Lavana
My beloved Baxter,

It's been nearly two weeks since you left us, Baxter, and my heart is still breaking. Tears come too quickly to my eyes when I think of you and how your passing has left such a void in our lives.
 
You came to us shortly after my father died, along with your brother Bruno. Such cute little kittens you were! After you'd been with us for a couple of months, I realized that when you slept, you snored just like my father used to! I would joke with my friends that Dad had been reincarnated as my cat, Baxter. I didn't really believe it, and yet there was something so special about you, that even now, I wonder. You and my father were the two most loving beings I've ever known. You gave so much love, and expected nothing in return but to be loved back.
 
When my father died, I didn't really have a chance to really say goodbye to him, it all happened so quickly. I shed a few tears, but didn't really cry, even though he had been the most important person in my life. So when you died, Baxter, it was as if the flood gates opened. I cried my heart out, not just for you, but for him as well. I guess in way, this is a gift you've given me, to be able to finally really say goodbye and to mourn both of you. 
 
Dearest Baxter....thank you for being such a good friend. If you see my dad, wherever you are, please let him know how much I love him and miss him. And know that I'll never, ever forget you, my most special of cats. 

PS - Bruno misses you so much. He lies on the arm of the sofa all day, chin on the cushion, and legs on either side. Sometimes I hear him plaintively mewing, alone in the living room. I think he's calling for you. 
 


[Baxter4ever] 
Baxter


Quote 0 0
Katel
Oh my goodness,  how adorable was Baxter ....  that dear little face. I am quite sure he and your dad have found each other and are both watching over you.   I understand how it took Baxter's passing to bring out all your grief, life sometimes happens that way.  It is a big loss for you to have lost two such loving beings in your life and I'm so sorry.  Poor little Bruno is fretting right now but in time and with your loving he will be ok.  I pray you will find peace.
Quote 0 0
Lavana
Thanks so much for your kind words, Katel. They mean a lot to me right now.

The pain is easing, but there's definitely a small, cat-shaped hole in my world. He was a special one, for sure. Bruno still seems to be mourning, I think it's going to take some time for him. He's moved from the arm of the sofa to the top of the speaker next to the TV. A small step :) Perhaps next week Bruno will be back to his old tricks and we can laugh again. 
Quote 0 0
mcianchette
Baxter looks like quite the character...loaded with personality!  This is just a beautiful story.  The loss of both is hard, but to realize that there could be a connection between the two and that Baxter gave you the gift of releasing emotions and finding some peaceful closure is a true blessing!  I had a similar life adjusting experience after recently putting down one of our dogs, Winston.  I feel blessed to have made a positive connection to his passing and feel like it's actually helped the healing process.  And in an odd way, he lives on in a different way, because of the lesson I learned!  Winston left a brother behind...he's struggled as well, but gradually healing too!  Give yourself and Bruno all the time you need to heal - it's a process.  Blessings to both of you!  
Winston and Ike's Mom
Quote 0 0
Lavana
Thank you, Winston and Ike's Mom! It is funny how things like that can be -  the connection we have with our pets. It's been over two weeks now, and my daughter and I were IM'ing about Baxter and I started tearing up at work! Baxter was a character. I've had a lot of precious pets over my life, but none have approached his level. 

Blessings to you as well! 

~Lavana
Quote 0 0
MissMyPup
I lost MY Baxter (dog) just a few days ago. We have been a crying mess since then. Just when I think things are getting better, it gets bad again. Here's hoping the pain eases soon for both of us. Hugs. <3
Quote 0 0
Lavana
Hi MissMyPup - Our sweet Baxters.....it's hard to imagine life without them. My pain is easing, as will yours one day. I think my roommate and I spent at least a week breaking out into tears and crying on each other's shoulder at odd times throughout the day. We are so lucky to have shared their lives.

I hope that you find peace soon as well, and always remember what a dear friend you had in your Baxter. I like to think that they're frolicking together in the sun, chasing butterflies, happy and carefree.

~Lavana
Quote 0 0