Forum
Sign up Calendar Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment  
ACE

Registered:
Posts: 3
Reply with quote  #1 
What can I say here that hasn't already been said.  My story is no different than the rest of them.  My heart hurts like everybody else's.  Today we put our beautiful, silly, crazy, naughty but lovable German Shorthair down.  I am second-guessing every decision.  He was 9 and was having such a hard time getting around.  He tore a very rare ligament and we took him to several vets and to our vet school.  They were the first to diagnos correctly.  They said there really wasn't a surgery to fix it and we could try p.t. It required us to do in home therapy 3xs per day.  I just look back and wonder if we could have done more.  He got to the point where he would just lay on the couch all day.  He didn't even get up to go out until he really had to.  One day last week he growled and snapped a little at my husband when we tried to help him get out of the car.  I asked for a sign that it was time and I guess that was it but I just can't keep from questioning it. 
We had a beautiful day with him today.  We took him to "the farm" (my in-laws farm) and walked him with us and the kids.  We gave him tons of treats and ice cream and loved him up.  He was getting around really well which made me feel all the more guilty.  Then the vet came to the farm (which was sooo awesome not to have-to haul him to the clinic) and my husband and I stayed with him and then buried him in the pet cemetary on the farm.  I just kept holding him and petting him and thinking he can't be gone. He is going to pop his head up and lick me at any minute.  But of course he was gone.  My heart is broken. I laid down today and just wanted to feel him snuggled up next to me.  It hurt so bad.  I oscilate between feeling like I'm going to dye and feeling like "ok, its just a dog, life goes on".  Part of me wants to just push forward and not feel and part of me wants to wallow in the utter sadness of losing a buddy.  I emailed a few people who are very close to me about his passing.  I didn't want to talk about it but I figured I should let them know.  They called and I just let it ring.  Part of me wants to bawl to them and part of me wants to just say to them "such is life, its all part of the process".  I see the big picture of life and think there are soo many worse things people are dealing with and it seems silly to dwell on this but then I fall apart and it hurts so bad and feels so real.  I just keep picturing him there so soft and beautiful and I just keep thinking wake up wake up lick me lick. 
0
MelissaB

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 20
Reply with quote  #2 

Ace, I am so sorry to hear about your loss.  I had to make that same decision on Tuesday and end the suffering of my cat of 15 years, Bubbie.  The pain you feel is real.  Pets become part of the family and a very special part of your life.  I have gone through the same feelings as you over the last few days.  Today I picked up his ashes and brought him back home where he belongs.  I still can't believe he is gone.  It's wonderful that you got to spend his last few moments doing something special.  The decision that you made was one of the hardest you will ever have to make, but I know you didn't want to see him suffer.  My Bubbie had been diabetic for almost 5 years and his kidneys have been failing for the last 2.  I watched him waste away from a very robust 17 lbs to less than 7.  He finally developed a blot clot in his legs and I knew it was the end.  You gave him a wonderful life and I am sure that he knew how much you love him.  I hope that you find peace in the days ahead and can think of all of the good times with him with a smile. 

0
reovi

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 136
Reply with quote  #3 
I'm so sorry to hear about your boy, but he wasn't just a dog, as I am sure you know-but whatever helps you get through the next few weeks, right?  I did the same thing when Polar passed, I kept most of my communication with others electronic because I knew I couldn't keep it together, and most people wouldn't have quite understood why I was so upset.  Just know that we understand and are here for you and I wish you peace.
0
ACE

Registered:
Posts: 3
Reply with quote  #4 

thank-you all for your support.  I'm heading off to bed and I'm sure I will cry myself to sleep tonight.  I still can't believe he is gone.  I really just can't get my mind around it.  I can't believe I held him and kissed him today for the last time.  I can't believe he was here one minute and gone the next. It seems impossible. 

