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kmayo99

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Reply with quote  #1 
I can’t stop crying. I miss my Yuki so much. I miss everything about him. I would do anything just to hold him in my arms again. I’m still so heartbroken. The fact that he was only 3 1/2 makes me so sad because he had such a long life ahead of him.i keep looking back on pictures and cry. Knowing he was just with me a month ago absolutely makes me heartbroken. I keep looking back at pictures and videos of Yuki and I just cry. I did not witness the tragic accident like my parents but I can still picture what happened. I still remember my reaction when my parents told me after I came home from work. I still remember how my parents wrapped Yuki in a yellow blanket. I remember holding him in my arms and sobbing for an hour straight. I can still picture myself olding his lifeless body in a yellow blanket. I remember when the crematorium people came to collect his body. I just can’t atop crying. I miss him so much.
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Sambobam

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Reply with quote  #2 
I’m so sorry! I can’t get over it either losing my Sam. 💔💔💔it’s juat now really hit me after 2 weeks it’s likenive been in shock numb. I was hurt but I kept staying busy and blocking it out. It’s ihotting me know. I just can’t. This can’t be real! I don’t understand why? He was my best friend and comfort for 9 years but sick for a good year. This boxer he made everything better never left my side.
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CatLover72

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Reply with quote  #3 
I am so sorry to hear about your pain. I am going through the same emotions having lost our beloved cat, who was only a year old, just two days ago. I am reading all kinds of things about how to grieve but the pain and the overwhelming emotion that I am feeling is almost unbearable. I want you to know that you are not alone and you are not the only one feeling this and I that hope this will offer some comfort. The world changed a couple of days ago when the reality of the fears I had about him being missing cane true. didn’t want it to become real but it did and I found his lifeless little body on the side of a road close to our home. I’m heartbroken and angry and sad and confused all at the same time and I’m sure you are too. We have to accept that this is way things are and we cannot change them as much as we would wish to. Fate has something lined up for us all and it can be a source of horrible anxiety. I wish things were different but they aren’t and now I need to feel like crap until my mind will allow me to gradually move on. We have 2 other cats who need us and my wife also needs me. Please be strong and know that I understand what you are feeling. Be strong but also allow tears to flow. It will get easier......
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Sambobam

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Reply with quote  #4 
Thank you! I am sorry for your loss. I’m glad I found this site. I’ve been trying to be a strong mother for my kids because I know they hurt too. Youngest 14 girl is angry and secluded. Boy 22 is blocking it out and staying wide open. He went everywhere with us just like the other kid. God I hope this gets easier. It seems so much harder when you’ve never been away from them and they sleep with you and make every move you make because your at home with them or they are with you. I feel like I’ve lost part of me.
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CatLover72

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Reply with quote  #5 
Yes I understand and I feel the same. Frankie was my buddy and I had developed a bond with him. I knew what he needed and how to communicate with him. Like a person. I always looked for him and he looked for me. He had his mannerisms and now he’s gone I feel so lost and lonely. It’s incredibly hard to imagine ever feeling like I will feel normal again, but I’m sure I will, but he has changed me. He was missing all morning 2 days ago and I was alone at home. I tried to find him everywhere and eventually I did, but not in the way that I ever wanted to. It absolutely traumatized me and I am having such a hard time to stop crying constantly. I know how you feel and your headline to the post attracted me for that reason. We have to accept the reality of the situation, which we both know, but man, it’s so hard isn’t it. I’m always looking for him and I wake up waiting for him. Then the awful reality that he is gone hits me....again. I don’t want it to be true, but it is and it’s hard.
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CatLover72

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Reply with quote  #6 
Please be able to grieve and allow the grief to lead you to the healing which will come. It will take time and it will be exhausting. I am completely worn out. My mind is driving me crazy and my body is aching because it is so tired from the emotional stress. It’s not what I want or how I would choose to react but it’s just so sad and the loss of his presence is haunting me. I never imagined this ever happening and now it has. We always assume that they will always be there and when they get ripped away so quickly and so brutally it’s sooo painful. I am so sorry that we have to go through this but we do..let’s just try and do it with acceptance and with some respect for how our little friends would have wanted us to. It’s hard as hell but we have no choice.
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Sambobam

