BigWigsMom77
I lost yesterday perhaps my best friend, I found out that he had crf and he started to get tremors but he fought he was a warrior. His name was BigWig, he found me about 6 years ago, I put up flyers and ad's on craigs list but no one ever came forward, so i kept him. For 6 years 1 month 3 days and 9.5 hours he gave me laughs and unconditional love even at the end he just kept fighting but I knew that the sun was setting and it would be selfish for me to keep him here for me.  I guess my question is how do you cope? I am truly broken right now.
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allies_mom4ever
I understand your pain. I lost my Allie girl on 9/25/14 at 2:51pm and I'm debilitated with pain and grief. I cannot imagine living my life without her. So, know that others are sharing in your grief.
Miss you Allie 
December 2003 - September 25, 2014

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BigWigsMom77
@allies_mom4ever

Thank You. That means so much to me. I am very sorry for your loss as well.
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ElisMom
I'm so sorry and I am right there with you. I had to put my beloved boy of 15 years down on Sunday and have been devastated ever since. The pain is the deepest I've ever felt. Looking through old photos from the past and remembering the good times is helping me to get through, but it's still so very raw.
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Charliesmommy
I'm so sorry that you had to say goodbye to your precious Big Wig.  :(

I had to make the decision for my Charlie on 9/4 and I was devastated.  The only way I have been coping is one day at a time and in the first few days, one hour or even one minute at a time.  I still shed a few tears every day but the uncontrollable crying has stopped.  At first, I couldn't look at his pictures or spend much time thinking about him but I am finding that to be a little easier now.  As our fur babies occupy huge spaces of our hearts and we are so bonded to them, the hurt runs deep.  I found this forum shortly after saying goodbye to my buddy and its been comforting to talk to others who understand where I'm at.

Again, I am so sorry for your loss and for Allies Mom and ElisMom's losses as well,

hugs,
Tammy
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BigWigsMom77
@Elismom

Thanks  I am sorry for your loss as well. 

Never in a million years would I have thought I could be brought to my knees by a pain this deep,  but I have realized over the past day or so that this is what LOVE truly is unconditional,raw and unfiltered; he taught me that it is okay to just lay in the middle of the living room floor on your back with the sun shining on your belly and listen to Bob Seger (Turn the Page was his favorite song) and just lay there and breathe. I have become fearless and now I do not fear my end as much because I know he is there waiting for me wondering what took me so long.  I will say a prayer for all who have lost a true friend.
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patent123
Saying goodbye to your best friend is the worst.  I don't think anything really prepares us for it.  Once its done moving on is never easy it seems near impossible.  You did an amazing thing taking him in, trying to find his previous family, and finally making him a member of the family. 

I lost my dog on Sept 11 of this year.  The first two weeks were horrible.  I cried non stop and my every thought was of her.  I have deep regrets, sadness, and this horrible empty feeling.  I thought perhaps I was accepting things I had a couple good days.  I was wrong once again I miss my friend so very much.  My point is you will have days were you feel so low and days that seem like you might be ok sad but ok.  

Best advice is to let yourself cry.  Everyone of us here has our moments where our heart breaks all over again.  Talk about your feelings and let it out.  Many of us don't have a friend or family member we can openly vent to or cry to because many just don't really understand the deep bond we had with our friends.  Thats why this place is so amazing.  Everyone is in the same boat.  Just remember to take your time to grieve.  Never forget your Bigwig loved you so much and he knew how much you loved him.  With time you will heal like we all will.  The sadness and loss will always be there but a time will come when you can smile upon your memories and not be overtaken by the heartache. 

I hope you find some peace soon.  
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BigWigsMom77
@patent123  @CharliesMommy

Thank you for the support, I am glad I found a place where people really do get it, they were not just animals they are family. Thank you.
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Katel
Dear BigWigsMom

My deepest sympathies to you.  i know what you are going through and the heart-breaking pain of loss.  In fact we all do here which is why I come back so often for comfort.  Patent's lovely words are  so wise and I am taking it on board myself too.   I lost my Charlie girl dog 6 months ago and am soon to lose
my Danny boy dog so i do feel overwhelmed at times.  I can't really add to what Patent says except to say i'm so sorry you are going through this and i wish for you peace and healing in time,

Blessings,
Kate 
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patent123
They say there is one dog for every person.  I think Bigwig knew his person was still out there.  I like that you said he found you.  It brings a little meaning to the words everything happens for a reason.  I to feel my girl found me.  It amazes me how perfectly the world lined up the day I crossed my dogs path.  It was the happiest day of my life! I am sure you feel the same way to Katel about Charlie and Danny.  Each day it shocks me how lucky I was to find my dog and enjoy life with her.  It also rocks my world that she is gone.  