0
Mia870

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 98
Reply with quote  #5 

Ace I am truly sorry for your loss. Never think that he was just a dog and to get on with it, he was your child and he loved you unconditionally. The loss and pain is just like losing a human family member and the emptiness and void they leave is unbearable. Take time to morn his loss, cry when you need to and smile and think of the good times you had over the last nine years. You are well understood here, we all loved our babies fiercely. When you can come back and share his life story and tell us what made him special. Thinking of you xx   


__________________
Mia Jessie aged: 11 years. Always our puppy girl xxxxxx
0
ACE

Registered:
Posts: 3
Reply with quote  #6 

It feels weird to me that life just marches right on.  It seems like the world should stop but it doesn't.  We just keep going about our business as usual only he is not here with us.  I hate it.  

0
Tonya

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 166
Reply with quote  #7 
Dear friend, love drops fall as I read your post about your precious baby.
I'm so very sorry and I hurt with you,  there is no other love as the
great love that is between a parent and their fur baby.
A love so great and pure. 
It is hard for me to give you the just right words as there realy are none,
but know that your baby is very special to us.

It has been awhile since I have been to the forum. but I drop in
here and there, the sadness just over takes my heart.
I know all too well. 

The why's and what if's drive you to more tears.
The should haves.   Oh for the love of God  WHY?

Your baby will forever remember you, forever love you.

Talk to your darling. Go out and look up,  see that bright
star,  that is your precious baby. 
Will always be watching over you.

I pray you find a bit of piece here,  There are angels
here that will wrap you in their wings.

It is not silly.  This was your child, a huge part of your life,
a family member and never forget that,  no matter what is going on in this mean cruel outside world, what matters is you lost a fur child,
and that is as important as anything else that may be going on out there.

God Bless

__________________
Tonya Mesha Gails mommy Babies and Maggie Mae's too at the bridge
Mommy to living baby Kit Kat AND as of 7/14/2010 Cotton (puppy)
For the love of our babies
They are the reason
Forever and Always Forever and a Day
Oh what a love is the love of our babies
A love like no other. Love drops fall

MY PRECIOUS SWEET GIRL Mesha Gail My Very Heart and your Shane's too
**http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/MESHA001/Resident.htm

REMEMBERING MERCY xoxoxox oh what a love.
**http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/MERCY0031/Residents.htm

REMBERING MAX passed 12/1/2009 xoxoxox We love you MAX xoxoxo
Shane and I love you.

My true register date is Jan. 2006 ****** it took me that long before I cold talk about my loss.
0
MelissaB

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 20
Reply with quote  #8 

I know what you mean Ace, about life just going on.  I feel like if I do anything that I am not honoring his memory.  I feel like since he gave me 15 wonderful years the least I can do is mourn him longer.  It's been almost a week and I still feel lost.  I know it will get better for us both.  Life does go on, it is just hard at this moment to go on without them by our side.

0
Susie_Squillions

Registered:
Posts: 947
Reply with quote  #9 
Dear Ace,

You gave Ace such a wonderful life.  In the end, you prevented him from suffering more.  When I first arrived here in 2004, someone who was posting regularly said, "I would rather assist her a week too soon than a moment too late."  In other words, before the suffering becomes too much to bear.  That is what you did.  Ace understands, and he is thanking you for putting his needs ahead of your own when he needed your help.  He knows you made the most heart-wrenching decision of your life, and you did it out of the purest love for him.  I suspect he knew that he was spending his last day with you, and the thought of not having to fight to feel good gave him some release from his pain for the day.  He was as ready to go as he would ever be.

There is no such thing as "Just a dog (or cat, horse, ferret, etc)."  Each one of them is a best friend, and each one remains firmly snuggled in that part of our hearts that was theirs from the beginning.  Our hearts grow to make room for the new ones who come along. 

You, your family, and your Angel Ace are all in my thoughts and prayers.





__________________
My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)

"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley

T.J.'S RESIDENCY:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/TJ006/Resident.htm

BUDDY GUY AYRES~LYNCH'S RESIDENCY:
http://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/Buddy128/resident.HTM

KING BING THE GOD CAT'S RESIDENCY:
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BINGO009/Resident.htm

In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
0
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.