It's been 17 days since I lost my best friend. Since I sang to him as he slowly fell asleep as the time seemed to pass by slower than it ever has. My Rigatoni was only seven years old when cancer took his life. Seventeen days since I touched his sweet face and watched him take his last breath and seventeen days since I knew I would never be the same again. 

Rigs was diagnosed with an aggressive basal cell carcinoma on his leg on September 24th and less than three months later, it was time to let him go. I haven't been able to forgive myself and am burdened with guilt that I didn't do enough. After visits with cancer specialists, non aggressive chemo treatment and finally hospice care, no-one could find a way to save my little boy. The day he left us, he was calm and quiet, the opposite of his normal ornery self and I knew it was time for him to go but still, it does not feel right. 

His brother still isn't eating regularly and coming home feels like it will never feel right again. I adopted him just under four years ago and can't help but feel angry with how little time I had with him and how unfair it is that he was so sick so young. I have cried for seventeen days straight, some more than others and am not quite sure I will ever be the same. 

Is there anyone out there who has had a similar experience because right now it doesn't feel like it will get any better. 

Thank you, 

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Hi Rigatoni,

I am so very sorry to hear of your sweet Rigs...it never an easy process to loss our fur children, believe me I know how you feel because life has almost come to a hault since my Zambo left me. Unfortunately some cancers aren't curable and from what I read you DID do everything possible but the disease beat him and his body was to worn out to fight. There has to be a point when we end our pets suffering and in your case I would have done the same.
My situation was a little different because unfortunately I didn't know much about vestibular syndrome or the symptoms and instead of researching I listened to my vet and opted to euthanize my dog. Ya it could have been a tumor but there is a huge chance with all the research I have done that it may have not. I regret not taking him for that MRI and I don't know where to find peace. Its been 6 weeks and I am stuck and don't see light at the end of the tunnel.
I can only say that I hope with time I hope you will find peace with your decision and know that yes you did do everything you could for him till the end. Most importantly you loved him and I am sure he knew this. Give your other little guy time, comfort him and in time he too will learn to adjust with this loss. I am thinking of you and sending hugs your way.

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I’m very sorry. He was a cute little boy. I lost my girl to liver cancer and it’s very heartbreaking. Been three months and I too having a hard time with it. Hugs to you.
Linda *Mom to two boxer angels* Lily {White Girl} 6/22/09 - 10/14/19  ** Ginger {Flashy Fawn Girl} 6/4/97 - 5/28/09
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