Gertie
It is 6 weeks today since my beautiful Duncan passed. I have cried most of the day. The pain is unbearable. To think a 22lb ball of fur could melt my heart, be my best friend. He seemed to know what I was thinking. When I almost died from a PE blood clot to my lung 2 years ago, he never left my side. Now I feel so alone. I miss my baby, I miss having a companion to walk with, to play with. I miss Duncan.
My husband went on line and found a puppy. A beautiful Lhasa. I feel numb. I feel I am being disloyal.
Can I ever love again? I am afraid to think my life will never again know the soft kisses on my face, the sound of a squeaky toy. The excited bark as I opened the door when I returned home.
Will I ever be able to love like that again?

I miss you Duncan, life will never be the same.
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Momma2Max
Why do you feel disloyal?

Did you feel disloyal for loving your husband and your Duncan at the same time?

love has no boundaries, if that were true, then we could love only one of our 3 children. Or 1 of our pets. or 1 of our friends, or 1 of our relatives.

For many days after Max died, Shilo would come up to me and nudge me and say "pet me" - she would come up to me when I was crying and try to comfort me, but I was like "but you aren't max"...

Poor Shilo's feelings were being hurt by me...she wanted to comfort me and she was happy to see me but I was numb. 

Kara
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smkovalinsky
You are NOT being disloyal. I think Duncan wants you to have a helper now that he is away.
A new puppy to care for,  walk,  feed, play with,  will be HONORING Duncan's memory.
Please love again.   It will ADD to your love for Duncan,  not subtract from it.
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Gertie
smkovalinsky wrote:
You are NOT being disloyal. I think Duncan wants you to have a helper now that he is away.
A new puppy to care for,  walk,  feed, play with,  will be HONORING Duncan's memory.
Please love again.   It will ADD to your love for Duncan,  not subtract from it.
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Gertie
Thank you for your replies. I decided not to take the puppy, I will wait to find one near home. I do think Duncan would want me to have someone to protect me, just like he did. I saw his little buddy Lucy walking by our home this morning, the pain of not having a little companion is intense.
I know I can open up my heart again, I will let you all know when I do. I think Duncan will guide me.
Love and prayers to all of you in grief.
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Mistysmama
Yes, just because we have lost a dear loved one doesn't mean we can't have a friend to help us through.
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
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heartsick
I agree with Mistysmama -
When the time is right for us we will know and very often
our babies send us our next little one.

You are in my thoughts.
Susan(heartsick)
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