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Reply with quote  #7 
You are right he always wanted me happy and he let me know when he was tired of fighting. He was so strong and held on for me for a long time. He didn’t suffer he had lots of medicine and care he just started shutting downs and wound not eat so I looked him in the eyes and he let me know. I’m so sorry this hurts you. I have friends but they don’t understand to the point that this is like unbelievable pain even with a pet. And you are right we have no choice but to get through this hell somehow.
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CatLover72

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Reply with quote  #8 
The pain is incredible and it is mixed with all other kinds of emotions which are being constantly triggered by certain smells, sights and incidents. Meal times are the absolute worst and my wife has had to take over. Normally all 3 cats gathered and now it’s so obvious that he’s missing. To a certain extent we can create a fantasy that’s hes coming soon or is outside but the truth is that he isn’t. I had to bury him and so i know where he is and i know he’s not ever coming back. That is one of the hardest and saddest disappointments anybody can feel and we can not change it. We are being forced to deal with something that we are not well equipped to do. We just have to let the brain do it’s work and make the horrific events become more blurred with time. It doesn’t mean that we will ever forget them but we do need to move on as they would also want us to. We can’t change what has happened and it’s brutal but there have to be sunnier times ahead. Believe it. There are.
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Sambobam

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Reply with quote  #9 
Yes it’s got to get better. Well we have to believe that. We have another boxer that was a rescue I git 4 years ago that is being so good and we love him so we are clinging to him. I will see Sambo again and I won’t be carrying him he will be running and playing like he used to
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CatLover72

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Reply with quote  #10 
I just realized this morning that I have to let go but I don’t know how to. A large part of me wants desperately to keep the bond that we had but he is no longer here and so it is one-sided and he cannot possibly return my feelings anymore. It’s so hard to let go of the periods of joy that we experienced and sadly my subconscious is trying desperately to hold on to something that just doesn’t exist anymore in real-time. It did exist and it’s that part that I need to remember, but extending the misery won’t help. I don’t have the tools to let go just yet and it’s awful but I know I will. Letting go doesn’t mean that what happened has no meaning anymore, it does, but it’s not healthy to hold on too long. We need to be happy that what we had ever happened and be glad for the time we got to spend but accept that it cannot last forever and we need to move forwards with the next part of our journey. That’s what Frankie would want and he would also want me to love his brother and look after him. I will do this with all my heart and soon I will be able to release the chains that are holding me in this time trap. Please also think about how to let go. It will help you.
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kmayo99

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Reply with quote  #11 
I thank you guys for your kind, thoughtful words. It is hard but I know we will ALL get through this. Time will heal us all. 
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f_defillo1

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Reply with quote  #12 
So sorry for your loss. I lost my dog a month ago due to a car accident, he was only 1 1/2 years old. I took him in my arms to the Vet office but he was gone by then. I called wife and daughter who were out of state to give them the terrible news. I feel your pain. We decided to cremate him and burry hos ashes in the back yard. We cried during the short memorial. Still recovering one day at a time. Best wishes and you are not alone.
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CatLover72

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Reply with quote  #13 
It’s amazing how we all feel that the World has somehow ended, and we feel like we are the only ones who notice. I’ve been numb and confused since it happened and the anguish has been almost unbearable. I have forced myself to say ‘let him go’ each time I started to wander back to the depths and strangely there is some comfort in this phrase. We cannot hang on to what no longer exists in a physical sense, but with a little time we can start to understand that we have to accept what has happened, however bad, and let go. If we don’t, it will eat us up. We cannot change anything except how we see things and as hard as it is, please try. One day at a time, let go. Good luck everybody and I am heartbroken myself but we will all make it. Please lets keep going with the thread, it’s really helping. Thank you all.
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Pagmem

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Reply with quote  #14 
Hello everyone,

It is so painful. We grieve because we loved deeply and continue to do so. Love never dies, and sometimes I could swear my two furry family members are with me. Be gentle and patient with yourselves. We were all so fortunate to have known such unconditional love.

Blessings to you all,

Melissa

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Melissa
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Sambobam

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Reply with quote  #15 
Melissa that is so true. I love it! Nighttime seems to be really hard I guess because I can’t keep moving and keep my mind busy but can only for so long. And missing the snuggle buddy. I pray God brining us all peace and understanding.

Boxer mom to Sam 4 ever
Monica
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