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Olliexxx

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Reply with quote  #16 
I am sooo sorry for all your losses..
I feel like im not the only one going through this heartache reading all these messages..its comforting to know im not the only one crying all the time..
My cat ollie was 5yrs old when i had to let him go 3 days ago..im heartbroken..lost the love of my life..my shadow..im sooo sad right now..😭
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f_defillo1

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Reply with quote  #17 
Ollie sorry for your loss. Yes, we all grieve and mourn different, at the end though we're here to support each other. God bless and hope with each day you feel bit better.
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CatLover72

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Reply with quote  #18 
Today is our first Sunday without Frankie. Although the initial hurt and shock of his passing is beginning to become more bearable, the gaping hole that he has left in our home is incredibly large. The silence is deafening so to say. My mind is still flickering between lovely memories and the horror of finding him lifeless and alone at the side of the road. In some ways I’m grateful that I was the one to find him, and he was still able to be brought home and given a send off and then buried in a lovely place in our garden. I am thankful for the fact that we got some closure, it would have been hell to find to him badly injured or not find him it all. Even dark clouds have a silver lining.

All in all this has most definitely been a life changing experience and one that I will never ever forget, regardless of what happens next. It’s not all bad though. Yesterday I launched an FB Page to raise funds for rescue animals in Frankie’s name. He was a rescue and although his life was ended abruptly and way too soon, he had a good life this summer. We never ever wanted it to end, but it has and we can’t change it, all we can do is try to make his life have a greater meaning and that will be to help other poor souls to have a chance to live. That’s all we can do.

Day by day I am being able to slowly let him go. My Dad said something nice, and it was that Frankie doesn’t know that he’s gone, only we do. The pain is felt only by those left behind and it’s true. Frankie’s light went out quickly and we take comfort in that. Now all that remains are the memories and the things that he changed within us for the good.

Try to have a good Sunday everybody. Look at the blessings and let’s let our friends go, day by day.
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Olliexxx

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Reply with quote  #19 
I woke up this morning crying my eyes out as i know i have to clear hes litter box and wash my bed linen which stil has hes fur on it..ive slept on sofa for past 2 nights..other people must think im stupid but he is/was a big part of my life and i feel im slowly getting rid of him which of course im not..just feel soo sad at mo..😔
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kmayo99

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Reply with quote  #20 
Catlover72,
I am deeply sorry for your loss. It has been almost a month since my parents watched my fur baby get hit by a car in a hit and run. Me and my family have a gaping hole as well. I teared up because your dad sad “Frankie doesn’t know that he’s gone.” And you said “the pain is felt only by those left behind.” This applies to my Yuki too because he doesn’t know that he was hit by a car. I know time will heal us all. Take good care of yourself.
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kmayo99

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Reply with quote  #21 
Ollie, I’m sorry for your loss. Just know that you’re never alone. Time will heal us all. Take good of yourself and take it day by day.
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f_defillo1

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Reply with quote  #22 
My Jack also had an accident with a car. He bit the tire and spinned with the wheel. He was a lovely Jack Russell.. lovely and kind inisde the house, overly protective outside the house. 15 seconds of carelessness from me ended his life. I felt guilty for over a month, but reading these posts feel bit better. We gave him a wonderful life and had him safe always. Fate wasnt on our side, but I feel bit at ease he knew he was loved and is not feeling pain. He was also a rescued puppy, about 20 months old.
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CatLover72

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Reply with quote  #23 
That’s a very sad story and I offer you my heartfelt condolences. Both Frankie and Jack had their whole lives ahead of them, but some things are just not meant to be for some reason. In the blink of an eye things change but not always for the worst. It’s been quite a week of up and downs for us, mostly downs, but we are really trying hard to just accept it, know that it’s irreversible whatever we think in our minds, and now we just try to get used to the reality that he has gone. As I wrote before in previous post, they don’t know that they’ve gone, we do. They leave us with a heavy heart but the ones suffering the least is them and that helps me to feel better.
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f_defillo1

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Reply with quote  #24 
The feeling of guilt is extremely powerful. Im dealing with that guilt.
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CatLover72

