Pompey
Miley was my 10 year old, beautiful,Silver dapple miniature Dachshund. We took her our vets the end of June as we thought she’d slipped a disc, she was referred to a specialist vets for mri.

My world fell apart later that day as we were told it wasn’t a disc problem,Miley had a massive cancerous tumour which had started in her nose and was so aggressive it had gone through her skull and into her brain.

She survived the anaesthetic and we discussed treatment options,we were told with palliative care she would have about 2 months but chemo and radiotherapy were also an option.Miley was sent home with us with lots of different medication which to start with she took.

Unfortunately, she kept on being sick but it was just masses of blood,a few days later on the Saturday she refused to take any medication even if it was wrapped in ham.Her eyes looked different and when she tried to drink she’d face plant her water,my gorgeous girl had lost her sight.

We discussed as a family and made the choice to not to let her suffer anymore,so on the 13/07/19 we said goodbye.

After we drove with her to the pet undertakers,she looked so peaceful laid in her casket in the chapel.

I feel so much guilt at taking her to our vets to be put to sleep,I cuddled her constantly crying,saying I didn’t want to do it.
I’ve cried every single day,there is not a minute I don’t think of her
All I picture her is suffering those last few days, she had shown no signs of being so poorly, it’s almost as if I’m blaming myself, could I have done something???

It’s so horrible without her, we had her from a puppy,she was so good and had some adorable and funny little ways.
I never knew that losing her would be so awful and hurt so much.

I have 2 other miniature dachshunds that we rescued 18 months ago and she was so good with them, they seem ok without her, it’s just me, when does it start to get easier?I haven’t felt this way even when family members have passed.

Xx
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Jan_H
I am so very sorry for your loss of sweet, beautiful Miley. It is normal to feel guilty and have "what if", "shoulda", "coulda" thoughts. It is so very difficult to make that final decision for our pets but we do it out of love to end their suffering. Last month I had to make that decision for my sweet Jagger. He also had cancer and was suffering and I knew the suffering would get worse. It was heartbreaking but it does get easier over time. It is hard at first but try to remember the good times with Miley instead of her final days. And spend time with you little dachshunds. They can provide comfort.

My condolences,
Jan
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Memories_of_Marmalade

My Dearest Hayley,

I am very sorry & saddened to read and to learn of your recent loss. Miley certainly was a good looking lass. Thank you for sharing a part of her story and her photo image with us here.

"Miley was my 10 year old, beautiful, Silver dapple miniature Dachshund."

I think it is important to fully realize and remember that a dog's lifespan in the wild (and we are talking about a mid-size to larger size dog) is only about "10" years on average. By we humans adopting a dog (or a cat) we usually expand their natural lifespan. We do this by providing them with shelter (against predators and the weather / elements), providing them with regular food and fresh water, the occasional trip to the Vet's (and possible treatments / medications etc.) and love, affection and companionship (which is so important to overall health and well-being.) So your Miley lived a very full and natural lifespan. The bottomline that we must all remember is dogs (and cats) are not biologically designed or engineered, to live as long as they do, when they are domesticated, which is why when their bodies begin to breakdown.

"My world fell apart later that day as we were told it wasn’t a disc problem,Miley had a massive cancerous tumour which had started in her nose and was so aggressive it had gone through her skull and into her brain."

I believe my boy (an orange & white Tabby cat named "Marmalade") had an undiagnosed brain tumor. He had been injured in a Tom-Cat fight, defending his girlfriend cat named "Star" and his left ear bled for months, prior to my having him undergo an invasive ear canal surgery and having his canal cauterized. He had a stroke on the operating table and never fully recovered. But I believe something else was wrong. His head twitched, his left inner-eyelid would drop down at random and he would stare off into space etc.

"She survived the anaesthetic and we discussed treatment options,we were told with palliative care she would have about 2 months but chemo and radiotherapy were also an option.Miley was sent home with us with lots of different medication which to start with she took."

My ex and I tried Chemo at a cost of $4,000 for our cat named "Dusty" back in 1999/2000 and it did not work. All if did was make her much, much, much sicker. Vet's and Animal Hospitals know full-well about the pet's average lifespan issue mentioned above and sadly tend to (quite often) "cash-out" at the end of pets lives. They know full-well that the pet parents are fearful of death and grief. I am not saying all Vet's, I'm saying most Vet's.

As a few Vet's I read were quoted: "You treat one thing, it triggers another." They know this. They often expect a downward turn in a pet's condition.

"Unfortunately, she kept on being sick but it was just masses of blood, a few days later on the Saturday she refused to take any medication even if it was wrapped in ham. Her eyes looked different and when she tried to drink she’d face plant her water,my gorgeous girl had lost her sight."

When an animal is vomiting blood? Refusing medication? Can no longer drink? And loses their eyesight? It is time to end their pain & suffering. There is a saying here that goes something like this:

"When we chose to show our beloved pet's mercy, and end their pain & suffering, we then take their pain & suffering onto ourselves. We transfer it to ourselves. We absorb it. Then we process that pain and suffering through our grief. And time passing, is necessary in order to do so."


"I feel so much guilt at taking her to our vets to be put to sleep,I cuddled her constantly crying, saying I didn’t want to do it. I’ve cried every single day, there is not a minute I don’t think of her. All I picture her is suffering those last few days, she had shown no signs of being so poorly, it’s almost as if I’m blaming myself, could I have done something???

These are all natural thoughts and feelings. Again, it is the process of grieving. Each of us here is experiencing similar thoughts, feelings, emotions, observations and reflections. You are in the process of moving through your grief. Please know and remember that you are not alone. We are ALL with you in spirit and comradeship.

"It’s so horrible without her, we had her from a puppy,she was so good and had some adorable and funny little ways."

Yes, it is so interesting how their funny little ways are so unique (even quirky at times) to each of our beloved's and then in other ways they are very similar to each of our individual pets. They have the same little, silly quirks. Why? We do not know. It is a lovely and enchanting mystery. : )

"I never knew that losing her would be so awful and hurt so much."

Yes. Many here feel the same way including myself. I have grieved more for my "Marmalade" than for any family member, friend or close colleague. And I am an older man so have lost my fair share of people in my life. But my boy never lied to me, betrayed me, used me, was disloyal to me, judged me, gossiped about me, plotted over me, etc. He was noble, dignified, loyal and true. 

"I have 2 other miniature dachshunds that we rescued 18 months ago and she was so good with them, they seem ok without her, it’s just me, when does it start to get easier? I haven’t felt this way even when family members have passed."

As the saying goes - "There is no timeline on grief." However, that being said, this forum is proof positive that people DO heal from their grief and eventually, predominantly remember only there most cherished, happiest, most loving and fondest memories of their lost beloved's. So "This too shall pass."

Kindest regards & my sincerest condolences,
James
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