I am still trying to find the reason for her dying and how she had to go.  The only thing I learned is to be more vigilant on future dogs behaviors and injuries and perhaps to cherish each day more.  Katel you've lost your girl recently and now you face saying goodbye to Danny soon.  Best advice to you is do everything with him you wish you could have done with Charlie.  I have many regrets and wish I could have done some special things during my pups final days or hours.  I now know to do so with any future pet.  I to may soon face the loss of another my very senior cat has been acting odd lately.  I don't know if its old age or just him missing his doggy friend.  It saddens me to know someday I will let him go to.  

I hope Bigwig, Charlie, and Fairchild are up there playing a little tug of war, snuggling together, or just running along a beach.  I recently made a Fairchild book on Shutterfly.com  Its full of ALL of our adventures and photos from start to finish. Its a way to preserve our life together and a reminder of what happiness we had.   
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BigWigsMom77
@patent123 and @Katel  I apologize for the lateness of this response. This past weekend was my first without my hiking buddy and it was hard, very hard, after eating my weight in chocolate, ice cream, pizza and chips I decided that I needed to focus my energy somewhere else so I have decided to run a marathon. Bigwig loved to run with me, he actually got me into running and I can think of no better way to keep his memory alive. @patent123 it is crazy that Bigwig found me, he just showed up one day and that changed my life forever. You mentioned a future pet and to be honest I do not think I will ever get another pet, for me that was it, I hear people say just "get another one" and that is not so easy that is like telling a parent who lost a child to get another one. @Katel I will keep you in my prayers as I know it is tough.
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Miming
sorry to hear about your loss.
I'm also suffering because of the passing of my cat, Miming.
it's hard to cope up and move on, when you are at home it's not the same.
it's so empty. I hope someday we can find peace in our hearts.
 
Hi I'm Jessie, Mother of Miming
I love you baby.. My happiness, my bliss..forever in my heart..
Miming
(May 20, 2014 to October 7, 2014)
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patent123
@Bigwig- I think running in memory of your friend is a great idea! In some neighboring towns near me they have running programs with shelter dogs.  I often have thought about maybe participating in that in some way. (my dog was as lazy as they come but she loved a slow easy going walk) I feel the same about future pets.  Its hard to even think about it and honestly it kind of disgusted me to think of someone new enjoying her home.  Mostly because I still miss her so much.  However, my mom recently surprised my daughter with a puppy for her birthday.  Surprise to me as well.  I am learning that every animal is special in its own way.  I know my FC will be extra special to me like bigwig was to you.  There is just a connection that we form with certain animals more then others.  I will cherish our bond forever.  I hope with time my daughter develops that special friendship with her new puppy like I did my FC.  I think everyone who loves animals deserves that...and all animals deserve their special human.  How lucky we were to have found our friends.  I never felt so lucky or grateful until I found my FC. I agree with what you said about just getting another dog.  It really is not that easy! Recently my friend asked how I was doing after losing my FC.  She compared it to a break up with a boyfriend.  With time we just get over it and get another.  I explained to her how wrong she was.  I told her it was exactly like having a death in the family.  You get heartbroken for a much deeper reason.  You don't just get over it.  With time the pain becomes easier but the love and loss is always there.  

Firsts without your faithful friend by your side are so hard.  I am still having them myself.  I still get depressed daily and think back to all the special moments with my friend.  The only thing holding me together is the fact I have a kid to take care of.  Like you I don't know if I will ever have another dog to call my own and cherish like I did my FC.  For now though I will do my best to let my daughter get that with our new family member.  I hope you find some comfort soon.   Good luck on your future marathon Bigwig will be by your side the entire time. 
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BigWigsMom77
@patent123 another animal is not in the picture for me anywhere in the near future so I can totally relate. I hope your daughter enjoys her new little friend.

@miming I am very sorry for your loss
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