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Reply with quote  #25 
There can be no guilt in loving unconditionally. None of us have done anything on purpose and none of us have been able to change the outcome, whatever happened. We did the best we could at the time. It’s easy to regret and I know exactly what you mean. I could also have made Frankie come inside that night, but he didn’t want to. We cannot protect them from everything, it’s impossible. Sometimes things happen and even with the best of intentions things don’t work out as we had wished for. Please don’t feel guilty, it’s normal I know, but it won’t change anything and it’s an excruciating emotion to experience. Try to make peace with what has happened and try to let it go. I’m not there either yet, but the logic tells me that it’s not how to deal with the pain, by creating even more. Good luck.
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f_defillo1

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Reply with quote  #26 
Thank you for those kind words. I agree, I think guilt is part of the grieving cycle. Some days I can cope better than others. Evenings are especially tough because that's when we spent more time together and that's when the accident happened. I think with time I'll accept what happened and move on to give unconditional love to another pet. Afraid though right now to get another pet because of what happened and fear of the event happening again, but eventually I must face this fear. God bless all.
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remo

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Reply with quote  #27 
My heart goes out to all of you.  The subject line of this thread caught my eye for obvious reasons.  We lost our kitty Yasmine three weeks ago and still can't stop crying. We've gone through bereavement before with other cats but they all lived to be 17, 18, etc.   Yasmine however was only 7 and developed a kidney stone. Bypass surgery was not successful.  We are beating ourselves up constantly for not figuring out she had kidney issues.  As others have mentioned, feeding time for our other 2 cats is one of the most difficult parts. Yasmine was always the one with her eye on the clock and would be the one to vocalize "hey it's time for dinner" if food was not served promptly at the appointed times. Shortly after her passing we had to evacuate from Dorian. When we got to the hotel our other 2 cats (one of whom is Yasmine's sister / litter mate and they had never been separated before in their entire lives) resumed their search for her for 2 days, looking for her in the hotel room. And when we returned home after the storm they  are again looking for her.   We are heartbroken.  This is the most pain I've ever been in in my life. Thankfully no damage from storm like we had from Matthew in 2016 but I would go through that ordeal 10 times again if I could have our little girl back. 
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CatLover72

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Reply with quote  #28 
The thread got me for the same reason and I sincerely hope that we have not outstayed our welcome but I do think that we are all here for the same reason. Thanks to Yuki, we are all here. All of us suffering in our own way, but all with a common pain. Things work in very weird ways. I am a terrible serial babbler and once I start it won’t stop and so I apologize for that, but there is just so much to say about this.
We are on day 4. I don’t know how it’s only day 4 because it feels like much longer. The reason I expect that it feels like this is because I have hardly slept in this time and I have been totally consumed by his passing. In one sense it’s great, I get some time off my usual day to day BS, but in real terms it’s awful. The loss of his physical presence and the missing him are simply still brutal. Luckily his brother Tommy and our original cat Stinky are together and are young enough too busy scrapping and playing to be overly lost without Frankie. All the same, a bond is a bond and Tommy is most definitely acting quite differently to us. We see him being more up and down.

Without taking over your story with ours which is never my intention,I was simply trying to explain the similarities in the grief that we are all feeling and why. It’s never ever going to be easy to lose anybody, or anything but I heard a great and very useful expression just a couple of days ago.

'Remember, when you are dead, you do not know you are ... The same applies when you are stupid, it is only painful for others’

Frankie doesn’t know that he is dead, he just doesn’t live anymore and he has no pain and no more suffering. It’s us, we are the ones suffering, but we don’t have to if we know that he isn’t. These guys are released. We did our very best to give him everything, and I would even claim that we succeeded. If I was going to go all out to hurt myself and make myself feel bad I would say I gave him too much freedom to live as he wished and that’s why he was in a road at the wrong time.The truth is, we only gave him what we could in love and good and water. It was his life to live and to decide and not mine, I only helped him to live it out better....
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f_defillo1

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Reply with quote  #29 
Funny thing I didnt had a dog for 15 years after I joined the Air Force and moved away. So I was never really a pet lover until recently when we adopted Jack for our daughter Jackie. Something special about him I know will be difficult to replace. Im least a cat lover, but reading this and other threads have become extremely compassionate and have empathy for cat owners. So I lost my best dog Ive had in 43 years, but I have also gained a great life experience and great sense of connection with other pet owners through this experience. Thank you God.
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Danagray

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Reply with quote  #30 
This is heartbreaking, similar circumstances took the life of my first pet Yukon , Yuki for short . Recently I lost my only other dog to an illness . We are here for support and understand what is happening to you . I wish you peace .
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