Nattie
I lost my chihuahua Hercules 10 days ago to CHF. I still get hit with these tidal waves of grief where I just think no, no, no this cannot be real. I keep flashing back to my last moments with him. He'd had heart disease for two years, and 4 days before he died he got really sick (not eating, barely walking, etc.). I called my vet every day, and each time he just gave me some new medication that didn't work. After 4 days of that, I took him to the emergency clinic which has a cardiology department. It was a Saturday and because of the COVID-19 outbreak, they told me the cardiologist was at another facility for that weekend only and would be back Monday. When we pulled up to the clinic, I had to hand him over to the nurse from my car window. I couldn't go inside and I could only speak to the vet on the phone from my car. The vet told me he was in CHF and called me sporadically with updates while I waited outside for 5 hours. Eventually, she told me they could keep him stabilized until the cardiologist arrived on Monday and that I could go home. Two hours later, he arrested and died.

Honestly, I was aware that those were likely his last days. I figured I would get to the clinic and they would tell me he needed to be euthanized. But never did I think he would die alone in an oxygen box surrounded by a bunch of strangers. Never did I think that when I handed him over to that nurse through the car window, that it would be the last time I'd ever hold my tiny baby alive. I imagined I would hold him wrapped up in his favorite blanket, and my face would be the last thing he saw on this earth before he drifted away. It tears me up thinking about how it really happened. I know what-ifs are pointless, but I keep thinking that if I had just taken him to the emergency vet one day earlier, the cardiologist would have been there and things could have been different. I just hope he wasn't scared or wondering if I'd abandoned him. They said he was sedated, so my only relief is hoping that he didn't know what was going on at all.
NC
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LaGata
I am sorry for your loss.  I, too, cannot stop thinking about those last few minutes.  I hope you find some comfort here.
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Nattie
Thank you so much
NC
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Adrian7879
Hi Nattie, me again...

Just read your story. 
YOU DID EVERYTHING YOU COULD.

He loved you and you loved him.
I know it's hard.

Adrian
AM
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BoxerMomForever
I am very sorry for you’re loss.  That is all so heartbreaking..... Hugs to you - I see his photo in your avatar, he was a cute little boy. 
Linda *Mom to two boxer angels* Lily {White Girl} 6/22/09 - 10/14/19  ** Ginger {Flashy Fawn Girl} 6/4/97 - 5/28/09
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Leeno
My heart goes out to you.  I handed over my chihuahua in respiratory distress.  The last time I saw her - she was pacing in a oxygen box.  I left her with that imagine imprinted in my mind.  She was not sedated. My baby had undiagnosed heart failure.  Hope you can find peace that you are not alone & our babies are at peace now.  
cc
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Pecan_mom
I am so sorry for your loss.  I keep thinking about Pecan’s last day and her last moments as well and can’t stop crying.  I am trying my best to think about the 9 amazing years that we had together instead.  It’s hard it has been almost two weeks and I cry everyday.  Unfortunately this is part of life but it’s so unfair.  I would hold on to her forever if I could.  Take care of yourself 
Sp
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Nattie
Thank you everyone. I wish nobody had to feel this way, but it is a small comfort knowing there are people who fully understand how hard it is. I’m so sorry for all of your losses. And yes, at least they are all at peace now and not in any pain.
NC
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chilover
NC

I am so sorry for your loss, my heart breaks for you. You have done the right thing by coming  to this forum as it is full of love and you will get lots of support from people who understand. We are here for you. I love his name "Hercules".I love both Greek mythology & Chihuahua's & I had a Chihuahua too, however she unfortunately passed due to kidney failure. She had arthritis too & was so weak towards the end so she was given euthanasia. I miss her terribly. I would like to hear about Hercules if and when you are ready to write about him. I am sure he had a wonderful character with a name like that.

You are in my thoughts
Angelina




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Kelly_1968
Hugs to you this sucks. I lost mine a week ago and i am heartbroken. Had my dog 10 years and oh my gosh like where did the time  go. And then he gets diabetes. He didnt do well from the start. I feel for you and send you lots of hugs. I came here to hopefully find some solice as well. So many feel the same so i dont feel like its just me. Take care ❤❤
Pecan_mom wrote:
I am so sorry for your loss.  I keep thinking about Pecan’s last day and her last moments as well and can’t stop crying.  I am trying my best to think about the 9 amazing years that we had together instead.  It’s hard it has been almost two weeks and I cry everyday.  Unfortunately this is part of life but it’s so unfair.  I would hold on to her forever if I could.  Take care of yourself 
Kelly garrett
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stevo19860

I am so sorry for your loss. We don’t know what the future holds. You weren’t to know that it would be your baby’s last moments. Please don’t feel guilty as you did absolutely everything you could.

Look back on the love and care that you provided over the last 10 years and all of the beautiful memories that you made and the moments that you shared. Because at the end of the day that is all that matters. You gave your baby the BEST life possible, and he knows that. If you believe like I do, you’ll see him again one day. God bless.

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ChihuahuaMom
I am so sorry for what you are going through.  There is no greater pain than the loss of a child, that is how I felt and still feel about my Bandit (he was a Chihuahua too). We found out that his heart was twice the size it should be and he also had hypothyroidism and cushings. Our worlds are turned upside down when these events happen. It's been right over six months for me and I still cry all the time and have horrible nightmares.  I do hope that you are able to find a little peace coming here.

Again, I am so sorry you lost your baby. Maybe he's running around playing with my Bandit, our little angels.
Bandit's mommy

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5/14/2005-9/26/2019
May we meet again soon my sweet baby
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