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Hoosier

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Posts: 2
Reply with quote  #1 
I'm not really sure where to begin, but here goes. On 9/12/19, my boyfriend's dog (Sadie) attacked my 2 dogs (Oliver and Winnie). My boyfriend's dog is a 70 lb pitbull mix. Mine are 10 lb chihuahuas. These dogs have all lived together for a while without any major incidents. I was home alone when it happened. I heard a noise and ran outside. At first, I didn't even understand what was happening. I thought Ollie was just laying down in the grass. Once I got to him he was bleeding from the neck and was already gone. As I'm processing what happened with Oliver, Sadie then started chasing after my other dog, Winnie. Sadie picked Winnie up in her mouth and started shaking her viciously. I was chasing her and screaming louder than I ever have before in my life. Once I finally caught up to Sadie, I tried pulling Sadie's mouth open to release Winnie. She did not want to let go. That pitbull lockjaw thing is no joke. My neighbor heard the noise and ran outside to see what was going on. I honestly don't even know how it happened, but Winnie somehow got away from Sadie. I could tell she was badly hurt - bleeding from the neck and walking sideways. Winnie ran inside and hid under the couch. At this point, I was on the brink of hyperventilating the passing out. My neighbor called my boyfriend at work and told him to come home ASAP.  We were able to get me bandaged up (I had cuts and scrapes all over my hands and legs) and get Winnie to the vet. To my complete surprise, we found that her neck wasn't broken. After weeks of meds and rest, it seems like she is going to be ok. I am so lucky that Winnie survived, but now I can't stop reliving the horrible attack. I keep seeing and hearing it over and over again. Every time I see something that reminds me of Ollie, I'm sent into that deep, dark pain all over again. 

Sadie is no longer living with us- my boyfriend's parents took her in. Our home feels so empty and quiet with both her and Oliver gone. I still truly don't even understand what happened to cause this. I have so much guilt over Oliver dying. It was so senseless. I feel like I should have been able to protect him and prevent this tragedy. I'm grappling with a lot of emotions and have even begun counseling to help get through this. My boyfriend was very caring for the first week or so, but now he doesn't understand why I can't "get over it". Last night he walked in the room to me crying and said "oh, we're doing this again?". I was so upset by that statement and tried to have a conversation with him about it. He says he loves me, but this is how he speaks to someone he loves while they're having a hard time?! He's even "joked" that maybe one day I will get over it and Sadie can come back to live with us. I've made it very clear that I will never live under the same roof as her again. I'm even afraid of my reaction if I see her when we go to visit his family. I know my pain/anger/fear will subside with time, but right now I don't know how to move forward with my life. All of this makes me question my relationship and if we can survive this. 

Any tips you can share that might help me process and deal with all of this would be greatly appreciated.
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camunki

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Reply with quote  #2 
I am so sorry this happened to your sweet Oliver and thankfully your Winnie is ok. I don't even know what to say. However, I am glad Sadie is with your bf's parents. This was a horrible tragedy, unplanned and from what you said of Oliver, Winnie and Sadie living together and no prior incidents, I am not sure what set off Sadie to go into this horrible attack on your precious chihuahuas.

I am glad you are in counseling because this is a difficult situation to live with. You bf should have more empathy for you and the loss of your sweet Oliver. Please don't let his words get you down. Oliver is your baby and I am sure you will be consumed with blame and many tears for the upcoming months. Again, this was not preplanned so please try not to blame yourself, this happened in an instant and you were outside doing your best to save and protect your babies.

My heart goes out to you at this time. I do know the more you post on these threads, it will take away that alone feeling. We are all here for support and comfort knowing this path we call grieving is a very difficult one. So please keep posting............((((hugs your way))))

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Living_with_tragedy

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Reply with quote  #3 
Hello Hoosier,

(I also sent you a private message.) 

I want to tell you I am so deeply sorry for what you have experienced and for what happened to both of your dogs.  It it shocking and horrific. I am glad that Winnie survived, but extremely sad about Ollie.  I cannot imagine seeing what you did.   

Please do not listen to anyone who tells you to "get over it."  No one should ever tell you how to feel.  Remember that.  You feel the way you want and need to. You grieve as long as you want and need to.  You went through a horrible experience.  You witnessed it.  I had nightmares of my dog freaking out at the vet, the vet who killed him.  It's possible you may have nightmares, too, especially from seeing it happen. This is a tragic experience. I feel so bad for you and Ollie. I am so, so sorry.  It breaks my heart.  

Come to this forum for comfort.  Everyone here is caring and understands.  Remember, you are entitled to grieve any way you want and for as long as you want.  There are no timelines.  You are entitled to feel the way you do.  No one can tell you how to feel.  You will heal at your own pace, not by what other people tell you.  

I wish I had all the right things to say. I wish I had the power to bring our little ones back to us.  I wish none of this happened.

You take care of yourself.  Thinking of you.  

~  Parker's Mom 

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Stealthcat

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Reply with quote  #4 
I am so very sorry this happened to you and your little ollie. I can't imagine seeing what you did and going through what you did.

Your boyfriend shouldn't be saying those comments while you are grieving, not if he understands how devastating it is. I do wonder if he has a lot of guilt about his dog doing what she did to Ollie. I know I'd feel guilty if I was him honestly. Doesn't mean he should say those things to you, but I imagine your grief can intensify his guilt?

Overall, you shouldn't feel guilty over what happened. It's horrifying, but not your fault at all. You had zero indication that anything like this would happen. And when it did, you tried to help. That's really all you could do.

I hope things work out for you, I really do. And please continue sharing in here if/when you need to. We all know how saddening the loss can be, even if our experiences were different than yours.

Best wishes to you.
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Hoosier

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Reply with quote  #5 
Thank you all for reaching out. This has been the most difficult month of my life. I didn't know my heart and soul could hurt like this. Every day I'm working on coming to terms with what happened. I wish I could understand why. I suppose life isn't always fair and doesn't always make sense.

It might sound silly, but I would love to find a way to make a little legacy for Ollie. I've been trying to think of ways to do something positive to help other animals out there. I think I need to look into volunteering at the local animal shelter. Although I am so wracked with guilt and sadness, it breaks my heart even further to think of all the other animals out there without loving homes. Have any of you found an activity or something that helps bring you a sliver of peace and hope? Keeping myself distracted is the only way I've been able to keep myself from crying nonstop. 
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Gingers_Mommy

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Posts: 124
Reply with quote  #6 
Hi Hoosier,

My condolences for Ollie's death, and I hope Winnie"s been recovering well. Having Sadie removed was a good decision. I'm sorry about your boyfriend's reaction. I don't know if his reaction is out of insensitivity or guilt or if he might also be hurting over Ollie or not so I won't make further remarks in that aspect.

In reference to volunteering, I would like to share the following: I've always known that I would adopt another pet. I've been an animal lover all my life. Even while my baby girl was alive whenever I would go to Petco to buy her things I would always stop by and look at the other cats that were up for adoption praying that they would find their forever homes one day. Well on Sunday I went to see them and somehow ended up volunteering for a few hours. It was very rewarding work. My soul felt lighter than it has in days. It does not replace and will not ever replace my baby girl Ginger, but it did my heart so much good to help those other ones without a forever home. To let them out the cages and let them play and interact. It's different for everyone though. To me and for some others being around and seeing other animals brought light and comfort to our pain. For others though it could have the exact opposite reaction. It's a very individual decision as we are all just as different and diverse as our beloved pets were. Whatever decision you come I hope you keep us all posted.
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