My dog Rosey passed away recently from lymphoma a month ago. She did not get much time after the diagnosis (11 days or so) before she passed and I was finishing college finals. She was on chemo and was healthy and happy until the day she died. It was the worst day because the night before I followed her around to make sure she was okay, went for two walks (day and night) and she stopped wanting to move as much. Later on her side and I'd have to go to her and slowly help her to her feet then guide her gently to a better spot closer to us. I was scared and texted a friend I was scared she would die. Refused food and then I couldn't take the fact she kept trying to lie in another room away from me. So I stuck her in her crate and watched a show next to her to distract me. I kept checking on her and woke up at 3am to check on her one last time. She was fine and I went to bed. 3ish hours later she passed. I petted her fur after some coaxing and we left her at the vet for several weeks before burying her in a beautiful pet cementary. I didn't look in the box but said goodbye. I've had her since I was 13 she was very special to me and passed at 9 years (pwd are supposed to live 10-15 years). For weeks I've been lonely without her and trying to understand death. I just don't understand why she had to die. She was a good sweet dog who loved people, water, and food and didn't deserve cancer. I don't know where I am on the grief journey and wish I had some idea because its been very confusing and sad. I'm looking to maybe getting another dog in a year or so (because I need a companion) but I don't know how that will work in terms of finding another dog who I will love as unconditionally as my Rosey. Any advice for me and how to feel like my sweet girl isn't gone for good?

Edit: I also feel guilty over that night when I did not hug or kiss her one last time or decide to call the vet (it was 12:30am) until morning (likely this might've resulted in euthanasia so I don't know). I also feel sad when I remember that she kept going for me (she could've passed at any point) but waited until I went to sleep. She was my comfort/security blanket and BFF since middle school. :'(
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So sorry to hear of your loss...  Don't blame yourself for anything.. You two had a special bond that neither of you would want the other to feel sorry for them..      

Chris Norris
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