CoopersMommy
The past week has been very calm for me emotionally. I'm not sure why. I just feel different about everything that's happened. I've had a couple crying episodes but for the most part, I've been ok.  Tomorrow is 14 weeks since we lost Coop and Thursday will be 100 days since I've seen my little man. Am I finally accepting it or is this just the calm before the storm?
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judylinn

I think youve done alot of grieving already, and then it calms down for awhile, I guess the grieving time gets less and less and thats what healing is. you will probably feel overwhelmed again at times, but it looks like the healing is happening. I just let it happen when it comes. for me it is still often as its almost 3 weeks, we love our babys sooo much. its so hard when they leave us.  Im glad youve had some calmer times.  be good to yourself.    Judy

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always_tuffy
So happy you are experiencing peace.
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal;
Love leaves a memory no one can steal.

Tuffy, My Puppy Love
June 20, 2005-July 26, 2010

Becky Leigh, Queen of my Heart
December 2010-November 10, 2015
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donnalee
CoopersMommy, I'm so very happy to hear you are doing better and I think it will continue in that direction.  I know it is has been so tough for you as it was for all of us.  I lost Scottie just a few weeks ahead of you so I can only speak from my experience but I found that after 10 weeks, when I got a definite sign, I started improving after that, and by 13 - 14 weeks, I had really calmed down emotionally.  At that point, I could talk about Scottie to neighbors and friends, and although I might feel a lump in my throat, I could contain it.  It's just as you say, though, you can still cry if something stirs you, and I think that is to be expected and is just fine.  I know one of my close life-long friends just lost her golden a few days ago.  She loved him so very much.  It was a painful ending for the golden and very traumatic for all.  She and her husband are devastated.  I was upset all day thinking about what they are going through.  It also brought back memories but also made me thankful that I could truly empathize because now I understood what others go through with this kind of loss.  I didn't really understand before because I had not experienced it. 
So, I guess we are both making our way through the grieving process and healing.  Of course, we will never stop loving and missing them!  
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tikibarb
The healing is bittersweet.  Some days I wonder what it is I am feeling.  I think it is a healing heart.  
Barbara Lyngarkos
My Beloved Ted 8/7/2005 - 7/7/10
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/TED001/Resident.htm
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harvey
I'm glad you're better. I find myself going along well, and then I have a particular thought about Sam, and that's all it takes. Healing is a slow process.
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CoopersMommy
Things are still going ok, for the most part. But I'm starting to dwell on things lately. I keep going back to that day Cooper died and the phone call I made to my husband. I was so shocked, I didn't warn him or ease into it. I woke him up and immediately said "Cooper died". I wish I could go back and change that. It haunts me. Anyway, I've been dealing with the complaint with my vet and a potential settlement. It's pretty much taken care of. But I really want to send the vet a letter, telling him how I feel. We sent one when Cooper first died, but I feel like this would be closure. But I know if I do, it will be difficult not to be nasty. I'm just not sure if I should send it or just let it go.
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tikibarb
You should write the letter and hold onto it for a few days before you mail it.  That will give you the chance to tone it down if you feel the need.  As much as we all want to be nasty to your Vet, it probably would be counter-productive.  I hope that a heartfelt letter to them would at least let them feel the life-altering impact that they have had on you and your family.  I would also use that power of 7.  You tell 7 people, they each tell 7 people and so on...that would certainly send a message, right to their pocketbooks. 
Barbara Lyngarkos
My Beloved Ted 8/7/2005 - 7/7/10
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/TED001/Resident.htm
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Lisasjf
CoopersMommy If I were in your position I would still be so angry at that Vet. Years ago I had a problem with My Halfie that was skin related. At about a year old she started loosing her hair on her hind flanks. I can't tell you how many vets i took her too for answers and what I could do to help her, I got angry at so many of those Vets that had stupid reasons and stupid suggestions, Finally in time tho I found a vet that finally told me exactly what it was. Actually a new diet took care of the problem and in the last year, her hair was finally starting to grow back. Through my experiences tho I've learned that there are some really bad Vets out there. And somethings tells me that your letter even if you sent it the way it is, probably wont amount to much with that vet. My Opinion? Send the letter. Letters in themselves can be healing and I think you should tell them exactly how you feel. Maybe somehow it will strike a cord in them. Maybe in the future they'll think a little more carefully about what they do to the animals we love so much, and maybe, just maybe they'll become better Vets because of your letter! 
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Lisasjf
CoopersMommy If I were in your position I would still be so angry at that Vet. Years ago I had a problem with My Halfie that was skin related. At about a year old she started loosing her hair on her hind flanks. I can't tell you how many vets i took her too for answers and what I could do to help her, I got angry at so many of those Vets that had stupid reasons and stupid suggestions, Finally in time tho I found a vet that finally told me exactly what it was. Actually a new diet took care of the problem and in the last year, her hair was finally starting to grow back. Through my experiences tho I've learned that there are some really bad Vets out there. And somethings tells me that your letter even if you sent it the way it is, probably wont amount to much with that vet. My Opinion? Send the letter. Letters in themselves can be healing and I think you should tell them exactly how you feel. Maybe somehow it will strike a cord in them. Maybe in the future they'll think a little more carefully about what they do to the animals we love so much, and maybe, just maybe they'll become better Vets because of your letter! 
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CoopersMommy
I've decided to wait a little while to think about the letter. We wrote one right after Cooper's death. I may write one final one but I think I will wait a little longer to decide. Yesterday was "dog day" at our local pool and we took our babies. It was hard going without Cooper. He didn't like the water that much but he was there last year and I was just sad going without him. But we had fun. Both the dogs loved it. It was a good day. I just miss my boy. I guess that will never change.
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donnalee

Yep.  I don't think that will ever change.    I've accepted it but I miss my boy everyday, too.  Still so sorry you had to lose him that way. 

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