogs ~ live their lives.  They live it in the moment.  Each day is an exciting challenge to be faced head on and experienced eagerly.  Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could pay tribute to them by living the same way?  But we're human, and not wired to be quite so forgiving and accepting of what is.  We have to work at seeing life the way they do. 

The thing to be grateful for is that we had them as our guides, our teachers, to show us how to live life seeing each new day as an adventure.

After I lost Buddy Guy, the vet sent us a beautiful card with some of his fur, a few whiskers, and his paw print.  I treasured that card with everything I had in me.  A few years later, when I was working in a screen printing shop, one of our forum friends faced the tragic loss of her husband.  I was gong to have a shirt designed to sell to forum members to raise money to help her.  As part of the design, I was gong to use Buddy's paw print, so I took the sympathy card to work with me,  My boss was having some serious issues, and one day he came into work drunk and fired me for one of his own mistakes (he had already fired the entire staff, replaced them, and then fired some of their replacements).  He was in a bad way.  He shooed me out of the building and I had to leave my card behind.  I called one of my co-workers and asked him to get the card out of the file on my desk, and told him my husband would swing by to pick up my most prized possession.  When my husband arrived, the boss had returned, and he proceeded to beat the daylights out of my husband, sending him to the hospital.  I never got my card back, and I mourned my loss all over again.  It was a nightmare.

What I learned from that experience was that the one thing no one could take from me was the love, the bond, that Buddy and I had.  That lives forever and always.  Buddy is still with me, just as your Zippy and Buzzy are always with you.

Please come back and tell us something happy, silly, or sweet that Zippy and Buzzy did to make them such enormous parts of your heart.  It really does help to share those stories of better times.  The tears will flow, but soon a rainbow will appear for you from seeing the sunshine of a smile shine through the rain of your teardrops.  I promise.  It just takes time to get to that point.

I lost the cat who was the Heart of My Heart on March 9th.  I realized that if I held on to the memory of his final days with us, those memories would overshadow the 16+ years of happiness he brought to me.  I refuse to give so much power to the insidious  brain tumor that took him from us.  I want to feel the gratitude of having loved him for as long as I live.  Not the grief for the way things ended. When those memories creep in, I do my best to counter them with the good memories.  It's harder some days than others, but I am winning the battle, and the enthusiastic and loving best friend I remember is helping me to win it.

I'm sending you squillions of virtual hugs, and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.


__________________
My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)

"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley

T.J.'S RESIDENCY:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/TJ006/Resident.htm

BUDDY GUY AYRES~LYNCH'S RESIDENCY:
http://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/Buddy128/resident.HTM

KING BING THE GOD CAT'S RESIDENCY:
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BINGO009/Resident.htm

In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
0
Goobiesbf

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 61
Reply with quote  #3 
My goodness, it hasn't been that long for you. Of course, your feelings are going to be sharp-edged and raw.  Grief doesn't have a timetable.  None of us set "grief goals" and expected to meet them because it's just not possible to schedule our emotions and make them convenient.

I emptied and cleaned up Goobie's food and water dishes and his food mat and placed everything back where it belonged and it's still there even though I'm feeling better.  His bed is still at the side of the couch in the livingroom. The teddybear he kneaded and cuddled on my bed is still there ... and it's been almost 6 weeks since Goobs was euthanized.  Why am I doing this?  Because right now I need his things to be where I expect them to be. I can't explain it.  At the beginning I'd often look at his bed or at his dishes and expect to see him and it was excruciating painful.  Today, 6 weeks later, I still look over and every once and a while expect him to be there but not too much anymore.  I just feel comfortable with his things where they belong.

Do what you need to do to deal with your grief.  Everything in its own time.
0
Susie_Squillions

Registered:
Posts: 947
Reply with quote  #4 
How I wish I hadn't had a computer meltdown recently!  One of the people who was posting on the forum 6 years ago when I first arrived wrote a beautiful poem called "I Kept Some Things."  I am still searching for it everywhere.  I know I posted it over and over again on the old style forum, but I haven't found it so far.  I'll keep searching, and as soon as i find it, I'll post it here.  it's one of my favorites.  In the mean time, I love this one that was given to me by a friend who works at a veterinary emergency/diagnostic facility on our area:

DESDEMONA'S LEGACY
~ S. Hartwell

I bequeath my favorite cat bed
To the cat who comes after me,
I sleep now in a bed of clouds,
Softer than earthly fleece.

To the cats who follow after,
I bequeath my favorite toys,
My beat up mouse, my feather wand,
The things that gave me joy,

To the cats who tread my paw prints,
In your many years to come,
I leave my secret hideaways,
And my places in the sun.

I know that there'll be others,
And to them I now bequeath,
The cuddles, strokes and kind words,
That is my legacy.

I know it won't be right away,
The wound in your heart is raw,
But I'm certain there'll be others
To follow in my paws.





__________________
My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)

"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley

T.J.'S RESIDENCY:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/TJ006/Resident.htm

BUDDY GUY AYRES~LYNCH'S RESIDENCY:
http://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/Buddy128/resident.HTM

KING BING THE GOD CAT'S RESIDENCY:
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BINGO009/Resident.htm

In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
0
Susie_Squillions

Registered:
Posts: 947
Reply with quote  #5 
Hooray!  As luck would have it, I found the poem I was looking for just now!  Here it is:

I Kept Some Things

 

A little red coat in its usual place,

A soft blue cloth to wipe your sweet face.

A plush doggie bed on the living room floor,

Muddy little paw prints still mark the side door.

 

Brushes in the cabinet all in a row,

A blue one for me and a red one for you

Your harness and leash still hang on the hook,

And on the end table your Memory Book.

 

Medicine on the shelf in the door of the 'fridge,

No need for this now, good health at the Bridge!

Toys in the basket in the office nook,

(Those who come here cast a sideways look.)

 

Your dishes in the curio, all washed and clean,

I know others wonder, "What does this mean?"

I have all your things but no longer have you...

You don't need them now…but I certainly do.

 

Author: Carol, Mo's Mom


__________________
My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)

"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley

T.J.'S RESIDENCY:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/TJ006/Resident.htm

BUDDY GUY AYRES~LYNCH'S RESIDENCY:
http://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/Buddy128/resident.HTM

KING BING THE GOD CAT'S RESIDENCY:
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BINGO009/Resident.htm

In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
0
River

Registered:
Posts: 39
Reply with quote  #6 
It has been 16 weeks for me. I totally understand how you feel. I was visiting my son at work and a woman there who lives in our neighbourhood hadn't heard about River. Just after we got River, my son told me that she didn't want their golden retriever and was looking for a new home for him. I walked by one evening and she was sitting outside talking to someone on the phone while this silly goofy pup was looking out the sidelight. I was surprised by the anger I felt when she asked about River. I wanted to know why God had taken a pup that was so well loved when there were others who were neglected or mistreated or unloved. The bloodstain is still in the back of our van and I still don't have the heart to clean it, and actually avoid doing anything that might make it wear away. The back seat of the van was his seat, where there is still lots of his yellow fur and I don't know if I will ever be able to clean it either.
0
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.