On October 4th 2019, I had to put the love of my life, my furry soul mate, my hairy baby, to sleep. He was only 4. His name was Bob. He was my first cat. It was out of the blue and it destroyed me. I am not the same person anymore.
For the past 9 months I’ve been dealing with insurmountable amounts of pain, anger, and sadness. The question that plagues me is did I make the right decision? Everyone in my family, my husband, the emergency vet, said I did what was best for Bob. They told me he was in pain, they told me he might not make it though the emergency surgery anyway. I couldn’t let him suffer just because I needed him. I couldn’t risk him dying with strangers around him. So I held him and kissed his furry nose and let them take his pain and I live with it every single day.
All I think about is what more could I have done? Why couldn’t I save him? I would have given half my life to save his. I was willing to go bankrupt to save him. My husband says I have to let go of the regret because it’s tearing me apart. I’m trying, but I don’t know how my heart will ever recover from this.