So the last two days have been better i have cried only a few times but I'm finding myself smiling more and thinking about macky in a not so sad way .
I feel blessed to of had macky in my life he taught me patience , unconditional love and how to be less selfish . But I did not realise untill tonight that he taught me something that I will never EVER forget , he showed me how strong i was , i am , i will not go in to detail but just over two years ago i suffered a severe life changing trauma that changed me completely and cause of that I struggled more then I thought was possible .
I kept myself from cracking , going crazy for macky i had to as he needed me to care for him as his age was catching up to him quite fast . I never wanted to let him down , in my head i couldnt let him down . I'm loyal and so was he he had my back so i had his till the end , over those two years i was afraid and lost but he made me keep going to Suck it up so to speak.
So there it is Thank you to my beautiful sweet strong headed smelly boy Macky Moo , you showed me something I will use till I take my last breath i can't thank you now but one day i will .
Mum loves you more then words
This photo is the last day we had on this earth together and dispite his tiredness and pain he still kissed me like always I think this was our last kiss on the lips " yes I let my animals lip kiss me
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I totally get what you mean - having to take care of our little buddies brings out something in us we often don't know we have. Stay strong. I let my Coco kiss me on the lips too. Seems like a great pup!
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It takes time, but we do gradually recover. 
Bertie's Daddy
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Two days for me too. Today Jack's ashes will be returned to me and I know thats going to set me off, but at least I'll have him home again.

Love and healing to you Mackysmum ❤❤
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Thanks everyone
It's strange how grief works I find myself feeling guilt if im having better days as if I should feel terrible always . I know macky wouldn't want me to feel terrible but my mind makes me feel guilty , i guess time takes care of that .
I miss macky very much that never changes its very sad he can't be with me now in present to enjoy his walks and his dinner and treats, his chew toys and the massive kisses and big bear hugs he always gave me they were the best .
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