I picked up my Chloe today.  Just the thought of knowing they would be calling was enough to make me sick the past 2 days.  It's official, my baby is really gone.  Her cute little butterball body is now dust.  I was sad and cried as I entered the vet where she left me, but I calmed down quicker than usual.  This past week or so, I've cried and sobbed like I never have before, the kind that tweaks your face and makes you catch your breath.
I have felt better today than before.  The tears don't come so fast, it doesn't feel like there is a knife in my chest though the nausea is still there in waves.  It felt good to cry as I got her box as it's hard holding it in all day when my mind drifts at work to her last moments.  I had more breaks from thinking of it which is a relief, not that I want to forget her ever.
It was strange this morning, I woke up and had this strange calm feeling.  I had felt uncharacteristically warm during the night as it gets a bit chilly lately, and somehow when I woke up it felt like Chloe had slept beside me.  Instead of waking up in a panic though when I remembered she was gone, I felt a bit of peace thinking she was still there.  I'm hoping this is a sign that I will heal because I am still in such shock and grief that I wonder when I will go a day without crying.  I wonder when I will be able to answer "fine" without tearing up when someone says "how are you?"  I still see my baby in glances.  I wish I could squeeze and spoon her one more time.  I don't know if that will go away, but I hope she has peace and that I will soon.
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I am so sorry that your Chloe is gone. I had to put my Simba (16 year old black lonhaired cat) down Sunday morning. I can relate to the gut wrenching feeling you are experiencing.

I had a similiar experience in April of 2008 when my Little Bit crossed the bridge at 13. I can tell you that there will come a point when you will begin to heal and the "waves" of shock and grief will come less and less. The sun will shine again, it will for you and it will for me.

Just be comforted by the fact that your Chloe is at peace and exploring her new home, with my Simba, in that bright, beautiful land just over Rainbows Bridge.

You are in my prayers.


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I had to put my dog Freddie down this past Monday. I know exactly how you are feeling. It is so hard to go to work and smile all day like nothing is wrong, when inside I feel like I am falling apart. Freddie was a part of my life for 18 years, and it has been so hard to wake up without him next to me.
Every time someone asks "How are you?" I can barely nod and mumble okay because what I really want to tell them is that I am heartbroken without my Freddie.
I am hoping once I pick up his ashes and feel him near me again I will feel more calm, because the past 2 days have been awful.
I know that Freddie is up there with Chloe and they are watching over us as  fur angels. Blessings to you and your Chloe.

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I know how you all are feeling. I lost D.O.G. on dec 8th 2009 yesterday my husbend bought home his ashes, the place that took care of him made a clay print of his paw, when I saw it I just about lost it, I could remmeber how his feet smelled like french fries. It's been three weeks today, I am very sad and I am not sure when the pain will get easier...... I just want him back...

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Miss Candy77,

                   My heart goes out to you, I have tears rolling down my cheek. Don't you wish there was something to take away the pain. Wanting to see them ,hold them and hear them can be overwhelming. I set up a little memorial for my little one, it helped so much. When I came in I would lite a candle whihc was next to her photo and ashes. I'm still doing it. It gives my some relief on some level. Take care.
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