11 years ago today, a Jack Russell cross called Buster came through our doors and changed our lives forever. He was 6 when we rescued him: his previous family were made homeless and couldn't take Buster on their journey. We had a snug home and lots of love to give, and were glad to have his company.
Since that day, Buster has been my best pal in the world. He's intelligent, oozes cheek, fun and, above all, is a caring, loving dog. I could never imagine my life without him and his antics. He loves kisses and cuddles, walks and playing and looking over us. He truly is the best wee pal anyone could hope for.
Unfortunately, my worse fears came true as Buster crossed the Rainbow Bridge on Friday, just a couple of days short of his 17th "birthday". He had been suffering from arthritis, and despite medication, the pain was just too much. It had been affecting his behaviour, and the onset of dementia was a possibility. We had to take the heartbreaking decision to help him on his journey.
I am glad that he is no longer in pain, but extremely sore that he is no longer with us. I wish I could take him out for a walk again, play with him in the garden and give him his favourite treats once more. I wish I could look into his loving, trusting eyes, hug him, kiss him and tell him he's my good boy one more time.
My heart is broken. I feel that I will never be happy again.
I'm not looking for sympathy or for anyone to tell me it'll be alright. I just needed to say this. I stumbled across this page when looking at ways to cope, and I think it's a great place, and a beautiful thing for anyone to put together to help people in pain at the loss of their furry friends. But I'm not hear to mope.
I just wanted to write my feelings down, and put it into the universe in the hope that Buster will somehow get my message: I love you pal. I've always loved you and always will. You're the best pal I've ever had and I love you so much. You're a good boy! You're not in pain anymore. I'm sorry we couldn't make you more comfortable. We tried our best and hope you know that. I'm sorry you didn't go for walks all the time. I know you were restless, but I didn't want to risk our bad weather making you more ill. I hope you know that. I don't want you to think you were a burden, or that we couldn't be bothered - we loved you so much, and I'd do anything to have you here and well, but it was so sore to see you in such pain and discomfort. You're free of that now pal. Run free, be happy! Play with new friends, eat and drink all the stuff you want and have fun. Thank you for letting us be your humans! Thank you for looking after us, making us happy and making sure we were alright. You did a great job, and I will never forget you. We will never forget you. When you sleep, dream of good things - and when the day comes, I hope to meet you on that bridge so we can be together again. I LOVE YOU BUSTER!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. 'NIGHT 'NIGHT PAL, SLEEP TIGHT xxxxx
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